Sex in the Shower Suction Hand Cuffs provided by Vibrator.com

Joseph

The hand cuffs are one of the more simply designed products that we’ve reviewed. But that doesn’t keep them from being great!

Essentially they are soft Velcro cuffs attached to heavy duty suction cups. Sex in the Shower is a division of Sportsheets so for anyone that has tried the Under the Bed Restraint System, these cuffs will feel very familiar. Soft but not padded and firm but not uncomfortable, the cuffs are just right for feeling confined without getting hurt. Depending on how you feel about power play, that can be good or bad.

The suction cups are extremely powerful and will stay on the wall through the roughest of play. They do, however slide around a little bit. Not enough that it was a problem for us, but if one of your vibrators makes you squirm, you may find it annoying.

The beautiful thing about a product like this is that the possible uses for it are nearly limitless. The cuffs are independent of one another and will stick to almost any flat surface. For the bath of course, but also car windows, desktops, mirrors, etc…

Don’t worry, her head is above water. At this moment…

Mimi

Handcuffs!

I had mixed feelings about this product. Sure, I love my Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System, but I’m skeptical of suction cups being able to handle rough, raucous, raunchy sex. Maybe it’s because the suction cup (not) holding my razor in place is a piece of shit that falls off the wall all the time.

Not the case here! We really tugged hard on them and they stayed stuck to the wall. Standing or bathing, they are quite useful for some bondage play. And the bound individual/slave/submissive/etc. can fairly easily let his or herself out, so there’s not really any risk of drowning. (Heh. For some of you, that might be a turn-off.)

There isn’t really much more to say. Like the Under the Bed Restraint System, it’s a very simple product that performs exactly the way it’s meant to perform. Hurray for effective design!

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: 4 out of 5 stars

Functionality: 5 out of 5 stars

Craftsmanship: 5 out of 5 stars

Ease of Installation: 5 out of 5 stars

Discretion: 5 out of 5 stars

Safety 5 out of 5 stars

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Basic breathe-easy ball gag provided for review by Eden Fantasys

Joseph

This is my first experience with a manufactured gag. I mean, I can’t say that it is my first experience with a gag because arguably anything that can be crammed in a mouth is a gag and I’ve had so many things crammed in my mouth….you don’t even know.

As first experiences go, it was a pretty great one. I opened this product up and popped it in my mouth right out of the bag (lets hope the person that put it in there washed their hands) because I wanted to see if it really was easy to breathe through. It is! Though after some heavy breathing it gets a bit…slobbery but as anyone that has every played a wind instrument knows, there is really no way around that.

Because the ball is made from 100% silicone, it is really easy to clean and phthalates free which are both great things. If you can’t tell from the pictures, the nylon straps are held onto the side of the ball via metal snaps and there is an adjustable clasp closure. The ball itself is 2” long by 1 ¾” wide with 1 ¼” insertable length. For reference…it is slightly larger than a ping pong ball.

The clasp is the only thing about this product that I don’t like. It has to be threaded each time the gag is put on which makes it very easily (unavoidably) adjustable, but can be somewhat annoying and cumbersome. My thinking is that the only reason one would need an enclosure type that needs to be adjusted every single time is if you are with several different partners quite frequently. For someone using it on the same person most of the time, it seems like a clasp like on a bike helmet or Timbuk 2 messenger bag would be easier to manage. You’d have to adjust it once and then you could just clip it shut.

You're a bad girl, shut u-oh..hold on...effing strap...damn it...THERE. Shit.

That is a relatively small complaint though. This is still a very well made and easy to use product.

Mimi

I have used cloth for gags in the past, but generally the consensus amongst myself and lovers has been to let me have free use of my mouth. It may have something to do with how much I enjoy kissing and biting, or my propensity for being loud and saying barely coherent things (can you say, “ego boost”?). I don’t know, and I don’t really care. However, I do enjoy having things put into my mouth – forcefully (though consensual) or not – and I have long wanted to try a ball gag.

So why has it taken this long to get my hands on one? No, it’s not because I’m a starving artist in training. It’s because I have problems with my jaw, which can make chewing, blowing dick, or dentist visits painful. I do all of these things anyway, so of course trying out a ball gag was an option, it was just a matter of finding the right one to start with. My poor, spoiled little bitch mouth needs to take a baby step, not a leap.

And baby step we did! The Basic Breathe-Easy ball gag is not very large, comfortable, and easy to use. Oh, and it doesn’t smell or taste bad. It’ll stay that way provided that you clean it properly, which should be easy peasy because the gag itself is silicone. If you’ve been reading our reviews, you know that silicone is amazingly easy to clean – boil it for about 10 minutes or put it in your dishwasher’s top rack without soap. As for the nylon, metal, and plastic straps that you may get saliva on, wash with with soap and hot water in the sink. No big deal.

The reason I’m telling you all of this personal information is because I’d like you to understand that if you’re coming from a similar perspective, for whatever reason, then this ball gag is probably your perfect gateway gag. Beginners, mild BDSM-ers, TMJ-ers, and those with sensitive gag reflexes or prone to colds and congestion. No excuses! Gag yourself before I harmless internet threat all over you! Raawwwwwww!!!!

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: 4 out of 5 stars

Functionality: 5 out of 5 stars

Craftsmanship: 5 out of 5 stars

Ease of Installation: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Discretion: N/A

Safety: 5 out of 5 stars

Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Also, you can be a clown. Everybody loves clowns. Like John Wayne Gacy, Jr.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

Rough Sex is composed of five scenes that are presented as the female performer’s real life fantasies. Adrianna Nicole and Marco Banderas act out a breaking and entering scene, Satine Phoenix plays a stranded motorist at the mercy of good samaritan Derrick Pierce, Francesca Le forces Christian to pay more attention to her – with a flogger, Marie Luv gets caught in a lie by Julius Ceazher and has to pay the price, and Sasha Grey….just fucks Danny Wylde. Each scene starts off with both performers explaining what the performers like about rough sex, what the term means to each of them, and (for the females) what the fantasy involves.

This film certainly lives up to its title. There is plenty of slapping, spitting, hair pulling, choking, and manhandling. Over the course of our relationship, Mimi and I have been discovering and pushing our sexual boundaries. Spanking, hair pulling and aggressive sex are becoming more and more common between us. We are still tender with one another when it feels right, but we also have the outlet of very aggressive, passionate sex in our repertoire. Because I have come to enjoy rough sex so much, I expected to enjoy the depictions in Rough Sex quite a lot.

I was pleased to hear the performers speak to their likes and dislikes and describe why they chose the specific partner that they did to help them make their fantasies come true. There were only a few moments within the actual sex that I found appealing, though. For the most part, this felt like just another porn movie to me. The people looked like freakish sex mannequins, the sex acts were sterilized of all emotion and the god awful porn noises were ubiquitous. The editing choices cut out almost all of the transitions and all of the safe sex practices.

Speaking of safe sex, there was a DVD extra that went over the importance of safer sex and that is the only place that it is mentioned or acknowledged as important. I understand that the idea is to portray a fantasy and that realistic depictions of anal warm up or condom or dental dam usage would interfere with that suspension of disbelief. However, the sad truth in America (thanks in large part to Abstinence Only education) is that a lot of people get most if not all of their ideas of what sex should be from the media, porn included. It seems like there must be some sort of acceptable middle ground.

I’ve made my opinions on mainstream porn pretty clear before and maybe that takes some of my credibility away but I was not excited by this film.

Mimi

I really wanted to love Rough Sex because I happen to enjoy slapping, biting, scratching, manhandling, and the like – both as the one doing and receiving. I also have a great deal of respect for Tristan Taormino. It seemed like a match made in pornographic heaven.

As you can probably tell already, that was not the case.

Satine and Derrick Pierce’s “stranded” fantasy scene and Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde’s switch scene were the most arousing and dynamic to me. Perhaps that has something to do with the roughness and power play in those scenes appearing much more natural and pleasurable to both individuals. (I have a stranded fantasy, too, which may contribute.) The connection between Satine and Derrick is continuous, and it helped me believe that domination. When she mouthed “thank you” as she lay on the ground with his cum on her bare chest, I thought, “Now that’s something I can relate to.” As Sasha and Danny exchange power and react to situations within the scene, their lusty playfulness is, again, something that feels palpable to me. I’m not interested in pure fantasy. Just as these five women are orchestrating their fantasies into reality, I’m interested in where fantasy meets our imperfect physicality.

This is why I take similar issue to Rough Sex as Joseph. I won’t bother repeating what he has said, for obvious reasons, but I want to be clear that I definitely agree with his points about the overall sterilization that occurs in this film. Like I said, I really respect Taormino and I think she has done a lot to bring subjects like anal sex, nonmonogamy, and rough sex to new audiences, but surely a balance can be created.

Technically speaking, this is a well made porn about rough sex, specifically women fulfilling their fantasies. If you don’t have similar stipulations as us when it comes to porn, you may love Rough Sex. I have to settle for only liking it.

Rough Sex? Check.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Crashpadseries.com Volume 3 provided by Blowfish

Joseph

In case you don’t know, The Crash Pad Series is based upon Shine Louise Houston’s 2006 debut film of the same name. The crash pad is a place where dykes and femmes alike can go to have uninhibited sex. Unfortunately I have not seen the The Crash Pad itself, but if it is anything like the series based on it, it is HOT.

The DVD that Blowfish sent us is a collection of episodes from the website. From the looks of it, that’s how these collections are offered; four or five episodes per DVD. Volume three features some performers that are quickly becoming favorites of mine: Dallas, Shawn (Syd Blakovich), Dylan Ryan, Princess Donna, Jake, Lorelei Lee, Billy Jack Gunn, Paul Gunn, Red, and Javier.

If you’ve been reading the site or following Houston’s work, you’ll recognize several of those names. Houston has a tendency to use familiar performers (I don’t really feel comfortable calling them actors because they are not acting in even the traditional porn sense. The people in Houston’s films are not pretending to have hot, enjoyable sex – they are) in her productions, which is fine since she has such stellar performers.

This particular installation of the Crash Pad Series involves deep throating, squirting, the fabulous Hitachi Magic Wand, and lots of authentic queer sex. I don’t have any complaints about this collection. None. I personally was not turned on by the scene between “cousins” Billy Jack Gunn and Paul Gunn because my sexual tendencies are unwaveringly hetero and those two look too much like biological men to do anything for me.

The particular copy that was sent to us has some issues with the sound being out of sync in a couple of spots. It was minimal in the beginning but by the last scene (Red and Javier) it was completely incongruous. I sent Blowfish and email to see if this was an artistic choice of Houston’s that I didn’t get or a simple defect but at the time of this writing, I have received no response.

If you don’t want to wait for a DVD to be shipped to you just go to http://www.crashpadseries.com where you can view any of the episodes (there are more online than offered on the individual DVDs.

Mimi

I have a lot of respect for Shine Louise Houston’s work so when it came time to watch CrashPadSeries.com Volume 3, I was really excited and my expectations were high, which is a pleasant shift from the usual. (I’m not a huge fan of porn, which is often boring, stifling regurgitations of sexuality and beauty to me. At best, it’s a good laugh.) I was not disappointed. I enjoyed every scene of this DVD, which I have not been able to say about any other porn thus far.

Whoa shit.
Whoa shit, indeed.

In episode 16, Dylan Ryan enters the crash pad, but instead of trying to join Dallas and Shawn, she hides nearby. While Shawn ties Dallas up to a chair, sucks Dallas’ strap-on cock, and then proceeds to fuck herself silly, Dylan Ryan is sneaking glances, biting her lip, obviously aroused. Eventually Shawn and Dallas move to the bed and continue to pleasure themselves and each other. I really enjoyed the chemistry between these two. They appeared to have a lot of fun.

In episode 17, Dylan Ryan comes out of hiding after Shawn and Dallas leave. She throws herself down on the bed, smiling and burying her face into the vibrant red pillows and sheets. Watching her writhe and inhale the scent of Shawn and Dallas’ sexual encounter is really arousing, perhaps even more so than when she actually strips and masturbates. It may be more of a personal thing than anything else, but entering the mindset of the voyeur, entering the fantasy of unknown bodies and personalities – the way she pulled the sheet between her legs, thrust her hips toward the bed, inhaled deeply, and smiled so big – is a huge turn-on.

That’s what I need. Honest arousal. Honest reaction.

Joseph didn’t seem to enjoy Episode 15 with Billy Jack and Paul quite as much, for reasons rather obvious, and we ended up talking more throughout its duration. We talked a lot about gender identification, bisexuality, pansexuality, and considered our relative ignorance when it comes to various lifestyles. For example, I trip over terminology quite a lot because I want to be respectful. It’s hard when everyone has personal preferences that may not be clear. Houston’s porn films are especially challenging, and I think she would probably smile if she heard me say so.

Despite the distraction of our talk, I found this scene just as arousing as the others. Aside from a little initial awkwardness, both performers seemed to forget that a camera was even there. They just did their thing and their thing was hot. (Also, how great is it that Paul Gunn has a “pussyboy” tattoo?)

In episode 21, Lorelei Lee enters the crash pad to find Donna and Jake ready to fuck, and she’s not so sure at first, but quickly convinced! (If only I had the powers of persuasion that Donna has…) This part of the scene was really annoying because the sound was a bit off; however, the three of them really made up for it. Lorelei Lee, god bless her, didn’t make constant obnoxious goat noises like she did in Superfreak. Jake was quiet, reserved, and yet really involved in significant ways. Donna, of course, dominated most of the actions in the scene. All three of them seemed really into it (when Lorelei Lee and Donna are making prolonged eye contact later in the scene, it’s pretty intense), yet joked and laughed occasionally.

Last but not least, episode 19 with Red and Javier was, sadly, hard to watch because of the sound disturbances. And you can watch it muted, like we did, but…. it’s not the same. Red and Javier are really sexy performers – I liked watching them even without sound. Red can wear a strap-on and bend me over anytime she’d like.

As always with Houston’s films, she places emphasis on safer sex practices, which I find really appealing in porn. Also, despite the reoccurrence of performers, there’s something really “fresh” about their presence. Perhaps it’s the scenery, the camera angles, the tone, the personal interactions between performers. You just know that it’s going to be sexy and authentic, yet light-hearted and fun. Perfect.

The Naked Truth:

Aesthetics: 5 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Storyline: 3 out of 5 stars

Overall: 5 out of 5 stars

There is no Crash Pad where we live, but we do have a shed…

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

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Under the Bed Restraint System provided by Babeland

Mimi

Sportsheets’ Under the Bed Restraint System is difficult to write about because it’s a simple design that functions exactly as it appears on the packaging. Four cuffs are attached to four 60-inch restraint straps, connected together by a 60-inch strap that goes underneath your mattress length-wise. The cuffs have velco enclosures and the straps can be adjusted to offer the non-restrained person more control over the restrained person’s position.

I’m using these terms instead of ‘Master’, ‘Domme’, or ‘sub’ because although I think this is an excellent product, it’s probably not particularly thrilling for individuals that are more demanding of their bondage scenes. The fact that the non-restrained person can free his/herself has both positive and negative implications – 1.) it can help build trust and comfort for individuals unfamiliar with bondage and 2.) it can disrupt the true feeling of being at the “mercy” of another person. And as I’m hoping you are aware, a lot of what happens with bondage is mental. So it’s kind of a casual, beginner, or mostly-vanilla-but-trying-some-kink toy.

However, with some other toys and some creativity there is room for expansion, which is something that will always earn a toy some gold stars in my book. For example, if the cuffs start to bother you because of how soft they feel or because they don’t lock, you can purchase harder, more bad ass, locking cuffs to replace the old cuffs. Or you could use the Restraint System as a base for more extensive bondage play. Last night he used the cuffs at the head of our bed to restrain my feet so I was vag and ass out exposed, and in a brief moment of distracted thought, I considered the myriad of ways that I could be tortured and tormented, or how my arms could possibly be tied to my legs or my chest. Throw in some rope, a paddle, an ice cube, or butt plug and you are golden. So many possibilities.

That’s really the beauty of this product. It’s simplistic, a common denominator from which you can fine tune your own brand of kink. And shouldn’t that be the point?

Joseph

I have no background in BDSM of any kind. I didn’t even really know what the letters stood for until recently and I still forget sometimes. Since I’ve been with Mimi, I have been ever so slowly exploring the world of rope, blindfolds, nipple clamps, and the blurring of the fine line between pleasure and pain.

I think that my level of experience with bondage is exactly right for this product. Don’t get me wrong, this is a bondage product; it is just one that is best for light bondage or people that are new to it, not entirely comfortable with heavier bondage play, or just want to feel kinky without the heightened level of trust and inherent danger that comes with some BDSM acts.

Sportsheets’ Under the Bed Restraint System is the very definition of straight forward. I mean, look at what they called it. There is no question about what this product is or does. It is a restraint system. That goes under the bed.

Unlike the Astrea II and communism, this is a very simple concept that functions beautifully in reality. I was able to install (read: put under the mattress) in less than five minutes and can restrain her at any time in a matter of seconds because it is always there. Although we don’t care to bother with concealing it, if one chooses, it is also very easy to keep out of sight but within reach. The straps and cuffs can just tuck away behind the headboard and your comforter can cover the ones at the bottom.

The cuffs are attached to the straps with clips that can be opened and moved with ease. This is nice because you can clip the cuffs together to restrain your playmate off the bed, and then reattach the cuffs to the straps when it is time to move into the bedroom.

My only reservation about wholeheartedly endorsing this product is the packaging. All of Sportsheets’ packaging and marketing materials that I’ve seen are exactly the kind of air-brushed, over stylized, scantily clad model propaganda that bothers me about the adult industry.

With that said, all and all, this is a brilliantly executed product. It is simple, well designed and versatile.

“Excuse me, your kink is showing.”

The Naked Truth:

Intensity: N/A

Volume: N/A

Design: 5 out of 5 stars

Versatility: 5 out of 5 stars

Ease of cleaning: 5 out of 5 stars

Overall: 5 out of 5 stars

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Provided by our generous friends at Babeland

Mimi

My partner and I have wanted to try a sex toy like the Astrea II: Remote Vibrating Thong for a long time, for probably the usual reasons people want to use such toys: an interest in discreet public play, control dynamics, and the plain ol’ glory that is a vibrator. We were pretty excited when the package arrived, even though the diamond shaped purple box looks like it could equally house a product for yeast infection or bikini hair removal. A little too Lifetime, for me, but it could be a lot worse. They were obviously trying to make it tasteful, for which a little bit of credit is deserved.

A consideration for tastefulness is also apparent in the thong itself – sexy and comfortable, despite a big honkin’ piece of vibrating plastic that is strangely reminiscent of the early menstruation days when I wore pads big enough to smuggle Haitian immigrants. After a while, the vibrator is… still ridiculous, but it feels less awkward and the peculiarity of the experience is overcome by the thrill of being in public, anticipating the moment when my partner turns it on.

The vibrator’s volume is barely audible, which is impressive given the intensity of the vibration. It’d be perfect – if I was in the right place. The little pocket meant to hold the vibrator in the thong is slightly too low for it to actually vibrate my clit. Maybe it’s not supposed to do that? Seems odd. If I was going to have a truly magnificent, possibly orgasmic outing with my partner, there would definitely be some stimulation of my clit involved. Instead, I spent most of the time joking with him about trying to adjust the way I was sitting or standing (hunched over) so that it would stimulate my clit more and my labia less.

It feels pretty decent and there is a lot of potential in this product; however, a significant design flaw is still enough to lead to disappointment. And I was.

Oh, and speaking of flaws – the thong will fit “most sizes” according to the box, but unless you purchase this toy from Babeland or some other self-respecting online source, you may not know that the thong only fits up to a 38” waist.

Joseph

The first one that Babeland shipped to us happened to be defective. While that was unfortunate and caused a delay in our testing of the product, these things are bound to happen, but Babeland quickly set it right, and in the end, it afforded us a very interesting insight into the product. But more on that later.

The Astrea II is one of many of California Exotic Novelties and the Berman Center’s offerings into the sex toy realm. The box makes me think of the word “Monistat” every time that I see it. I’m not sure of why this word comes to mind, and the association that implies is a bit odd too, but I can only chalk it up to my deep seated emotional problems or expert package design.

The product itself is a remarkably simple design and a great idea. Just like Communism. It is a relatively small vibrating square that is inserted into a pouch in the crotch of lace panties. The on/off functionality of the vibrator is controlled by a “compact wireless mini remote control” intended to be in the hands of your partner. That way you can play with power dynamics and radio waves at the same time!

Also like Communism, this device fails miserably in practice and application. One major flaw prevents this product from being worth while. It is in the wrong place for clitoral stimulation. Obviously I can’t comment on this firsthand, but I am told by Her that because of this flaw, the product does not do that much for her. And that doesn’t do anything for me.

The appeal for the person holding the superfluously large remote control (almost 4 inches) is being able to make the person wearing the vibe squirm and writhe with the flip of a switch. Ideally this could be done in situations that She would have to strive to control herself in. Instead, it made her giggle and jump a little the first few times I did it and then She barely responded at all. So what I end up with is a large piece of plastic with a little red light that I can turn on and off instead of the remote control to Her pleasure.

Ok, you get the idea of why I dislike this product. Instead of continuing to beat a dead horse, I’ll move on to the interesting (and hilarious) thing that we learned about this product by ending up with two of them.

The malfunction in the first one was in the remote. The vibe worked fine, which we learned when we got the second one. When I activated the second vibe with the remote, the first one came on too. That’s right. They all work on the same frequency.

Take a moment to think about the implications of this.

For me, it means one of two things; The manufacturer of this product either thought that they would never actually sell enough of them that there would be two in close range of one another, or they were just so short sighted that they honestly didn’t think to worry about it.

I like to think the first.

Ratings:

Intensity: 4 out of 5 stars

Volume: 2 out of 5 stars

Design: [rating1]

Ease of cleaning: 4 out of 5 stars

Overall: 2 out of 5 stars

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!