Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex

Rough Sex

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

Rough Sex is composed of five scenes that are presented as the female performer’s real life fantasies. Adrianna Nicole and Marco Banderas act out a breaking and entering scene, Satine Phoenix plays a stranded motorist at the mercy of good samaritan Derrick Pierce, Francesca Le forces Christian to pay more attention to her – with a flogger, Marie Luv gets caught in a lie by Julius Ceazher and has to pay the price, and Sasha Grey….just fucks Danny Wylde. Each scene starts off with both performers explaining what the performers like about rough sex, what the term means to each of them, and (for the females) what the fantasy involves.

This film certainly lives up to its title. There is plenty of slapping, spitting, hair pulling, choking, and manhandling. Over the course of our relationship, Mimi and I have been discovering and pushing our sexual boundaries. Spanking, hair pulling and aggressive sex are becoming more and more common between us. We are still tender with one another when it feels right, but we also have the outlet of very aggressive, passionate sex in our repertoire. Because I have come to enjoy rough sex so much, I expected to enjoy the depictions in Rough Sex quite a lot.

I was pleased to hear the performers speak to their likes and dislikes and describe why they chose the specific partner that they did to help them make their fantasies come true. There were only a few moments within the actual sex that I found appealing, though. For the most part, this felt like just another porn movie to me. The people looked like freakish sex mannequins, the sex acts were sterilized of all emotion and the god awful porn noises were ubiquitous. The editing choices cut out almost all of the transitions and all of the safe sex practices.

Speaking of safe sex, there was a DVD extra that went over the importance of safer sex and that is the only place that it is mentioned or acknowledged as important. I understand that the idea is to portray a fantasy and that realistic depictions of anal warm up or condom or dental dam usage would interfere with that suspension of disbelief. However, the sad truth in America (thanks in large part to Abstinence Only education) is that a lot of people get most if not all of their ideas of what sex should be from the media, porn included. It seems like there must be some sort of acceptable middle ground.

I’ve made my opinions on mainstream porn pretty clear before and maybe that takes some of my credibility away but I was not excited by this film.

Mimi

I really wanted to love Rough Sex because I happen to enjoy slapping, biting, scratching, manhandling, and the like – both as the one doing and receiving. I also have a great deal of respect for Tristan Taormino. It seemed like a match made in pornographic heaven.

As you can probably tell already, that was not the case.

Satine and Derrick Pierce’s “stranded” fantasy scene and Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde’s switch scene were the most arousing and dynamic to me. Perhaps that has something to do with the roughness and power play in those scenes appearing much more natural and pleasurable to both individuals. (I have a stranded fantasy, too, which may contribute.) The connection between Satine and Derrick is continuous, and it helped me believe that domination. When she mouthed “thank you” as she lay on the ground with his cum on her bare chest, I thought, “Now that’s something I can relate to.” As Sasha and Danny exchange power and react to situations within the scene, their lusty playfulness is, again, something that feels palpable to me. I’m not interested in pure fantasy. Just as these five women are orchestrating their fantasies into reality, I’m interested in where fantasy meets our imperfect physicality.

This is why I take similar issue to Rough Sex as Joseph. I won’t bother repeating what he has said, for obvious reasons, but I want to be clear that I definitely agree with his points about the overall sterilization that occurs in this film. Like I said, I really respect Taormino and I think she has done a lot to bring subjects like anal sex, nonmonogamy, and rough sex to new audiences, but surely a balance can be created.

Technically speaking, this is a well made porn about rough sex, specifically women fulfilling their fantasies. If you don’t have similar stipulations as us when it comes to porn, you may love Rough Sex. I have to settle for only liking it.

Married Life

Rough Sex? Check.

Anal Sex Position Guide

Anal Sex Position Guide

The Anal Sex Position Guide provided by Eden Fantasys

Joseph

I found The Anal Sex Position Guide by Tristan Taormino to be fairly excellent.

There is not much explanation required for this one. Taormino likes her titles to be fairly telling of the subject matter and this book is no exception. It is an anal sex position guide.

As with all of Taormino’s work that I’ve seen, she prefaces the bulk of the book with information about responsible and respectful practices. This includes anatomical information, safe sex practices, a chapter about the importance of communication, a dispelling of common anal sex myths, and a good discussion about the importance of warm-up.

After she gives you the tools you need to succeed, Taormino jumps right into the position guide. She simply breaks down the positions with an explanation of how they are done, the pros and cons of each, and any variations to that position. Accompanying each position description is at least one picture of perfect, airbrushed people demonstrating the position and making faces that they think they would make if they were actually doing it. As you can probably tell by the snarky way in which I described them, perfect airbrushed people leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. However, I think they are fairly appropriate for this book. They are for demonstration purposes only so it is ok for them to be mannequins.

About the only issue that I have with this book (I have to have one problem with everything, it is in my nature) is the subtitle: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure. I can agree that anal sex can be mind-blowing and is almost always exciting for one reason or another. However, I just can’t get behind (heh) calling it easy. Asses are finicky and everything has to be just right for anal sex to work and that ain’t easy. Taormino’s book certainly makes it easier, though.

Mimi

My experience with anal sex has been fairly standard in terms of positions – Missionary, Spooning, Doggie Style, Flying Doggie, and Horizontal Tailgate – with me almost always on the receiving end, so Tristan Taormino’s The Anal Sex Position Guide arrived here with a warm welcome. Sometimes a little extra nudge in the way of practical advice and men and women with bodies made of fantasy is what you need to try something new. And where ever you are in your anal sex escapades, The Anal Sex Position Guide is sure to offer you some useful information that is approachable and classy.

Similar to her writing in Opening Up, Taormino’s voice is friendly and casual, yet direct and clear in its attempt to guide. I feel like Taormino is someone I could talk to without feeling embarrassed or intimidated. It’s an excellent balance she creates in her writing. I love how she talks extensively about safe anal sex practices, lubricants, and toys for both men and women. This book will be most useful to someone who is new to anal sex, but it has other advantages for more experienced individuals. It’s also a great tool for instances where one individual in a couple wants to try something, but they don’t know how to bring it up or discuss it.

As you may or may not have picked up on, me and Joseph are gradually moving into anal play for him, which I have a little bit of experience with but hardly enough to count. Prior to our relationship, I was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of using a strap-on and became squeamish at the mere thought of using one. It’s not me! I can’t tell what I’m doing! That sort of problem. Chapter 11 Anal Pleasure for Men & Strap-On Sex and Chapter 12 Positions for Strap-On Anal Sex were really useful and really comforting. I was open to the idea of using a strap-on with Joseph before reading The Anal Sex Position Guide, but now I am mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to attempt this new and exciting activity in our lives.

I can sympathize with Joseph about the models, but I also think that, like Taormino mentioned in the book itself, anal sex is in a sense coming out of the shadows and when you’re presenting a concept that can be difficult for a lot of people, it’s important to try meeting them halfway. Glossy pages, sensual and warm colors, using a traditional perception of human physical beauty – these things make a book about putting things in your butt less… like putting things in your butt. I’m not ashamed of my actions – or my pleasure – and I don’t think I should be. I am a clean, healthy, self-respecting individual. Not everyone shares this perspective.

Also, I’m sure young, sexy, you’ll-never-look-like-this-and-you’ll-never-fuck-anyone-that-does-either models help books sell.  And I don’t mind Taormino making a buck. Or a lot of bucks.

In short, The Anal Sex Position Guide has offered me some needed confidence to pursue my interests. It has done so with style yet without pretention. Can’t argue with that.

The Naked Truth:

Design: ★★★★★

Readability: ★★★★★

Educational Value: ★★★★★

Overall: ★★★★★

We also have the encyclopedia of serial killers

It’s good to have hobbies.

product picture
Book by Tristan Taormino
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Quiver

Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up”

herandopeningup1

Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up” Provided by us by our favorite: Babeland

Mimi

My romantic relationship with Him actually began as an open relationship because neither one of us was ready to give up our casual, sexual relationships with other people, plus for a few months I lived about a thousand miles away. As friends we had already established trust through a mutual commitment to self-awareness and communication, so it made acknowledging our independent sexual exploits easier to cope with.

We are currently (happily) monogamous, but seeing as how it’s unlikely I’ll wake up one day no longer desiring vagina, we’ll probably negotiate terms for nonmonogamy in the future. I have never really believed that I could be monogamous without lying or cheating, which is unacceptable to me, but I think it’s working for me right now because despite being in a “normal” relationship, we still think about it on very individualistic terms. For example, I do not believe that I can fulfill all of his needs all of the time, nor do we believe we possess each other by virtue of our love.

In sum, we are predisposed to favor a lifestyle that follows self-created standards instead of societal standards. I was really looking forward to reading “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino.

This book reads similar to a sociological study yet with more frequent use of humor, personal insight, and bias. It’s also much more approachable, which is important considering the nature of the subject. There are moments when Taormino’s obvious preference for nonmonogamy becomes like propaganda to join a special club. (All the cool kids are doing it.) One can overlook these moments, though, because they’re minor in comparison to Taormino’s commitment to helping people live as authentically to themselves as possible.

If you are even a little experienced with nonmonogamy, parts of this book may seem monotonous to you; however, I recommend reading this book in its entirety because Taormino slips in things that are good to remember. In relationships we have a habit of forgetting ourselves and/or the values that made the relationships so great in the first place. It’s good to be reminded of things like this:

“When you don’t honor your feelings and instincts, when you don’t verbalize what you want and need, when you keep silent so you don’t rock the boat, it’s only a matter of time before you feel bad. “

After reading this book, you may find that it can help reinforce/redirect your monogamous relationship because the necessities of nonmonogamy apply to other styles. Communication, personal boundaries, self-awareness, trust – these are all aspects of a healthy partnership.

Aside from the clarity and examples Taormino offers, I really enjoy the practicality she employs, which makes her message truly penetrative. Continually I thought to myself, ‘Yes, that makes sense’. It makes sense to not make promises about the rest of our lives because we don’t know what’s going to happen. It makes sense to embrace other people you love instead of lying about it to yourself and your partner, where it will breed resentment and mistrust. It makes sense to challenge your fears and insecurities by forcing them to the surface.

“Opening Up” is not just about fucking multiple people. This book is about re-thinking what history and culture has brought us, then make a decision for yourself. Are you monogamous because you consciously choose to be or because everyone in your family is monogamous? Would you be happier if you could pursue your interest in the same sex? Can you be the submissive that your primary partner wants? Do you believe that the current family structure is really the best for raising children? These are the kind of questions you’ll ask yourself (and perhaps your partner) while reading this book and probably long after your done. It’s an excellent beginning to an exciting, interesting, and totally relevant subject.

Joseph

Opening Up is a must read for anyone considering an open relationship for the first time and must skim for those with previous open experience.

The book is very well written and approached from a holistic and qualitative perspective. This gives much of the book an academic feel that can be tricky. You (or at least I did) have to keep reminding yourself “This book is not the result of an extensive sociological study. This book is one woman’s opinion.” Taormino’s opinion is that open relationships are vastly superior to traditional monogamous relationships and that comes through quite clearly in the book. Some aspects are quite heavy handed. Which is fine for a book that is one woman’s opinion, you just have to keep reminding yourself. There is no et al here, it is just Taormino and her personally edited interviews.

Aside from sometimes having a deceivingly decisive feel about it, it is a great book for beginners. It outlines the history of open relationships, the different types and styles (and acknowledges that there is limit to what can be done), some of the problems that are more common in open relationships, and best practices for making relationships work. On that last item, I left out the word open because most of the things that Taormino reccomends for making an open relationship work are really things that are needed to make any relationship work: honesty, respect, time management, consideration of your partner(s) feelings, etc.

Each chapter is smattered with excerpts from interviews that Taormino conducted while researching the book. This gives a healthy “real people” feeling to the book and often puts Taormino’s points in the words of real people living the lifestyle.

Taormino also includes the legal considerations of being in an open relationship as well as different approaches to raising children, coming out to loved ones, living in peace in this society and safer sex practices. The holistic way that the subject is approached in this book is what makes it fantastic and indispensable. Open relationships are a LIFE choice and not just about getting to fuck other people while keeping someone to watch TV on the couch with and Taormino portrays that wonderfully.

As someone with a little experience with open relations and a lot of experience with interpersonal relations, I did find parts of the book to be tedious and painfully simple. But I am not who the book is written for. For someone that is approaching open relationships for the first time, it is gold.

fridge-family

Do more mommies and daddies mean more birthday presents?

The Naked Truth:

Design: ★★★★★

Readability: ★★★★★

Educational Value: ★★★★★

Overall: ★★★★★