Mimi

I purchased njoy’s Fun Wand almost two years ago to accompany my Hitachi Magic Wand from Babeland after searching online for the right dildo. My specifications were for the toy to be metal, glass, or silicone; double sided; curved for g-spot stimulation; and slender.

Medical-grade stainless steel, 1” at its widest, curved perfectly for g-spot stimulation, and double sided with one end beaded – the Fun Wand seemed perfect. The graduated beads were a selling point for me because I wanted to have the option of that sensation. If you’ve read my other reviews, you know that I prefer versatile toys.

When I first held it in my hands I remember thinking that 11 ounces was heavier than I thought, but the weight felt “right”. Not heavy enough to be scary, not light enough to incite apathy. Very satisfying. I also enjoyed how responsive the Fun Wand is to temperature. (It seems redundant to mention temperature play with a metal toy, but you know, if you’ve never experimented with metal before, it might not occur to you right away.) I like a slight pinch of cold steel before insertion, but if that’s really not your thing, the Fun Wand warms up quickly in your hands or under warm water.

Initially masturbating with the Fun Wand was really awkward, in fact I experienced a “SHIT I just spent $88 on a toy I don’t like” moment. Reasons: 1.) super smoothness + lube = one slippery object, 2.) it’s 7-1/2” long, which after insertion leaves you few inches leftover to maneuver. However, these complications are easily remedied with practice and not overdoing it with the lubrication.

Alas, I took a deep breath and kept at it, despite slippage that disrupted my rhythm and my chi. There’s a payoff to determination. It’s a big wet one commonly referred to as female ejaculation. I’ll admit that I don’t actually care a whole lot about squirting. I’ve had many really intense, amazing orgasms that did not come with a wet dramatic finish.  I’ve also squirted before when it seemed entirely unwarranted. I didn’t even feel an orgasm coming! It’s exciting in a way, amusing, and inconvenient to varying degrees (you will need to change your sheets, maybe flip the mattress, etc.) – it’s not the measuring stick for a good time. So if you don’t do it right away or even within a few weeks of using this product like I did, don’t stress about it.

You will have a good time. You will have fun. They changed the name of this product from Saturn Wand to Fun Wand. Why? Because it’s a lot of damn fun. (Actually, I’m guessing.)

The Fun Wand is also great for anal play, especially for beginners. The beads are small (again, 1” at it’s largest), smooth, and easy to clean. I can’t personally vouch for this, but it seems like men would enjoy it, too.

Fun, sexy, versatile, high quality – could you ask for a better dildo?

Joseph

We affectionately refer to this toy as “the spaceship” because of its sleek, futuristic style. I guess it was the second sex toy I had ever seen up close before and it did a lot to sell me on the use of sex toys. This is not something that is sketchy or questionable. The words “dong” and “ultra-erotic” belong nowhere near this toy.

It comes in a very sturdy black box emblazed with the brand name njoy in silver. Inside the box is a form fitted resting place for the Fun Wand covered by a soft fuchsia fabric. Much like a really fancy coffin….

Anyway, morbid comparisons aside, the packaging alone speaks of quality and care rather than marketing and lowest common denominator.  The medical grade shiny steel toy itself is seamless and has a very satisfying weight to it. The design makes it clear that it was created to be multi-purpose. One end is wider and curved in a way that immediately pops “g-spot” into one’s mind and the other end has graduated beads that look very much like a set of anal beads. I wonder why.

Although I have not personally experimented with it yet, it seems like it could certainly be used for men or women. The experience that I do have with it is helping Mimi use it when my fingers are too sore to do the job. I’ll be honest, it is not comfortable to use on someone else. The graduated beads do not lend themselves to being held at that angle and the steel is not forgiving. Having said that, I have a special place in my heart for anything that makes Mimi squirm the way that this toy does.

If you are looking for a toy that will bring a little respectability to your toy chest and last forever without costing several hundred dollars, the Fun Wand is a very attractive option.

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“I’m givin’ her all I’ve got, Captain!”

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Fetish Pleasure Pad provided by Tabu Toys

Joseph

The Fetish Pleasure Pad is another sex toy that is technically a good idea but fails in application. Let me describe it as simply as I can. It is a soft pad with four straps and a hole in the middle. It seems like it would be frustrating to use any other dildos than the ones included because the bases would need to be of a specific size to fit through the hole. Of course, when I say “use” I mean strap said dildo wielding pad to a chair, bench, motorcycle, or whatever kind of sturdy object that you can and have fun.

Pipedream (the manufacturer) is kind enough to include two dongs (the term they use), lube and toy cleaner sample, and a blindfold in the box with the pleasure pad. The dongs are made of latex rubber and stink like you would not believe. Imagine having a condom inside your olfactory glands and then you may begin to understand. Aside from reeking, one of  the dongs is neon blue and “realistic”. The other is smaller, slimmer, and black. Both of them have very effective suction cups and will hang from a wall for days. I know that bit of information is not directly useful but I felt it was worth mentioning.

The lube is very thin but did not dry up too quickly during intercourse and seemed to work pretty well for Mimi on the dongs. We haven’t yet used the toy cleaner, so I can’t speak to how well it works.

I can’t imagine what the purpose of including a blindfold with this product could possibly be. In fact, it seems a little dangerous to me. You strap the pad to a chair, put the blindfold on, and then sexily stub your toe. Awesome.

As far as the product in use…it did not look like Mimi enjoyed it a great deal, but I’ll let her tell you about that.

It is someone’s job to design the labels of these. Think about that.

Mimi

The Shower Smoothy Dong and the Lifelike Dong that came with the Please Pad butchered any fantasy I had about this toy being sexually satisfying. It’s not because the Lifelike Dong is blue or that they’re both floppy rubber, although the material itself helped. They killed it because they smell like offensively cheap floral soap mixed with latex. Can you imagine wanting to put that inside your body?

And I don’t mean a faint smell that you only notice if you press your nose against the toy. Our bathroom, where the toys currently live, smells like those Dongs. It’s a hell of a time to run out of incense, let me tell you.

The pad itself is easy to install and clean, especially if you have a standing shower or if you’re so accustomed to washing items by hand that you could do it in your sleep. If you don’t have space to let it dry out conveniently (and discreetly), that may be reason enough not to purchase this item. There would be no mistaking what this is on a clothes line.

The suction cups, although amusing to childish hooligans like us (see photo of Dong stuck to bathroom mirror), are actually practical – they help keep the Dongs in place while you’re using them. If you can get into the Pleasure Pad, you definitely don’t want it moving on you.

Due to this simplistic design approach, I can see why someone might really enjoy the Pleasure Pad. Sure, when I was a little girl, I used to love straddling the arm of chairs, then rocking back and forth. I get the idea. But I still didn’t like this toy. Aside from having to surpass a psychological hurdle against putting a foul smelling object inside my body, the Pleasure Pad mostly felt awkward and inefficient.

We joked almost the whole time, first about the totally arbitrary “free” black eye mask, then about the positions I had to assume just for the Lifelike Dong to hit my g-spot. The Lifelike Dong is not really firm enough, and that combined with humping a wooden stool/piano bench/chair (i.e., something hard) equates to fairly high percentage of frustration. The Shower Smoothy Dong felt a little more than decent in my butt…

I guess that’s representative of my whole point, though. The Pleasure Pad is remarkably, amazingly okay. At best. Really it just made me want to attack Joseph and get it done proper. So the Pleasure Pad did create a memorable experience between myself and my fiancé, but not in the way intended.

It is hard to come up with picture ideas for every product, ok? Get off our back!

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Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Mimi

The Hitachi Magic Wand (referred to from now on as Hitachi) is not, I repeat, not an attractive sex toy. It looks like something you find in a box under your grandma’s bed after she has died, mildly discolored and thinly covered with dust, leaving you to ask yourself a million times, “Did I touch it?” It’s big (head is 2-1/2” diameter), long (12”), has a cord, and the coloration is reminiscent of terms like “gynecologist” and “PTA”.

You get the point. No offence moms out there who love having orgasms and going to PTA meetings, but I think we can agree those two subjects don’t exactly go hand-in-hand at the same time.

If my ex-boyfriend hadn’t purchased it for me as a gift a little over two years ago, I probably would not have ever experienced this vibrator. Although it’s cheaper than a lot of other electric vibrators on the market at $54, it’s just not as sleek and sexy and would therefore be passed up. It’s not the toy you want to brag to your girlfriends about. It’s not the toy you want to whip out of the drawer and use with your new boyfriend.

All of that said, I love my Hitachi.

Yes, it’s intense. It only has two settings – high and higher. For some women, this might be a real problem because it can be painful or distracting. Just like any other sex toy, you have to figure out how to make it work for you. I don’t ever use the Hitachi directly on my clit but rather above it or below it, and I rarely ever use the higher setting. (Or the Desperation setting, as I affectionately think of it.) I still have really intense orgasms, especially with a g-spot stimulating dildo like my Fun Wand.

(Together, it’s Magic Fun. Get it?)

At first the cord is really a turn off, but unless you’re ridiculously clumsy and/or lacking a sense of humor, the cord is never going to be a significant concern. When your other vibrator’s batteries are dead and you somehow managed to forget to buy more, your trusty plug-in Hitachi will be there. (True story. It happened to me.) Also, as I mentioned before, I’ve had this vibrator for over two years. Two years of frequent use, of my writhing and twisting and squeezing. R-e-l-i-a-b-l-e.

So how is it with a friend? Well, Joseph laughed quite a lot when he first saw my Hitachi, but jokes were quickly put aside once the relatively loud buzz of the Hitachi started, corresponding with moans and my thighs crushing the hand he naively entrusted to my nether regions. I’ve been crushing him ever since… so to speak.

It seems like the Hitachi is a vibrator that women either swear their life by or they can’t imagine why everyone else is so in love with it. I’ve heard both stories, I’m sticking to mine. I love it and when it someday dies on me, to hell with groceries for a couple weeks, my Hitachi will be replaced.

Joseph

When I saw the Hitachi Magic Wand in her toy chest for the first time I though “Holy fuck! How does she fit that inside of her and why does she want to continue having sex with humans if she likes that size?” How silly I was.

That was before I had any experience with sex toys. Obviously I was not familiar with the concept of a vibrator that does not go inside. Quickly I became well acquainted with the Hitachi and it’s proper usage.

It is my understanding that it is too powerful for most to use directly on the clitoris, it is much better suited for proximity stimulation. Placed above or below the clit, this thing vibrates a woman’s whole pelvis and sends Mimi screaming to heaven within a few minutes. Sturdy, wired, powerful, and ugly as hell, the Hitachi Magic Wand is the shotgun of vibrators. Just get close and it will do its job.

A sign of a great product is when you cannot think of life without it. The Hitachi has become of those products for us. It is more than just an accessory to Mimi. It is a regular part of her sex life. The intensity of the orgasms that she has while using the Hitachi are unparalleled (watch the video) and she requires the kind of stimulation that it provides in order to reach them.

From my perspective, it is an awesome part of our sex lives. It is approachable (since I got over my misconceptions) because of how ludicrous it looks and sounds, it does not require me to buy more batteries every few months, and most importantly, it makes it relatively easy for me to help her have earth (and eardrum) shattering orgasms. I just lend a finger (or two) to her G-spot and enjoy the show.

I’ve heard that female sex toys threaten some men. That’s just stupid. Sex toys are a way for people to find out specifically what they like and how they like it. Some things that sex toys do are physically impossible for a human to do. For example, I could never, ever stimulate a clitoris as quickly or as intensely as the Hitachi Magic Wand. It is just not possible. I know that some guys have a “I have to make her cum” complex, but mine is closer to a “she has to enjoy the experience” complex. Sometimes, for her to fully enjoy the experience (or cum, if you must) she needs stimulation at a rate that I cannot achieve, so I reach for the Hitachi. It is a tool, a means to an end, and it is bad ass at what it does.

It is portable… just like Zack Morris’s cell phone

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Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!