Flexi Felix provided for us by Babeland

Joseph

The cute, 100% silicone caterpillar toy is by far the most comfortable thing that I have ever inserted into my anus. Granted, it is the only thing I have ever inserted into my anus but after having a look at some of the other toys on the market, I know the Flexi Felix made the process much easier than it could have been.

I had an understandable amount of anxiety about crossing that puckered line. There are all kinds of things for a heterosexual male in American society to worry about when considering anal play that is anything other than straight male on female. Stigmas abound. Our society does not encourage sexual acts that put men in an exposed or subordinate position. Men’s sexuality is about power and control. This message is constantly reinforced in both direct and indirect ways. I think that may be part of America’s problem with male homosexuality.

Ok, I’m done ranting about our society’s fucked up standards about sex. Perhaps one day we’ll make a whole post about it but for now, back to the Felix.

The Flexi Felix is a 12” (10” insertable length) set of anal beads manufactured by Fun Factory. It is 100% silky soft silicone and has a head with a smirking caterpillar face at its base. It is cute but not cutesy. It is by far the most approachable thing designed to go in one’s ass that I have ever seen.

Insertion was easy and comfortable with the exception of the stem in between the beads being a little too thin to get a good grip on. Fully inserted it is unobtrusive…almost to a fault. I couldn’t really feel it, which seems to defeat the purpose. It would, however make it easy to wear in all day which I could see as having some “I’m so naughty” appeal.

Removal during orgasm was not an altogether pleasant experience for me, but I don’t blame the product for that. I blame my inexperience with anal play. It is still a strange and kind of uncomfortable feeling and that prevents me from fully enjoying it.

Cleaning the Felix is really simple. Just drop it in a pot of boiling water for 10 to 15 minutes and you’re good to go.

As a genuine beginner, I cannot give this product a better endorsement. It is easy, approachable, and it has a good attitude!

Would you be smirking if you had Felix’s job?

Mimi

The Flexi Felix is my first anal bead type toy and with its 3/4″ to 1″ diameter beads, it’s very approachable for first-timers. Even if you’re entirely new to anal play, the Flexi Felix is as friendly to your ass as it looks. And it does look friendly, doesn’t it? Such a cute specimen of anal love. Offered in bright pink, light blue, and black silicone, the updated stylishness of the Flexi Felix adds to its approachability and ease of use. You just know when you’re holding it in your hands that this isn’t just another sketchy looking “string” of beads that you have to entrust to your tender and questionable anal orifice. Oh no. This is better, much better.

The silicone is incredibly smooth and relatively easy to insert, given how flexible it is (they don’t call it “Flexi” for nothin’), so you can play alone or with a partner without much – if any – discomfort or bent over frustration. Really. I had the whole strand in, tucked the caterpillar head under my panties, zipped up my shorts, washed my hands, and came back out into the living room within just a few minutes. You won’t even need to pause your movie, or worry about your tea getting cold.

Left in for a few hours, Flexi Felix feels pretty good. It creates a whole other meaning in my mind to the phrase, “dirty little secret”. And I am certainly a girl who likes her secrets. However, it is the experience of this reviewer that the Flexi Felix is hands down at its absolute best when pulled out during orgasm. This toy is perfect when you want a little extra OMFG without a whole lot of effort, time, or lube.

As you can imagine, this “easy as cake” quality can become rather… boring. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate “easy” when I come across it, which is why I still enjoy the Flexi Felix and will happily let it occupy a space in my toy box. Still, I will always favor a more versatile toy over a one hit wonder. It’s just my nature. If you function similarly, you might want to shop around a bit. (I know that Babeland in particular offers some other anal toys that are challenging/fun/practical.)

And to top it all off, the Flexi Felix is that, since it is silicone, you can disinfect it by boiling it for 10-15 minutes, putting it in the top rack of your dishwasher, or with soap and water. (I prefer boiling.) Remember to use a water-based lubricant with this toy. It will last you a long time if you take care of it.

Unwinding after a long day of putting up with other people’s shit.

The Naked Truth:

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Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Succulent Blossom provided by Babeland

Joseph

Oh my. Where to start?

I guess I’ll start with the packaging. It is quite a thing in and of itself. It is cramped with silly, inappropriate phrases, poorly made logos, an obligatory naked woman, a picture of the product, and an inexplicable bubble with the word “earth” in it. I can’t imagine why. Perhaps the manufacturer thinks that making a phthalate free product is the same thing as making an environmentally friendly product. It is not. My two favorite idiotic sayings on the package before I move on: “The personal choice of wicked girls” (because wicked girls just love wrapping things around their cocks…) and “Ultra-erotic deep penetrating ribbed tunnel made of luxurious senso material” …what does ultra-erotic even mean and how is a tunnel deep penetrating?

Ok, enough about the package—let’s move on to the main event.

This is a masturbation sleeve….shaped like a flower…and it is neon blue. How does masturbation and a neon flower go together, you may ask. Well, I’ll let an intellect much greater than mine explain.

“Mmmmmmm, I love the sound of that. Sssssucculent. And of course Blossum…that’s a metaphor you know and I bet you can guess what for!Just imagine what part of me that sounds like. Bingo Now what do you want to do?” – Devinn Lane

Straight off of the side of the box.

This blue flower to stick your dick in is 4”/10cm long and has “8 teasing petals” around the base. What the petals are teasing is unclear to me. My experience with it is that it is unusable without lube. With lube, the inner ribbing feels rather nice going up and down, but not significantly better than just my hand and not nice enough to justify putting my wang in this ridiculous thing. The length is also a problem for me. The head of my penis chafes uncomfortably as the sleeve slides on and off. To be fair, my skin is pretty sensitive. For someone that doesn’t have a pussy dick (heh), this may be fun. I can stretch the sleeve to be long enough, but frankly, it is not worth it.

Other reviews (Babeland and True Pleasures) say that it is good for use in tandem with a mouth. If you have a problem with fellatio, be it because your man’s penis is too big to fit all way in your mouth/throat or that your jaw muscles cannot take a full blowjob, the idea is that you slip on the sleeve and use it to stimulate the shaft while you lick the lollipop.

We didn’t try that because I think Mimi would bust out laughing if we tried. I can’t blame her. (We are also lacking a lube that feels AND tastes good.)

My recommendation for this product is don’t waste your money. If you want a little manual exercise, just use your hand.

Looks like a good time, yeah?

Mimi

There are a few aspects of the Succulent Blossom sleeve that right away make it more humorous than erotically arousing, mostly for the reasons Joseph already mentioned. The immature brat in me wants to throw this floppy jelly tube out of a window at some unsuspecting jogger from a slow moving vehicle.

Okay, I am being unfair. I can see why, for some people, the Succulent Blossom is a really great toy. Joseph told me that it felt good, aside from irritating his sensitive skin. Plus, some people are less prone to fits of laughter at the prospect of using ridiculous looking toys.

Whenever I talked to Joseph about how we might try it, no matter what reason or suggestion I had, the bottom line, in his mind, was always, “it’s not worth it”. In fact, at one point yesterday I suggested that in preparation for our review that we use it in the shower, and he opted to clean the fish tank instead.

Yes, he cleaned the tank of our nasty fish instead of masturbating with the Succulent Blossom (and me) in the shower.

I’m sure that there are good masturbation sleeves out there for men, which may be worth the money and out rank Old Reliable (your hand), but the Succulent Blossom isn’t one of them.

The Naked Truth:

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Volume: (squish squish squish)

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Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

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Under the Bed Restraint System provided by Babeland

Mimi

Sportsheets’ Under the Bed Restraint System is difficult to write about because it’s a simple design that functions exactly as it appears on the packaging. Four cuffs are attached to four 60-inch restraint straps, connected together by a 60-inch strap that goes underneath your mattress length-wise. The cuffs have velco enclosures and the straps can be adjusted to offer the non-restrained person more control over the restrained person’s position.

I’m using these terms instead of ‘Master’, ‘Domme’, or ‘sub’ because although I think this is an excellent product, it’s probably not particularly thrilling for individuals that are more demanding of their bondage scenes. The fact that the non-restrained person can free his/herself has both positive and negative implications – 1.) it can help build trust and comfort for individuals unfamiliar with bondage and 2.) it can disrupt the true feeling of being at the “mercy” of another person. And as I’m hoping you are aware, a lot of what happens with bondage is mental. So it’s kind of a casual, beginner, or mostly-vanilla-but-trying-some-kink toy.

However, with some other toys and some creativity there is room for expansion, which is something that will always earn a toy some gold stars in my book. For example, if the cuffs start to bother you because of how soft they feel or because they don’t lock, you can purchase harder, more bad ass, locking cuffs to replace the old cuffs. Or you could use the Restraint System as a base for more extensive bondage play. Last night he used the cuffs at the head of our bed to restrain my feet so I was vag and ass out exposed, and in a brief moment of distracted thought, I considered the myriad of ways that I could be tortured and tormented, or how my arms could possibly be tied to my legs or my chest. Throw in some rope, a paddle, an ice cube, or butt plug and you are golden. So many possibilities.

That’s really the beauty of this product. It’s simplistic, a common denominator from which you can fine tune your own brand of kink. And shouldn’t that be the point?

Joseph

I have no background in BDSM of any kind. I didn’t even really know what the letters stood for until recently and I still forget sometimes. Since I’ve been with Mimi, I have been ever so slowly exploring the world of rope, blindfolds, nipple clamps, and the blurring of the fine line between pleasure and pain.

I think that my level of experience with bondage is exactly right for this product. Don’t get me wrong, this is a bondage product; it is just one that is best for light bondage or people that are new to it, not entirely comfortable with heavier bondage play, or just want to feel kinky without the heightened level of trust and inherent danger that comes with some BDSM acts.

Sportsheets’ Under the Bed Restraint System is the very definition of straight forward. I mean, look at what they called it. There is no question about what this product is or does. It is a restraint system. That goes under the bed.

Unlike the Astrea II and communism, this is a very simple concept that functions beautifully in reality. I was able to install (read: put under the mattress) in less than five minutes and can restrain her at any time in a matter of seconds because it is always there. Although we don’t care to bother with concealing it, if one chooses, it is also very easy to keep out of sight but within reach. The straps and cuffs can just tuck away behind the headboard and your comforter can cover the ones at the bottom.

The cuffs are attached to the straps with clips that can be opened and moved with ease. This is nice because you can clip the cuffs together to restrain your playmate off the bed, and then reattach the cuffs to the straps when it is time to move into the bedroom.

My only reservation about wholeheartedly endorsing this product is the packaging. All of Sportsheets’ packaging and marketing materials that I’ve seen are exactly the kind of air-brushed, over stylized, scantily clad model propaganda that bothers me about the adult industry.

With that said, all and all, this is a brilliantly executed product. It is simple, well designed and versatile.

“Excuse me, your kink is showing.”

The Naked Truth:

Intensity: N/A

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Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!