Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

Rough Sex is composed of five scenes that are presented as the female performer’s real life fantasies. Adrianna Nicole and Marco Banderas act out a breaking and entering scene, Satine Phoenix plays a stranded motorist at the mercy of good samaritan Derrick Pierce, Francesca Le forces Christian to pay more attention to her – with a flogger, Marie Luv gets caught in a lie by Julius Ceazher and has to pay the price, and Sasha Grey….just fucks Danny Wylde. Each scene starts off with both performers explaining what the performers like about rough sex, what the term means to each of them, and (for the females) what the fantasy involves.

This film certainly lives up to its title. There is plenty of slapping, spitting, hair pulling, choking, and manhandling. Over the course of our relationship, Mimi and I have been discovering and pushing our sexual boundaries. Spanking, hair pulling and aggressive sex are becoming more and more common between us. We are still tender with one another when it feels right, but we also have the outlet of very aggressive, passionate sex in our repertoire. Because I have come to enjoy rough sex so much, I expected to enjoy the depictions in Rough Sex quite a lot.

I was pleased to hear the performers speak to their likes and dislikes and describe why they chose the specific partner that they did to help them make their fantasies come true. There were only a few moments within the actual sex that I found appealing, though. For the most part, this felt like just another porn movie to me. The people looked like freakish sex mannequins, the sex acts were sterilized of all emotion and the god awful porn noises were ubiquitous. The editing choices cut out almost all of the transitions and all of the safe sex practices.

Speaking of safe sex, there was a DVD extra that went over the importance of safer sex and that is the only place that it is mentioned or acknowledged as important. I understand that the idea is to portray a fantasy and that realistic depictions of anal warm up or condom or dental dam usage would interfere with that suspension of disbelief. However, the sad truth in America (thanks in large part to Abstinence Only education) is that a lot of people get most if not all of their ideas of what sex should be from the media, porn included. It seems like there must be some sort of acceptable middle ground.

I’ve made my opinions on mainstream porn pretty clear before and maybe that takes some of my credibility away but I was not excited by this film.

Mimi

I really wanted to love Rough Sex because I happen to enjoy slapping, biting, scratching, manhandling, and the like – both as the one doing and receiving. I also have a great deal of respect for Tristan Taormino. It seemed like a match made in pornographic heaven.

As you can probably tell already, that was not the case.

Satine and Derrick Pierce’s “stranded” fantasy scene and Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde’s switch scene were the most arousing and dynamic to me. Perhaps that has something to do with the roughness and power play in those scenes appearing much more natural and pleasurable to both individuals. (I have a stranded fantasy, too, which may contribute.) The connection between Satine and Derrick is continuous, and it helped me believe that domination. When she mouthed “thank you” as she lay on the ground with his cum on her bare chest, I thought, “Now that’s something I can relate to.” As Sasha and Danny exchange power and react to situations within the scene, their lusty playfulness is, again, something that feels palpable to me. I’m not interested in pure fantasy. Just as these five women are orchestrating their fantasies into reality, I’m interested in where fantasy meets our imperfect physicality.

This is why I take similar issue to Rough Sex as Joseph. I won’t bother repeating what he has said, for obvious reasons, but I want to be clear that I definitely agree with his points about the overall sterilization that occurs in this film. Like I said, I really respect Taormino and I think she has done a lot to bring subjects like anal sex, nonmonogamy, and rough sex to new audiences, but surely a balance can be created.

Technically speaking, this is a well made porn about rough sex, specifically women fulfilling their fantasies. If you don’t have similar stipulations as us when it comes to porn, you may love Rough Sex. I have to settle for only liking it.

Rough Sex? Check.

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The Anal Sex Position Guide provided by Eden Fantasys

Joseph

I found The Anal Sex Position Guide by Tristan Taormino to be fairly excellent.

There is not much explanation required for this one. Taormino likes her titles to be fairly telling of the subject matter and this book is no exception. It is an anal sex position guide.

As with all of Taormino’s work that I’ve seen, she prefaces the bulk of the book with information about responsible and respectful practices. This includes anatomical information, safe sex practices, a chapter about the importance of communication, a dispelling of common anal sex myths, and a good discussion about the importance of warm-up.

After she gives you the tools you need to succeed, Taormino jumps right into the position guide. She simply breaks down the positions with an explanation of how they are done, the pros and cons of each, and any variations to that position. Accompanying each position description is at least one picture of perfect, airbrushed people demonstrating the position and making faces that they think they would make if they were actually doing it. As you can probably tell by the snarky way in which I described them, perfect airbrushed people leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. However, I think they are fairly appropriate for this book. They are for demonstration purposes only so it is ok for them to be mannequins.

About the only issue that I have with this book (I have to have one problem with everything, it is in my nature) is the subtitle: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure. I can agree that anal sex can be mind-blowing and is almost always exciting for one reason or another. However, I just can’t get behind (heh) calling it easy. Asses are finicky and everything has to be just right for anal sex to work and that ain’t easy. Taormino’s book certainly makes it easier, though.

Mimi

My experience with anal sex has been fairly standard in terms of positions – Missionary, Spooning, Doggie Style, Flying Doggie, and Horizontal Tailgate – with me almost always on the receiving end, so Tristan Taormino’s The Anal Sex Position Guide arrived here with a warm welcome. Sometimes a little extra nudge in the way of practical advice and men and women with bodies made of fantasy is what you need to try something new. And where ever you are in your anal sex escapades, The Anal Sex Position Guide is sure to offer you some useful information that is approachable and classy.

Similar to her writing in Opening Up, Taormino’s voice is friendly and casual, yet direct and clear in its attempt to guide. I feel like Taormino is someone I could talk to without feeling embarrassed or intimidated. It’s an excellent balance she creates in her writing. I love how she talks extensively about safe anal sex practices, lubricants, and toys for both men and women. This book will be most useful to someone who is new to anal sex, but it has other advantages for more experienced individuals. It’s also a great tool for instances where one individual in a couple wants to try something, but they don’t know how to bring it up or discuss it.

As you may or may not have picked up on, me and Joseph are gradually moving into anal play for him, which I have a little bit of experience with but hardly enough to count. Prior to our relationship, I was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of using a strap-on and became squeamish at the mere thought of using one. It’s not me! I can’t tell what I’m doing! That sort of problem. Chapter 11 Anal Pleasure for Men & Strap-On Sex and Chapter 12 Positions for Strap-On Anal Sex were really useful and really comforting. I was open to the idea of using a strap-on with Joseph before reading The Anal Sex Position Guide, but now I am mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to attempt this new and exciting activity in our lives.

I can sympathize with Joseph about the models, but I also think that, like Taormino mentioned in the book itself, anal sex is in a sense coming out of the shadows and when you’re presenting a concept that can be difficult for a lot of people, it’s important to try meeting them halfway. Glossy pages, sensual and warm colors, using a traditional perception of human physical beauty – these things make a book about putting things in your butt less… like putting things in your butt. I’m not ashamed of my actions – or my pleasure – and I don’t think I should be. I am a clean, healthy, self-respecting individual. Not everyone shares this perspective.

Also, I’m sure young, sexy, you’ll-never-look-like-this-and-you’ll-never-fuck-anyone-that-does-either models help books sell.  And I don’t mind Taormino making a buck. Or a lot of bucks.

In short, The Anal Sex Position Guide has offered me some needed confidence to pursue my interests. It has done so with style yet without pretention. Can’t argue with that.

The Naked Truth:

Design: 5 out of 5 stars

Readability: 5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: 5 out of 5 stars

Overall: 5 out of 5 stars

It’s good to have hobbies.

$19.99The Anal Sex Position Guide Book by Tristan Taormino Format: Paperback Publisher: Quiver Buy from EdenFantasys

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Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up” Provided by us by our favorite: Babeland

Mimi

“Opening Up” is not just about fucking multiple people. This book is about re-thinking what history and culture has brought us, then make a decision for yourself. Are you monogamous because you consciously choose to be or because everyone in your family is monogamous? Would you be happier if you could pursue your interest in the same sex? Can you be the submissive that your primary partner wants? Do you believe that the current family structure is really the best for raising children? These are the kind of questions you’ll ask yourself (and perhaps your partner) while reading this book and probably long after your done. It’s an excellent beginning to an exciting, interesting, and totally relevant subject.

Joseph

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Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex: Part One, Cunnilingus

Again, provided for us by our fabulous friends at Babeland

Joseph

I have read a good many cunnilingus guides in my time. I was a rather late bloomer, keeping my virginity until the age of 23. In my insecure mind, I thought that I was going to be rather disappointing to my first partner (which actually turned out to be true, but for different reasons than I expected) so I thought that I should learn ways to compensate for my inexperience. I read countless online tutorials. I even sampled some of the books at Barnes & Noble that claimed to be able to teach “tongue magic”.

I have been told by every woman that I have been with that I am quite skilled with my mouth. I don’t think that I am talented or gifted in that regard. I think the thing that sets me apart from most is that I enjoy cunnilingus. So much so that I daydream about making Her moan with nothing but my tongue and lips.

Looking back, I do not think that any of the guides or books had anything in them that was not common sense. “Listen to your lover,” and “Ask what she likes,” and “The clitoris is extremely sensitive.”

Tristan’s guide was much the same, but with people acting out the advice.

Broken up into several sections and scenes with different people, the DVD illustrates all of the teaching points with visual aid. Yes. People performing cunnilingus. As much as it markets itself otherwise, there is still a lot of  ”porn” element to this DVD. Men on women, women on women, with and without commentary. In addition to guided instruction, the DVD offers a good feature on safer cunnilingus which I am always in favor of.

This DVD would be great for young men or women seeking to get a good overview of technique and communication practice. It would be (and was) useful for a more experienced couple as a reminder to always slow down and experiment. Aside from moments when its porn roots show through, it gets my seal of approval.

Mimi

I am very lucky to have a partner that is notably talented at performing cunnilingus, so when we chose to get “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex: Part One Cunnilingus”, it was not a rescue mission. In a bold stretch of arrogance, we had even considered that the video wouldn’t have anything to teach. If nothing else, we hoped to be comforted by the knowledge that a good, educational video about cunnilingus existed out in the world – one that people might actually watch.

We decided to go about it like this: he would watch the video alone, then work his magic when I got home, and then we could talk about any improvements that may have been made. I noticed that he slowed down more, and that was, primarily, the change. It makes a difference. Based on my experience and the things other women have told me, a lot of people tend to forget that they need to slow down, that the build-up is very important. The video emphasized that a lot, which I think is a really great thing.

It also emphasized experimentation (various ideas for tongue and hand movement were offered), sex toy use, and a woman’s responsibility to communicate her desires. Surely body language can offer a lot of useful feedback, but sometimes you really need to say, “Could you move your finger a little more to the left?” These are not things that we needed to be taught or reminded of, necessarily, but I’m sure it would be helpful for other people given how carefully these ideas and actions are presented to the viewer.

One thing that I really liked about the video, once I got around to watching it, was a special mini feature devoted to safer cunnilingus. Taormino narrated a young, attractive couple demonstrating each method in such a way that the information is clearly understandable and approachable in practice. Aside from condoms, which exist very near the surface of sexual conscientiousness, tools and methods of safer sexual activities always seem kind of awkward and mood killing. This video takes away some of that awkwardness.

There is, of course, a lot of cunnilingus in the video, with and without commentary. There’s also a “bonus” section where Justine Joli, a sexy redhead leading the hands-on workshop, and her assistant, Ariel, go at it on a couch, which didn’t particularly do it for me, although finally seeing the redhead naked was certainly fulfilling the promise of a bonus. It was a bit strange to hear standard “educational video” music as the background to blatantly pornographic scenes, but I think this DVD navigated the peculiar state of being educational and pornographic fairly well.

The Naked Truth:

Aesthetics: 5 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 2 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: 5 out of 5 stars

Storyline: N/A

Overall: 4 out of 5 stars – Given the fact that this DVD’s main purpose is educational.

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