Bend over Beginner Kit provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

We live in a very strange culture. On one hand there is sex in nearly every advertising message that we see. And boy do we see them. It is estimated the average American is confronted with 3,000 advertising messages in some form per day.

Then on the other hand, our national stance on sex is the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting LALALLALALLALA! I am referring, of course, to the fact that a huge number of schools in this nation still teach abstinence only sex education. Because if you don’t teach kids about sex, they won’t have it!

This type of ignorance mixed with over stimulation often gives rise to confusing feelings and the proliferation of misguided concepts about sex and sexuality. Don’t tell me that you have never heard the ludicrous assertions “If I have sex on my period, I can’t get pregnant” or “Well, a blowjob is not sex so you can’t catch anything from giving one“ or the slightly more articulated “If a man receives anal sex, that makes him a fag.”

I grew up in this environment (and I imagine most of you did, too) and while I was able to get my hands on good solid information about sex and sexuality, I am still aware of the general climate in which I live and operate.

It is with that in mind that I announce our first ever review series: The Bend over Beginner kit from Tantus. The reason that we have chosen to do this in a series is because pegging is a very sensitive subject both where we live and at large. We are hoping that by going slowly with this subject, we can cover it more completely and address some of the issues that people have with it.

In this installation we are simply going to talk about the product itself.

The kit is two 100% silicone dildos (7/8″ x 4-1/2″ and 1-1/4″ x 5-1/2″), an adjustable (up to 60″) velvet harness with a pocket for the included bullet vibrator. It also has an interchangeable O-ring in case you want to use larger dildos.

As always with Tantus, the quality of all the materials seems very high and everything is easily cleanable. The harness is machine washable and the dildos can be sanitized via boiling or washing with bleach.

The next installment will cover how the harness fits, warm up and the use of the smaller dildos.

Do YOU have any experience pegging or being pegged? Share your experience with us. Either leave a comment or send us an email. Whichever you are more comfortable with.

Triple Crown Vibrating Beads provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

I am rather inexperienced with anal toys of all kinds. The only one that I’ve ever used other than the Bona Dea (what this product is called everywhere but Babeland) is the Flexi Felix. With that in mind, I do not endorse this product.

Although it feels pretty good when you actually get it in and all the beads are vibrating, it has some HUGE design flaws that prevent its comfortable use. But before I get into that, let’s talk about its construction.

The Bona Dea is a set of three beads with an independently controlled vibrating bullet in each bead. It is 6-1/2″ x 1-1/8″ and is made from 100% silicone which makes it silky smooth and easy to disinfect. The bullets are made from hard plastic, have a push-button on/off control and last for about 40 minutes. They take two LR41 (tiny watch) batteries a piece. These batteries will run you about $ .50 each if you need to replace them.

Now that you have an idea of just what it is, allow me to tear it to shreds. I have enough complaints that I am actually going to employ the list method of bitching. It is more scientific.

1. Those fucking vibrating bullets: They need TWO tiny little batteries to work and only last for 40 minutes. They are made of hard plastic which means that they cannot be disinfected. They twist apart so you can replace the aforementioned tiny batteries. That means there is a large opportunity for feces and bacteria to get inside of them and fester. The on/off control is placed in the same spot that you have to push in order to insert the Bona Dea. That makes accidentally turning them on and off inevitable.
2. The removal key: This is an included metal hook that is the only way to remove those fucking vibrating bullets. You must cram it down the hole that a bullet rests in, turn in 90 degrees, and then yank it out hard. Think about that for a moment. BEFORE you can clean this thing that has been in an ass, you must grab it, shove a metal thing down a small hole, then pull a hard plastic bullet that has also been in said ass out and it ain’t easy. You have to hold on to the beads to have enough leverage to pull the bullet out. F-U-N! Oh yeah, the key can scratch the beads or the bullets creating new crevices for bacteria.
3. The holes that the bullets go into: These serve as somewhat of a colon shovel. Enough said.
4. The linkage method of the beads: The beads are not linked in the middle like normal anal beads (0-0-0) but are linked at the edges (0_0_0). This both makes them harder to remove and makes the colon shovels more effective by stretching them upon removal. Sheesh.

Bona Dea FAIL!

It seems like it would be better to embed the bullets completely and make them rechargeable rather than the arduous and clumsily method chosen. Then the linking method could be properly done, the thing could be properly cleaned, and I wouldn’t be so infuriated.

Oooo-Sexy

Mimi

Wow… what to say… what to say…

He’s right. Pulling the Bona Dea from its stylish packaging, it looks impressive and exciting. Vibrating beads in my ass? That sounds fantastic. I’ll try anything twice.

I did try it – numerous times, actually. It does feel good once you insert them, accidentally turning one off in the process, and as they come out vibrating on an orgasmic wave. All of that is fine or great even.

Then cleaning them is terrible and not worth the previous pleasure. I repeat, Not Worth The Previous Pleasure. Even if you do it immediately, build up can occur inside the vibrating bullets, and it has for us as I’m sure it does for everyone. The poo will go where it will. Try getting it out of those little bullet crevices without damaging it. I dare you. Post a YouTube video. Convince me, please.

It won’t matter, though, because I’m totally throwing it out. Now.

The Naked Truth

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Good looks will only take you so far…

Smartballs teneo provided for review by Good Vibrations

Joseph

Smartballs teneo are elastomed balls with a silicone coating that are designed to strengthen women’s pelvic muscles. The box claims that they do this because of a smaller weighted ball inside the outer shell of the Smartballs. Supposedly this weight will shift as the woman moves and this shift will tell her pelvic muscles that something needs to be held onto. The pelvic muscles will flex, thereby strengthening them.

They are available in doubles or singles, each ball is 1 ¾” long and 1 ½” in diameter. As stated above, the balls themselves are elastomed and are coated with silicone which is nice because both of those materials are hypoallergenic and can be disinfected. To clean them, simply wash with warm water and mild soap. To disinfect, boil them for about 10 minutes.

The teneo line of Smartballs sets itself apart from the original by having an indentation at the base of the ball that makes it easier to insert and by having a raised swirl design for “improved sensitivity.”

So, let me get this right, you stick these in and forget about them. Go about your daily routine and these balls will be strengthening your PC muscles all day with little to no effort on your part. Strong PC muscles mean better sex. So…stronger muscles and better sex just like that. Magic, right?

Mimi

Joseph covered the Smartballs teneo in terms of their material, design, and purpose quite well, so I’m going to skip ahead to my experience with the teneo.

Inserting them is uncomfortable because of their wide, blunt shape. Imagine a big circle going into a smaller circle. There you go.

As to whether or not they work, I am uncertain. It really just felt like I was wearing a tampon. There really didn’t feel like any weight was added and I forgot about them most of the time. If I am understanding kegel balls correctly – and please correct me if I am wrong – then this is a negative quality of the teneo Smartballs. If there’s not enough added weight, how can it really work your muscles? And if I need to consciously work those muscles every so often throughout the day in order for the teneo Smartballs to be effective, then why buy the balls at all? Why not just do that on my own?

They are designed really well and I think it’s great they can be disinfected, as Joseph said, but I can’t help feeling it’s not serving its purpose as well as it could. Or should.

My vote? No thanks, feeling the sensation of wearing a tampon is enough one week a month. I don’t need any added days.

The Naked Truth

Entertainment Value: N/A

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Strongest tree branches EVAR!