The Fairy Mini Mini provided for review by My Pleasure

Mimi

I’ve been using a Hitachi Magic Wand for a few years now and although I am completely satisfied with it, I recognize that it has weaknesses, for some women more than others. It’s very large. It’s loud. It has a plug-in chord which limits its portability. Oh, and it looks like something your grandmother’s grandmother used to get off. It’s a fucking dinosaur. For Halloween I jokingly suggested to a friend that he dress as the Hitachi and chase his girlfriend around their apartment. Despite my love and devotion to the Hitachi, I know it’s a daunting and sometimes frustrating piece of machinery.

The Fairy Mini Wand is clearly someone’s attempt to improve on the design of the Hitachi. Most of the description on the packaging is Japanese – in fact I was a bit confused as to what exactly is the name of the toy, “Fairy minimini” or just “Fairy”? – but the product is self-explanatory. The Fairy Mini Wand is 7 ¼” x 1 ¼” and comes with two options for power; an AC adapter as well as a battery pack that plugs in to the base of the wand. The battery pack takes six AA batteries and has a long cord to attach to the wand. While the battery pack does effectively make the wand portable, it certainly does not make it discrete. It sounds like a dental drill or a little jet pack made for cats and small dogs. It’s actually louder and more distinct than the Hitachi.

One difference, which I find to be a real bonus, is the dial used to control speed. Much more allowance for specified control. This goes along well with the small diameter of the vibrating end because the user can control the speed and pinpoint the spot that needs attention.
I prefer the broader coverage that the Hitachi offers. I’m not exactly sure why, but my orgasms are always more intense with the Hitachi than the Fairy Mini. And I don’t argue with my orgasms. When you go 21 years without having an orgasm, you welcome them happily. You burn incense and slaughter goats in their honor. If your orgasms need less of a Thor’s hammer approach, then the Fairy Mini Wand might be a perfect balance.

The Fairy Mini Wand that we were sent came with two attachments. One of them is intended to broaden its application and it fits nicely around my clitoris. The only problems I can see with it are that 1.) it looks like a baby alien and 2.) it’s really flexible and when combined with the flexible neck of the Fairy Mini there is not a whole lot of pressure. The second attachment looks like the baby alien’s older brother and it’s pretty useless. The part meant to stimulate my clitoris was a little too short and way too pointy to be appreciated. The part meant to stimulate me vaginally was… boring.

I like the Fairy Mini Wand just fine without its attachments. I can use it during sex easily and in the event that I want (or Joseph wants to) delay clitoral orgasm it works perfectly. And that’s not veiled criticism. Sometimes we really don’t want me to have an orgasm quickly so that there can be a more gradual, torturous build up toward orgasm. Or I need to give my g-spot a lot more attention so that I can squirt.

Basically, if you want to pick one – a Hitachi Magic Wand or a Fairy Mini Wand – it will probably depend more on your individuals needs than on one toy simply being better than another. Both are excellent vibrators.

Joseph

When unboxing the Fairy whateveritiscalled I had high hopes for failure.
The box is covered in mostly covered in Japanese and what little English there is doesn’t make a whole lot of sense: “Operate it easily with one hand. The size that the world minimum is compact.” (Mimi and I want that last part on a T-shirt.)

Hilariously bad translation alone does not mean a product will be low quality. However, the Fairy looks kinda cheap, the one that was sent to us has something audibly rolling around inside, and the attachments look…well…silly. So I thought that would be one of those products that is funny to use and fun to bash in the review. Then I turned it on.

The high pitched and high intensity buzz that this tiny thing produced changed my mind almost instantly. I got really excited and couldn’t wait for Mimi to try it. I sensed a throw down between the Hitachi and the Fairy coming on. I heard it all in my head:

Hitachi: “You stay away from Mimi’s vag!”

Fairy: “You tell Mimi’s vag to stay away from me! You think your fat ass
can compete with this?”

Hitachi: “You did not just call me fat! Come ‘ere you little bitch!”

From there it is just a cat fight mess of cord-pulling and name-calling.

Odd daydreams aside, I really thought this unlikely newcomer might give the Hitachi a run for its money once Mimi got to test it out. Now obviously (as you have already read) it did not take the Hitachi’s place in her heart, but it is certainly not a piece of junk like I originally thought. For women with different sensibilities than my lovely wife’s, it could easily be the champ.

One final note; the product’s name does appear to be the Fairy Mini Mini and it has two Minis because it is two sizes smaller than the original Fairy Massage Wand from Japan. I cannot find an example of the original but if this monster is the “mini” then I can see why there is a need for a Mini Mini.

The Naked Truth:

Intensity: 

Volume:

Aesthetic design:

Versatility:  (there are attachments available)

Ease of cleaning: 

Overall:  (if you live alone) (if you live with a non-partner)

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Divine Vibrator provided by Babeland

Joseph

The Divine Vibe by Doc. Johnson is somewhat less than divine. Or at least, that what it seems like from my perspective.

That’s the thing, my perspective, as one without a vagina is somewhat limited about things like g-spot stimulators and vibrators meant to be inserted into said non-existent vagina. Therefore, I’ll just break down the dimensions and logistics of this bad mama jama.

The Divine Vibe is an 8” x 1 ¾” variable speed vibrator that has a curvature intended to stimulate the G-spot internally. It is made of ABS (the same stuff as Lego blocks) plastic which is a durable and recyclable plastic made comprised of a mix of elastomer, rubber, and hard plastic. ABS will dissolve when exposed to acetone, so no harsh cleaners.

The vibe comes in two colors, “Yin and Yang” (read: Black and White to the non-marketing goon) and is packaged in a mostly clear plastic container that says “Harmony” for reasons we cannot discern.  It takes two AAA batteries which are not included and has a single button to control the speeds (low, medium, high). I feel kind of silly because it seems like I should be able to figure this out, but there is a symbol on the box and the bottom to the vibe that confuses me. It is a trashcan with a big X over it. I guess this means that this toy must not be thrown away…so….what should you do with it when you are finished getting in sync with your inner core? This? Really, click on that link. It is worth it.

As far as using it on someone, it is pretty easy on the hand. The big, bulbous base makes it very easy to grip and maneuver and the ABS keeps the temp nice and slightly cool.

Because if you don’t “close cap tightly” bad things could happen.

Mimi

Let me just start by saying that I have an odd relationship with g-spot vibrating toys. I tend to dislike them. (I’ll write more about this for our upcoming Lelo Gigi review.) Still, I am open to experimentation and Doc. Johnson’s Divine Vibe could be used in various other ways, so I decided to give it a try.

I received the Yin (black) Doc. Johnson’s Divine Vibe and after pressing the button down toward the battery compartment three times to feel the three different settings, I was pretty convinced that I might actually have a clitoral orgasm with this toy. The low and middle setting are worthy yet the highest setting is the one I used the most.

It didn’t happen. I tried on several occasions, and although it felt good, it didn’t feel close to good enough. I ended up pulling out my Hitachi every time.

We decided that Joseph should use it on me while I use the Hitachi to see how it feels inside me as well as handled by another person.

That was a whole lot of vibrating.

Due to the width and shape of the Divine Vibe, I felt rather “full” while it was inside me. Eventually I had a clitoral orgasm, which felt good. It was a slow burn.

Then I went to wash the Divine Vibe and realized there is a tiny crevice between the “head” of the vibrator and those three ridges in the center. This tiny crevice is a collector, and it is hard to clean. At least it’s waterproof and you can submerge and scrub to your heart’s content. Maybe you don’t care about something as tiny as that crevice.

Maybe you should go masturbate with some Legos then. At least you could build cool shit afterwards.

As I mentioned, it is waterproof and it functions really well as a vibrator that lives in the bathroom and is used on my clit occasionally in the shower as a warm-up. And it does feel great in that capacity. It teases while stimulating because you need more, and that’s where other toys or partners come in. Hopefully.

Divine? More like Pretty Good to Have Around.

The Naked Truth:

Intensity:

Volume:

Aesthetic design:

Versatility:

Ease of cleaning:

Overall:

Jesus: Yo, B! Who the hell is this lumpy fool?

Buddha: I dunno, but he a jive-ass sucka!

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

The Tantus Stroker provided by Tabu Toys

Mimi

As you can probably gather from the name, the Stroker is “100 % Ultra-Premium Silicone”, and it is indeed an implement used to stroke your own or someone else’s penis. I’m not sure exactly what makes a silicone product ultra-premium, but I like the consequences. The Stroker is hypoallergenic, odorless, tasteless, and phthalate free. You can completely clean and sanitize the Stroker by boiling it for 10-15 minutes or putting it in the top rack of your dishwasher. Simple and worry free.

The Stroker is 4-1/2” long and without being stretched it’s about 1-3/4” at its widest and 3 / 4” at the ridges. It does have some elasticity, although it doesn’t appear to have a whole lot. The ridges, meant to mimic vaginal contractions, are really smooth (I enjoy touching this toy) yet could be potentially uncomfortable. They are really prominent and rigid.

It comes in white, which is normally rather unappealing to me in sex toys, but Tantus has used it in such a way that it actually offers a touch of class. The Stroker is not one of those male masturbation toys that you cannot stop laughing about long enough to use it. It looks very clean, purposefully designed, and contemporary.

Joseph

This is the first sex toy from Tantus that we’ve had the privilege of testing. We’ve consistently heard and read great things about Tantus brand dildos. Other reviewers rave about the Acute, a lot.

With that mindset about the company, I was really excited when this toy arrived. I really wanted to like it. Really badly. So badly that when I initially hated it, I just assumed that I was doing something wrong because Tantus and its Stroker were obviously above suspicion.

On a mission to prove me and my stupid nerve endings wrong, I ask the internet about the Tantus Stroker. The internet answered with a resounding “Meh.” The responses ranged from “really painful” to “just ok”. I could only find a single review of this product that was favorable and that was from a suspiciously sycophantic source that I don’t trust.

Unfortunately it seems that my first impressions of the Tantus Stroker reflect that of many men; for a toy that is designed to “simulate vaginal contractions”, this thing hurts.

The internal ribs are too stiff and end up pummeling my penis as it goes in and out of the Stroker. The ridges are so tight and hard that they end up acting as squeegees that funnel all of the lube to the top and bottom of the Stroker. That adds chaffing to the previous pummeling. I was not pleased.

If that weren’t bad enough, it makes a really silly noise while in use. Please see video for example.

I have read that Tantus intended this toy to be “for men who love the tight feel” (they weren’t kidding!) and that they have released an XL version. This is a step forward, but I would not know to buy the XL. My cock is certainly not XL and I would think that I needed to purchase a sleeve accordingly.

I have not lost my faith in Tantus as a company and look forward to trying their next product but I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I will <i>never</i> put my penis in the Stroker again.

P.S.
It is tasteless as advertised. I licked it to be sure.

The Naked Truth:

Intensity:

Volume:

Aesthetic design: (it looks good for a sleeve)

Versatility:

Ease of cleaning:

Overall:

That’s right, Mimi drew an angry penis.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!