Doc Johnson’s My BFF provided for review by funlove


This vibrator reminds me of a tentacle. An overweight one. Like maybe an octopus with low self esteem that compulsively overeats.

It is six inches long and knobby. It has a twist dial at the base that controls the strength of the vibration. Oh, and it is pink. Very pink.


I feel bad when I have nothing good to say about a product, mostly because I anthropomorphize things, and I imagine that this shitty pink vibrator knows I have thoroughly rejected it. I imagine that it’s sad and wishes it had been “born” a Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s writing really bad poetry and listening to Taylor Swift. This just makes me like it less, but now I feel pity in addition to contempt. It’s an odd combination that eventually gets shrugged off and put into the “You’re an irrational weirdo, Mimi” folder of my brain.

So let’s make this quick and painless. I like that the vibrator is hard, that the vibration is pretty easy to control and that the vibration covers a wide area, but I hate the powder pink colour and that I cannot have an orgasm, even after patience that should merit 800 orgasms. If you can get off by rubbing your crotch on the arm of a couch and you really like pink, then this is probably a totally acceptable vibrator for you. As for me, it’s not worth it at all. I wouldn’t recommend it.


The Naked Truth
Aesthetics: ★☆☆☆☆
Intensity: ★★★☆☆
Volume: ★★☆☆☆
Ease of Cleaning: ★★★☆☆
Functionality: ★☆☆☆☆
Overall: ★★☆☆☆

California Exotic Novelties’ Super Strap Super Sheet

Normally, I’d offer a more thorough review, but really, this mini comic sums it all up perfectly.

Sex Sheet provided by Aruzzo

Okay, okay. I guess there’s other things you should know. It’s vinyl and it’s “king size”.


Sex in the Shower Suction Hand Cuffs

Sex in the Shower Suction Hand Cuffs provided by


The hand cuffs are one of the more simply designed products that we’ve reviewed. But that doesn’t keep them from being great!

Essentially they are soft Velcro cuffs attached to heavy duty suction cups. Sex in the Shower is a division of Sportsheets so for anyone that has tried the Under the Bed Restraint System, these cuffs will feel very familiar. Soft but not padded and firm but not uncomfortable, the cuffs are just right for feeling confined without getting hurt. Depending on how you feel about power play, that can be good or bad.

The suction cups are extremely powerful and will stay on the wall through the roughest of play. They do, however slide around a little bit. Not enough that it was a problem for us, but if one of your vibrators makes you squirm, you may find it annoying.

The beautiful thing about a product like this is that the possible uses for it are nearly limitless. The cuffs are independent of one another and will stick to almost any flat surface. For the bath of course, but also car windows, desktops, mirrors, etc…

Don’t worry, her head is above water. At this moment…



I had mixed feelings about this product. Sure, I love my Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System, but I’m skeptical of suction cups being able to handle rough, raucous, raunchy sex. Maybe it’s because the suction cup (not) holding my razor in place is a piece of shit that falls off the wall all the time.

Not the case here! We really tugged hard on them and they stayed stuck to the wall. Standing or bathing, they are quite useful for some bondage play. And the bound individual/slave/submissive/etc. can fairly easily let his or herself out, so there’s not really any risk of drowning. (Heh. For some of you, that might be a turn-off.)

There isn’t really much more to say. Like the Under the Bed Restraint System, it’s a very simple product that performs exactly the way it’s meant to perform. Hurray for effective design!

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: ★★★★☆

Functionality: ★★★★★

Craftsmanship: ★★★★★

Ease of Installation: ★★★★★

Discretion: ★★★★★

Safety ★★★★★