Undressed Reviews » porn

I’m not much of a porn buff, so not surprisingly, Carlos Batts’ Behind The Red Door is my first experience with April Flores (or Fatty D), Kelly Shibari, and Ashley Blue. April Flores is the star – making an appearance in every scene except two short masturbation scenes – and the overall aesthetic of this porn seems centered around April Flores’ colourful, bold, and feminine persona.

The premise is very simple in concept: April Flores goes from room to room, exploring the “dolls” who inhabit them – Syd Blakovich, Ashley Blue, Kelly Shibari, and Matador (an “action” figure). The visual and audio experience of behind the red door is a bit more complex, especially than your average porn, in that it employs a lot more play with editing, music, colour saturation, black and white film, and the actual moaning (or silence) of the performers themselves. It’s more like art than porn. Or given how loud the music is and how infrequently we hear moaning, slurping, or “FUCK”, it even seems like it could be a music video. A very naughty music video.

All of the scenes had their highlights, but my favourites were definitely the scenes with April Flores and Syd Blakovich (first scene) and then later April Flores and Matador. I have a bit of bias toward Syd Blakovich in that I am in love with her and have never disliked her performances. It’s true. Syd Blakovich sweating and smirking and spanking is pure awesome. However, there’s a lot of merit to this scene on its own. I never thought I could really appreciate foot play, but I got really into watching April Flores toe fuck Syd Blakovich while also sucking her toes. Their mutual aggressiveness, pleasure, and playfulness throughout this whole scene is flat out sexy, hands down. Oh, and there’s a chick money shot. Hell yes.

The scene with Matador starts out pretty humorous (the guy is wearing a costume, and you know, costumes just tickle me) and the black and white cinematography adds an element of film noir arty-ness to it. Gone are the bright colours, that vibrant hair and the sequins and the blue sparkling eyeshadow. The humor slips away pretty quickly as April Flores begins to suck Matador’s cock, getting spit on her face, messing up her hair and her makeup. While watching April Flores fuck him on the couch, I actually thought to myself, “Damn this is beautiful.” The glint of light on her face from all the sweat, spit, and tears, her hair all wild – to me, this is sex. Not that phony bullshit passed off as sex in advertisements, mainstream music videos, and general porn. Nope. April Flores brings the sex, ladies and gentlemen.

As I said, the other scenes of behind the red door had highlights – Ashley Blue’s legs (me-ow), Kelly Shibari’s giggling humor and sexy eyes, the clothing and costumes, the peculiar taxidermy “Animal Room”, the film repetition of specific moments when the performers are really enjoying themselves, the flashing lights and editing that emphasize the voyeurism taking place. I appreciate the seemingly experimental/to hell with the norm nature of the overall project. That said, I think it’s not working in a few areas.

1.) Music. I was distracted a few times in the first scene because it kept going back and forth between the same two songs. This had a tiring effect, like I wanted the scene to be over soon.

2.) Editing. In a few places the splicing, saturation, and repetition seemed excessive or just distracting. Nobody wants to be distracted by freakish flashes of yellow skin and the dildo that disappears into a black hole.

3.) Sound. The limited sound being heard from performers worked for me in the first scene and the complete absence of it from a few others scenes worked for me as well. It didn’t later on in the film. Why? I think it’s because there were more facial close-ups and dynamic shots in the scenes that worked. The scene with Kelly Shibari and April Flores, for example, seemed a bit flat to me because I couldn’t hear anything from the performers. Nor were there visual clues hinting at the dynamism of the interaction. So I wasn’t left with much.

Overall, think behind the red door is pretty exciting and I want to see more of April Flores and/or Carlos Batts’ work. If nothing else, it’s another example of pornographers pushing boundaries and incorporating a more tangible aesthetic than what has been going on. God bless the art fags.

Joseph

Because Mimi gave such a thorough and accurate account of what it feels like to watch Behind the Red Door, I’ll be brief.

I agree with Mimi that there were certain parts of the performances that were quite hot but that did not save it for me. I attribute all of the hotness to the performers themselves and disagree with nearly every editing choice:

The music is distracting. Especially in the two scenes that the same two songs are on a loop but to some degree in every scene.
The jumpy, almost syncopated repetition of moments is overused.
Some of the camera work is just downright sloppy.
There is a several minute montage before any of the scenes begin that is imagery from the house interlaced with bits of the scenes to come that felt more like a trailer than an introduction.
The god awful CGI transition made it look cheap.
The over use of saturation and filters made me think of someone who has just learned about all the cool things that Photoshop can do and wants to tell you about it. In length.

For me, it comes down to the way I think about it. If I consider it a piece of art, then I can applaud the inventiveness and experimental nature of the whole experience and hope that the film maker makes it to graduation. If I think about it as porn (meant to arouse) I just think of it as an annoying failure. It is possible for something to be highly artistic and arousing, but this is not.

Oh yeah, and this text preceded the film:

“The sexual situations in the following adult feature are shown for educational and informational purposes only. We highly recommend that individuals follow the Surgeon General’s accepted guidelines for safe sex, which are monogamy, and/or adstinence [sic], or at a minimum, the use of a condom combined with a selective choice of sexual partners. We hope you find the following feature an enjoyable stimulation to your adult practice of safe sex. Thank you!”

Sheesh…aside from spelling abstinence wrong, they also claim that this is meant to be educational and informative? Either the film makers are being facetious or have some serious fears about the obscenity laws in America. Either way, that is weak.

The Naked Truth (we could not agree on ratings, so there are two sets)

Mimi

Aesthetics: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Sound Quality: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Entertainment Value: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Creativity: 4 out of 5 stars

Overall: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Joseph

Aesthetics: 1.5 out of 5 stars

Sound Quality: 2 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: (hey, they claimed it was educational) 0 out of 5 stars

Creativity: 4 out of 5 stars

Overall: 2 out of 5 stars

The porn that split up our marriage.

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Roulette

Undressed — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 04:16:49 +0000

Roulette provided by Courtney Trouble for review

Joseph

Roulette is Courtney Trouble’s nofauxxx.com first DVD and it is a doozy.

I wish that I had seen Roulette before Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out. It is not that I didn’t like Seven Minutes. It was a strong offering, but I certainly was not blown away by it.

I was by Roulette. I fucking loved it.

Aside from having some of my favorite queer performers in it, the soundtrack kicked ass, the chemistry felt real for the most part, and the presentation was a near perfect mix of indie aesthetic and deliberate professionalism. The camera work is at times amazing and the sound and editing choices back them up beautifully. To top it off, Trouble breaks up the sex scenes and clears the proverbial palette with indie music videos. It was somewhat reminiscent of surfing the internet…you know, porn porn—oh hey, I wonder if Someband has new music video—porn porn porn….

Except that all the porn in Roulette is real and shot well and no one has implants or is crying and Roulette probably isn’t putting any viruses on my computer. Ok, maybe it is not much like surfing the internet.

The thing that really sold me on Roulette was the diversity of performers and scenes. We got to enjoy everything from an engaged pair of dudes fucking on a rooftop (Walter Crasshole and Nikolaj) to a gangbang with a few of my favorite queer stars (Jiz Lee, Syd Blakovich, Rozen Debowe, and Donny) to a burglar (Dia Zerva) masturbating while showering herself with stolen milk.

That diversity makes the focus of Roulette hot sex and not queers or bois or fags or anything else but Hot. Sex. It is beautiful.

Mimi

We haven’t watched or reviewed a great deal of porn so maybe this isn’t actually saying much, but other than as a joke (“Yes, it’s a SATYR porn! It’s hilarious!”) I have never wanted to show a porn to a friend. I’ve never thought, “Hot damn. This is fun as hell to watch.”

Part of what strikes me about Roulette is that it’s obviously porn on a mission (“bring art back.” is shown alone across a black screen at the very end of Roulette’s film trailer), yet there’s nothing overbearing, pretentious, or preachy about its tone. It comes across with a high amount of youthful, rebellious energy. Sexuality, lifestyle, gender identity, and age are all blurred and solidified and then broken down again. The lack of clarity, as opposed to being distracting, is really exciting. It feels more honest.

Of course, the energy of Roulette is greatly aided by music selections and the three indie music videos placed within the whole of the film. My favourite was Katastrophe’s Big Deal, which re-creates Andy Warhol’s famous Factory and his eventual attempted murder by Valerie Solanas. The song itself, the grainy black and white film quality, and the living character of Andy Warhol all fit together perfectly. The other two videos are for Scream Club and French Quarter. The style in which the last two videos are shot completely matches with the overall film – close-ups, hand held cameras, DIY attitude – so there’s no break in continuity.

Also, Joseph wasn’t exaggerating when he was talking about the mash-up of awesome people from various backgrounds and perspectives. Roulette is the winner of Feminist Porn Awards 2009: Most Diverse Cast. Well deserved. There’s a burlesque performer seduced by her real life girlfriend while attempting to prepare for a performance (she misses it); a wrestler who breaks into a teammate’s locker and masturbates with what he finds; two “fags in love” with bright pinkish-red mohawks and makeup drink a 40 and fuck on a rooftop; a seriously sexy blonde who breaks into someone’s house and masturbates with their milk – and so on. You get the idea.

Some of the sexiest masturbation scenes I’ve witnessed were in this film. I really didn’t think watching someone jerk-off while wearing gym socks on a locker room floor would turn me on, but it happened. Trouble’s curvaceous body lit by only a red light and her self-satisfying moans are certainly memorable. And I’m not sure that I will ever look at milk the same way again. Every scene appeared to be so genuine, so thoroughly enjoyed, so individualistic and respectful. How could it be forgotten or ignored?

I have laughed at porn, cringed at porn, fallen asleep while porn was on, masturbated to porn, fucked to porn, and liked porn… seldom do I love porn. So listen up, kids, I’m about to say something special: I heart Roulette.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: 5 out of 5 stars

Sound Quality: 4 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Entertainment Value: 5 out of 5 stars

Creativity: 5 out of 5 stars

Overall: 5 out of 5 stars

We’re not creepy! YOU’RE creepy!

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Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex

Undressed — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:02:34 +0000

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

Rough Sex is composed of five scenes that are presented as the female performer’s real life fantasies. Adrianna Nicole and Marco Banderas act out a breaking and entering scene, Satine Phoenix plays a stranded motorist at the mercy of good samaritan Derrick Pierce, Francesca Le forces Christian to pay more attention to her – with a flogger, Marie Luv gets caught in a lie by Julius Ceazher and has to pay the price, and Sasha Grey….just fucks Danny Wylde. Each scene starts off with both performers explaining what the performers like about rough sex, what the term means to each of them, and (for the females) what the fantasy involves.

This film certainly lives up to its title. There is plenty of slapping, spitting, hair pulling, choking, and manhandling. Over the course of our relationship, Mimi and I have been discovering and pushing our sexual boundaries. Spanking, hair pulling and aggressive sex are becoming more and more common between us. We are still tender with one another when it feels right, but we also have the outlet of very aggressive, passionate sex in our repertoire. Because I have come to enjoy rough sex so much, I expected to enjoy the depictions in Rough Sex quite a lot.

I was pleased to hear the performers speak to their likes and dislikes and describe why they chose the specific partner that they did to help them make their fantasies come true. There were only a few moments within the actual sex that I found appealing, though. For the most part, this felt like just another porn movie to me. The people looked like freakish sex mannequins, the sex acts were sterilized of all emotion and the god awful porn noises were ubiquitous. The editing choices cut out almost all of the transitions and all of the safe sex practices.

Speaking of safe sex, there was a DVD extra that went over the importance of safer sex and that is the only place that it is mentioned or acknowledged as important. I understand that the idea is to portray a fantasy and that realistic depictions of anal warm up or condom or dental dam usage would interfere with that suspension of disbelief. However, the sad truth in America (thanks in large part to Abstinence Only education) is that a lot of people get most if not all of their ideas of what sex should be from the media, porn included. It seems like there must be some sort of acceptable middle ground.

I’ve made my opinions on mainstream porn pretty clear before and maybe that takes some of my credibility away but I was not excited by this film.

Mimi

I really wanted to love Rough Sex because I happen to enjoy slapping, biting, scratching, manhandling, and the like – both as the one doing and receiving. I also have a great deal of respect for Tristan Taormino. It seemed like a match made in pornographic heaven.

As you can probably tell already, that was not the case.

Satine and Derrick Pierce’s “stranded” fantasy scene and Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde’s switch scene were the most arousing and dynamic to me. Perhaps that has something to do with the roughness and power play in those scenes appearing much more natural and pleasurable to both individuals. (I have a stranded fantasy, too, which may contribute.) The connection between Satine and Derrick is continuous, and it helped me believe that domination. When she mouthed “thank you” as she lay on the ground with his cum on her bare chest, I thought, “Now that’s something I can relate to.” As Sasha and Danny exchange power and react to situations within the scene, their lusty playfulness is, again, something that feels palpable to me. I’m not interested in pure fantasy. Just as these five women are orchestrating their fantasies into reality, I’m interested in where fantasy meets our imperfect physicality.

This is why I take similar issue to Rough Sex as Joseph. I won’t bother repeating what he has said, for obvious reasons, but I want to be clear that I definitely agree with his points about the overall sterilization that occurs in this film. Like I said, I really respect Taormino and I think she has done a lot to bring subjects like anal sex, nonmonogamy, and rough sex to new audiences, but surely a balance can be created.

Technically speaking, this is a well made porn about rough sex, specifically women fulfilling their fantasies. If you don’t have similar stipulations as us when it comes to porn, you may love Rough Sex. I have to settle for only liking it.

Rough Sex? Check.

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Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out!

Undressed — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:59:46 +0000

Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out! provided for review by Good Vibrations

Mimi

After reading an interview with Courtney Trouble in Bitch magazine , I could tell that we were missing out. (We also need to know more about some other people in the interview, such as Bren Ryder, but hopefully we’ll get to them in another post.) Trouble is an individual working in the adult industry committed to making feminist pornography and bringing queer sexuality and lifestyle into a more accessible, realistic state if being. She founded No Fauxx, an arousal and art driven website for the queer community, which the site claims is the first of its kind. Whether or not that’s true, it’s still pretty amazing. I recommend reading the interview and checking out the links we’ve provided to further understand Trouble’s perspective on her own work and her goals.

We suddenly ended up with three of Trouble’s films – much to our delight – and Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out! is the one we chose to start with. The first line of description on the back of this pink, very contemporary punk rockstar DVD case is, “Reality porn is coming out of the closet in this first-ever gonzo queer film.” It probably sounds silly, but I give Trouble props for having a case that accurately represents the film – all of the “fresh-faced performers” are on the cover with obvious tattoos, piercings, “alternative” style and/or diverse body types so we can see who is involved; again, in the description – which is kind of rough-looking typewriter text – it is described as a “kinky slumber party” and that definitely carries through in the film; all throughout the film there is music that reflects the style of the DVD case itself; and “reality porn” along with mention of how the cast picks their own partners and their own toys gives the viewer an indication that this is not going to be like scripted porn with professional stars and excellent lighting in every scene.

Since I have been disappointed in the past with how misleading a DVD case for porn can be, I really appreciate knowing what I’m getting into, especially if I am actually purchasing the porn.

I’m going to break it down to lists because there is so much I could say about Seven Minutes in Heaven, but for the sake of a readable review, I probably shouldn’t. So here is a condensed version:

+ The performers are amateurs and a few first-timers so the interactions are, generally, more fun and interesting. Nuances of their individual personalities come through, which is, to me, quite sexy. My favourite performers were Puck Goodfellow and Sophia, but all of them contributed in really special ways.
+ “I have a 48 inch ass. What more is there to say?” – God Bless You, Jae.
+ Sara Lee Sinful has an orchid for a vagina. Seriously. It’s exquisite. Thank you, Tina Horn, for making a point of it during your scene.
+ Safer sex! I was so happy to see gloves and condoms used on all of the toys.
+ Quite a bit of spanking and even a short discussion on appropriate places and ways to spank people. I especially enjoyed the scene in which Tina Horn is being spanked by Carson.
+ Jae showing Sophia how to put on a strap-on was pretty fabulous. I also like how later, despite her inexperience with strap-ons, Sophia totally got into “jerking off” with Tina Horn.
+ NO annoying fake-ass sex noises. This in itself is fucking amazingly wonderful to me. I want to scream it from rooftops and do cartwheels down the street.
+ Oh, and how could I forget… the various body types. (And we ain’t just talkin’ boob size.) Thank you, Courtney Trouble, for recognizing that sexuality is not limited to a size 4 and big tits.

- The scene with Carson and Joline, there’s a wonderful close-up shot of Joline’s vagina being teased from behind by Carson, but the shot is so grainy that it’s difficult to appreciate. Normally graininess isn’t that big of a deal to me – I think it can even be a positive thing in some cases – but in this instance it disrupted my appreciation of the scene. Perhaps the lighting, although little, still had the effect of cooling Joline’s already pale skin down further. A little too cold and washed out. There were other parts of scenes like this, but most of the time the light was warmer in tone, which worked better.
- Music. Nothing against the music selection, it goes along with everything else in the film, but it was pretty disjointed in some places. Were they using an iPod? Is that why a song would end and then there just wouldn’t be anymore music despite the scene continuing? Or why it was louder in some scenes? I’m sure that filming unscripted can be tricky, but a little more consistency with the music, especially because of how aggressive it was, would have been less distracting.
- The editing was also rather disjointed in some places, mostly in the beginning. When going from scenes of the performers kissing to laughing and talking, then to Tina Horn and Sara Lee Sinful’s scene, it was especially choppy and awkward.
- Again, an editing issue. When Puck Goodfellow and Carson were having a scene in one room with Tina Horn and Sophia having a scene in the next room (no door), the overlapping sounds were kind of funny in a way that made me less drawn to the scene. I knew that there were scenes overlapping in a way, but perhaps a direct, visual acknowledgement of that could have worked better. It would have added to the kinky slumber party atmosphere, too. Sex everywhere all the time!!

There were a lot of positive points and quite a few negative points as well, but overall I’m really excited about Trouble’s work and her participation in a movement toward an evolved adult industry, one that encourages a more honest, pro-female approach that brings together fantasy and reality. Sure, it’s a business, but we don’t have to be dirtbags about it.

Joseph

The very beginning of this film let me know that it would not be typical porn. It started with each person being allowed to describe themselves however they saw fit. A few of them told us that it was their first time performing on camera and for a couple of them, it was even their first queer experience. That alone made the dynamic between some of the people filmed very interesting.

I was somewhat worried about my opinion of this film because we’ve been reviewing so many porns made for queers that I have been jonesing for some wang. Being a heterosexual male, I have been desirous of some heterosexual depiction on screen. Upon reflection, I realize that this experience has been a tiny little taste of how frustrating the porn world must be for a queer person. I mean, I am choosing to watch porn that does not directly apply to me. For a long time, persons living alternative lifestyles didn’t even have the option to watch porn that reflected their sexuality. Even now, there are only and handful of directors and production companies making films for that group. That must be really annoying. Anyway, because I was tired of watching porn that does not reflect my sexuality, I was worried that it would be difficult to be fair to Trouble and her film. Thankfully, I don’t think it turned out to be an issue.

One of the first scenes involved spin the bottle and it was fabulous because of the awkward kissing and obvious lack of chemistry between a few of the people participating. It was nice to see those moments because it helped with the sense of reality that Trouble was trying to portray. As the film went on, they all warmed to one another and lost most of the awkwardness pretty quickly. Sex will do that to you.

About midway through watching I began to be worried that this was going to be somewhat of a negative review because I kept finding things that bothered me about the editing and music presentation. My complaints directly echo Mimi’s so I don’t feel the need to reproduce them, but I will say that they were certainly a sore point for me.

Understanding what gonzo pornography is supposed to be, the low quality lighting and somewhat awkward angles at times didn’t bother me. However, the editing could have been handled better and the music certainly could have, too.

Aside from those two complaints, I am pleased that Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out! was made and I look forward to seeing more of Trouble’s work.

P.S.
Is it just me, or does that title sound like it is setting Seven Minutes in Heaven up to be a series? We can hope.

The Naked Truth:

Aesthetics: 4 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Storyline: 4 out of 5 stars

Overall: 4 out of 5 stars

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CrashPadSeries.com Volume 3

Undressed — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:22:43 +0000

Crashpadseries.com Volume 3 provided by Blowfish

Joseph

In case you don’t know, The Crash Pad Series is based upon Shine Louise Houston’s 2006 debut film of the same name. The crash pad is a place where dykes and femmes alike can go to have uninhibited sex. Unfortunately I have not seen the The Crash Pad itself, but if it is anything like the series based on it, it is HOT.

The DVD that Blowfish sent us is a collection of episodes from the website. From the looks of it, that’s how these collections are offered; four or five episodes per DVD. Volume three features some performers that are quickly becoming favorites of mine: Dallas, Shawn (Syd Blakovich), Dylan Ryan, Princess Donna, Jake, Lorelei Lee, Billy Jack Gunn, Paul Gunn, Red, and Javier.

If you’ve been reading the site or following Houston’s work, you’ll recognize several of those names. Houston has a tendency to use familiar performers (I don’t really feel comfortable calling them actors because they are not acting in even the traditional porn sense. The people in Houston’s films are not pretending to have hot, enjoyable sex – they are) in her productions, which is fine since she has such stellar performers.

This particular installation of the Crash Pad Series involves deep throating, squirting, the fabulous Hitachi Magic Wand, and lots of authentic queer sex. I don’t have any complaints about this collection. None. I personally was not turned on by the scene between “cousins” Billy Jack Gunn and Paul Gunn because my sexual tendencies are unwaveringly hetero and those two look too much like biological men to do anything for me.

The particular copy that was sent to us has some issues with the sound being out of sync in a couple of spots. It was minimal in the beginning but by the last scene (Red and Javier) it was completely incongruous. I sent Blowfish and email to see if this was an artistic choice of Houston’s that I didn’t get or a simple defect but at the time of this writing, I have received no response.

If you don’t want to wait for a DVD to be shipped to you just go to http://www.crashpadseries.com where you can view any of the episodes (there are more online than offered on the individual DVDs.

Mimi

I have a lot of respect for Shine Louise Houston’s work so when it came time to watch CrashPadSeries.com Volume 3, I was really excited and my expectations were high, which is a pleasant shift from the usual. (I’m not a huge fan of porn, which is often boring, stifling regurgitations of sexuality and beauty to me. At best, it’s a good laugh.) I was not disappointed. I enjoyed every scene of this DVD, which I have not been able to say about any other porn thus far.

Whoa shit.
Whoa shit, indeed.

In episode 16, Dylan Ryan enters the crash pad, but instead of trying to join Dallas and Shawn, she hides nearby. While Shawn ties Dallas up to a chair, sucks Dallas’ strap-on cock, and then proceeds to fuck herself silly, Dylan Ryan is sneaking glances, biting her lip, obviously aroused. Eventually Shawn and Dallas move to the bed and continue to pleasure themselves and each other. I really enjoyed the chemistry between these two. They appeared to have a lot of fun.

In episode 17, Dylan Ryan comes out of hiding after Shawn and Dallas leave. She throws herself down on the bed, smiling and burying her face into the vibrant red pillows and sheets. Watching her writhe and inhale the scent of Shawn and Dallas’ sexual encounter is really arousing, perhaps even more so than when she actually strips and masturbates. It may be more of a personal thing than anything else, but entering the mindset of the voyeur, entering the fantasy of unknown bodies and personalities – the way she pulled the sheet between her legs, thrust her hips toward the bed, inhaled deeply, and smiled so big – is a huge turn-on.

That’s what I need. Honest arousal. Honest reaction.

Joseph didn’t seem to enjoy Episode 15 with Billy Jack and Paul quite as much, for reasons rather obvious, and we ended up talking more throughout its duration. We talked a lot about gender identification, bisexuality, pansexuality, and considered our relative ignorance when it comes to various lifestyles. For example, I trip over terminology quite a lot because I want to be respectful. It’s hard when everyone has personal preferences that may not be clear. Houston’s porn films are especially challenging, and I think she would probably smile if she heard me say so.

Despite the distraction of our talk, I found this scene just as arousing as the others. Aside from a little initial awkwardness, both performers seemed to forget that a camera was even there. They just did their thing and their thing was hot. (Also, how great is it that Paul Gunn has a “pussyboy” tattoo?)

In episode 21, Lorelei Lee enters the crash pad to find Donna and Jake ready to fuck, and she’s not so sure at first, but quickly convinced! (If only I had the powers of persuasion that Donna has…) This part of the scene was really annoying because the sound was a bit off; however, the three of them really made up for it. Lorelei Lee, god bless her, didn’t make constant obnoxious goat noises like she did in Superfreak. Jake was quiet, reserved, and yet really involved in significant ways. Donna, of course, dominated most of the actions in the scene. All three of them seemed really into it (when Lorelei Lee and Donna are making prolonged eye contact later in the scene, it’s pretty intense), yet joked and laughed occasionally.

Last but not least, episode 19 with Red and Javier was, sadly, hard to watch because of the sound disturbances. And you can watch it muted, like we did, but…. it’s not the same. Red and Javier are really sexy performers – I liked watching them even without sound. Red can wear a strap-on and bend me over anytime she’d like.

As always with Houston’s films, she places emphasis on safer sex practices, which I find really appealing in porn. Also, despite the reoccurrence of performers, there’s something really “fresh” about their presence. Perhaps it’s the scenery, the camera angles, the tone, the personal interactions between performers. You just know that it’s going to be sexy and authentic, yet light-hearted and fun. Perfect.

The Naked Truth:

Aesthetics: 5 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Storyline: 3 out of 5 stars

Overall: 5 out of 5 stars

There is no Crash Pad where we live, but we do have a shed…

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Our first contest!

Undressed — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 01:47:18 +0000

We are giving away three 30 minute codes to passionate VOD dot com. It is a great site for watching high quality porn movies with no invasive memberships and we figure 130 minutes is about the right time for a whole movie. The only thing you’ll have to worry about is what you want to get off watching.

Exciting, right?

Here’s the deal:

To enter you must do two things. First, you should follow us on Twitter. Second, retweet this: Giving away 130 minutes of passionatevod.com time! http://bit.ly/rZ8aY

You have until 12 a.m. est on Sunday, September 27th to do this. One entry per person. Good luck!

P.S.

If you don’t have a twitter account, send Joseph@undressedreviews.com a note about what you are willing to do instead and we’ll probably let it slide.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Champion

Undressed — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 21:54:50 +0000

Champion provided by Blowfish

Mimi

When we first received Shine Louise Houston’s Champion in the mail, we debated on whether or not it was actually porn because there is not one single finger going into anyone’s vagina anywhere on the cover. We hadn’t seen any of Houston’s films yet and joked in our ignorance, “Perhaps she’s trying to make a real movie and it will be the most painful display of acting ever seen.” Such movies are watched only with whiskey.

Naturally, we put it off for the right time and meanwhile we watched Houston’s older film, Superfreak, which made it crystal clear to us that Houston is someone to take seriously. Serious in the respectable sense, not in the sit in the dark alone and listen to Sarah McLachlan sense. There is an excellent balance of playfulness and hardcore eroticism in Houston’s work. It’s refreshing, really.

Champion is full of talented, sexy, charming performers such as Syd Blakovich (she has a great website), Jiz Lee, Javier, Dallas, Madison Young and Dylan Ryan. Syd Blakovich plays Jessie Eaton, a cold son of a bitch making her way into women’s professional Mixed Martial Arts, as well into the pants of various individuals. It backfires when her old nemesis, Bobby Malone (Javier), punishes Jessie for having sex with Bobby’s girl through blackmail. While Jessie is trying to decide what to do about it, she is also dealing with her sexual attraction to Violet Vahn (Dallas), her opponent in and out of the ring. Of course, this being porn, they end up fucking. One can’t let hairy pussy go to waste.

There was not one single scene in Champion that I didn’t like, and any complaint I could muster up would be really minor. Not even worth mentioning. Houston has a great deal of talent to begin with, but it’s obvious comparing Champion to her older work that a lot of the awkwardness has been refined. In between loving Jiz Lee’s beautiful face in ecstasy and watching Dylan Ryan squirt, I spent a fair amount of time during the film admiring the camera angles or the naturalness of the lighting.

It’s true that this film is more like a “real” movie than your standard fair porno, but it didn’t ever leave me feeling bored or miserably hoping that the acting scene would end soon so the sex can commence. While Jessie is at the gym or watching a recorded fight in preparation for her match, there’s another sex scene going on simultaneously. A working visual balance is created that carries through a sophisticated level of eroticism.

Champion is sophisticated because it acknowledges complexity within gender and sex, yet maintains a sense of humor and humanity. It’s not glamorized bullshit, it’s just fucking hot. Period.

Joseph

Mimi already covered almost everything that I had in mind to say about this film. It was well made, the stars were hot and the chemistry was real. As if that wasn’t enough, there was enough of a plot to give you some investment with the characters that you are watching have hardcore sex.

For me personally, the connection is what made every scene (except for Madison Young’s) go from hot to stellar. Even though the connection with the characters is somewhat cursory, it is very real and I think Houston understands that giving that sort of depth will make us hot in our minds as well as our dirty bits.

The superb camera work and lighting choices even prevented Young from ruining the scene that she was in. While all of the other actors seemed to have real chemistry with one another and looked like they were genuinely enjoying themselves, Young is not convincing. It is almost like she watched some mainstream porn and then decided to take those traits into the queer porn world. Fake noises and all. I apologize, I know my problem with Young must be getting old by now. Maybe if I hadn’t watched Bride of Sin first, I wouldn’t loathe seeing her so much. She is hot, I’ll give her that.

I’m glad that Houston makes cameos in her films. I liked seeing her as the ghost of Rick James in Superfreak and she appears in Champion as the world’s most meek reporter. It is always nice to put a face with a piece of work and her perpetual small roles almost strike me as a signature. I look forward to watching The Crash Pad and seeing how she will put herself in that series.

I am really happy with the gender role blurring, power dynamic swapping, queer porn we have been watching. Because of the expert way that Houston handles these films, I would be very interested to see what Houston would do with a hetero-oriented film. She does such masterful work playing with and setting up masculine dynamics within her queer films, I would love to see how she handles directing biological males. Perhaps one day…

She said “chocolate?” -I said “No.”- She said POW!

The Naked Truth:

Aesthetics: 5 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Storyline: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Overall: 5 out of 5 stars

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide to Anal Sex for Men and Women

Undressed — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 04:29:34 +0000

Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide to Anal Sex for Men and Women provided for us by http://www.tabutoys.com/

Joseph

Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide to Anal Sex for Men and Women had some valuable information and some hot anal sex. It also had some obnoxious imperfections.

It opens with Nina Hartley and Kylie Ireland sitting behind a table loaded with various sex toys and discussing safe and pleasurable techniques for anal sex. They candidly discuss everything from how to feel better about anal hygiene to how to properly clean sex toys once they have been in your ass.

After the lead in discussion, the film transitioned to the demonstration section. Nina Hartley does a scene with Christian that I thought was very hot. They talk to one another, they take turns playing with one another’s ass, and they made each other cum. Nina Hartley has a very real and very loud orgasm with Christian is fucking her ass and she is using a vibrator on her clit. She screams, she convulses, and she laughs. It is everything an orgasm should be and it is exquisite.

Hartley continues the education through most of this scene, stopping to briefly discuss technique and safety. It can be somewhat tedious at times, but it is nice that she is trying to stay true to the educational aspect of the program.

We then move on to a scene with Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone that is really just a sex scene. There is no instruction and there is no anal play with Evan Stone. It seems somewhat as though Nina Hartley wanted to make an educational video but Adam & Eve Pictures told her that to do so, she must include a regular porn scene. It felt out of place. There was anal sex in it, but it was the same kind of anal sex you can see in almost any porn.

The obnoxious imperfections that I mentioned earlier are a couple of little things and one big thing. The little things are noises in the background and a boom mic being visible briefly. I know, I know…that’s nit picky cause this is porn, right? Well, I think that I a lot of the problem with the porn industry. Noises in the background would not get by on even lowest quality network television show. Just because you are cramming a pink rod up someone’s ass doesn’t mean it is ok accept mediocrity.

Standards, people, standards.

The big thing is that even though this is called Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide to Anal Sex for Men and Women, there is no male on male anal sex in the film. That’s almost a deal breaker for me. For a guide to anal sex for MEN, there should be some homosexual male interaction. It seems like it should be obvious.

Despite that, it is definitely worth a view or two.

Mimi

“There will be unsuccessful attempts along the way. You need to show compassion for yourself and your partner to get through them.” – Nina Hartley

Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide to Anal Sex for Men and Women offers a lot of practical advice very quickly, such as what to look for in a sex toy and possibilities for use of a sex toy in addition to anal sex, and if an award was given to the best sex positive cheerleader, it would totally be Nina Hartley. I’ve never been so cheerfully encouraged to stick my tongue in someone’s ass before. She brings a lot of humanity to porn that I think is too often lacking. For example, at one point in the introduction scene with her and Kylie Ireland, friend and “co-host”, Nina Hartley mentions that warming up for anal sex is a process and that when people jump right into it in pornographic films, we’re not seeing all the previous activities leading up to that point. The film and the fantasy are separate from real life scenarios.

Casual, playful humor carries on through to Nina Hartley’s “demonstration” with Christian, which was, by the way, really hot. Some of the commentary Nina Hartley made during the scene was a little tedious (I can SEE what you’re doing there, you know), but overall, I found her comments, giggling, and smiling to be really charming. The environment was sexy, Nina Hartley was sexy, Christian was sexy, and they even managed to make the Hitachi Magic Wand look kind of sexy.

Most importantly (to me), the scene appeared to be very equal in regards to the performer’s individual pleasure, and knowing how much these beautiful people were into it made the scene especially arousing. As Nina Hartley points out later to Kylie Ireland, it’s admirable for a man to communicate his desires in regard to receiving anal play because of all the homophobic pressures placed upon our men. There was quite a lot of discussion – visually supplemented by exposed breasts and lingerie – about confronting the taboos of anal sex.

My only complaints about the film are basically the same as those that Joseph already made, so I won’t repeat them in my own review. However, I will mention that the last scene between Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone could be improved if their dialogue was more clearly audible since dirty talk was obviously a big component of the scene and might have made it special, but mostly I found their interaction annoyingly familiar and thus forgettable.

Also, no condoms? Anywhere? I realize that this is a debated issue in porn and often remains up to personal preference, but in an educational film about sex, especially anal sex, it seems really remiss to leave it out of discussion and out of “instructional” scenes.

As an aside, I have looked at some old photographs of Nina Hartley and in my opinion she now looks better than ever.

We are quick learners.

The Naked Truth:

Aesthetics: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: 4 out of 5 stars

Storyline: N/A

Overall: 4 out of 5 stars

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Shine Louise Houston’s “Superfreak”

Undressed — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 04:53:24 +0000

Shine Louise Houston’s Superfreak provided by Blowfish

Joseph

In non-porn movies there are several levels; good, okay, bad, and so-bad-it-is-good. Although I think that almost all porn is bad, I thought that Superfreak would be a so-bad-it-is-good porn.

It starts off with our pal Madison Young pretending to masturbate (badly) at home. Then the main and only plot device comes into the room: The ghost of Rick James. Said ghost dives into Young and, possessed by the funky spirit of James, she pulls out her trusty Hitachi Wand and masturbates for real. Watching Young please herself is much more enjoyable than watching her pretend to please herself or watching her speak.

Once Young has vibed and shaken herself silly, she puts on some clothes and goes to a party. At said party, Young immediately approaches Dylan Rion and says a wonderful pickup line, “It’s a good thing I brought my library card cause I’m checking you out.” Based on Rion’s reaction, I am glad I’ve never used this line. Rion proceeds to fuck Young in a room full of people. How rude.

This scene has some very hot moments but it also has some very awkward camera angles. The awkward camera angles are in every scene of Superfreak and never stop being perplexing. After the two are done fucking in the corner, James exits Young in search of a less spent host which he finds in Guy Handful who is arguing in the bathroom with Rozen.

However, because the film is anachronistic, we see James enter Shawn in the kitchen before we see Handful and Rozen. Shawn finds Vasa right after she is done pissing in the kitchen sink because the bathroom was taken (we see why later, yowza) but this does not deter Shawn in the least. She takes a mouthful of water, sprays it into Vasa’s pussy and then immediately goes to town. What follows is in my opinion the hottest scene in the movie. I say this not only because Vasa is super cute, but because the chemistry between Vasa and Shawn seems very natural (we learn in the behind the scenes that they are a couple in real life) and the sexuality portrayed is very raw and powerful.

After that hotness is over, we get to see what was going on in the bathroom with Handful and Rozen. They were arguing. But then James came in and with his supernatural superfreak supercharm ended the argument with one sentence. “Less talking, more fucking.” And there was. Rozen’s intense pleasure convulsions and wails really make this scene. Though, it makes her look like the one that is possessed.

Next we see Dana DeArmond and Princess Donna being bored on a couch. They discuss going home but before they can get up to leave, Lorelei Lee plops down between them and asks if she has missed the party. They respond the way any reasonable young women would, by throwing Lee down on the coffee table and tag-teaming her. This scene has some hot moments in it as well, but the noises that Lee makes (kinda like a goat) are so obnoxious to us that we had to mute it in order to enjoy the hot parts. The ghost of Rick James has nothing to do with this impromptu party sex, but walks in and sees it. And approves.

After the credits rolled, we watched the extras and I’m very glad that we did. There are interviews of every cast member and it is revieled that everyone but Rion and Young knew each other before shooting. I have a lot of respect for Houston for casting that way. It greatly reduced most of what I hate about porn which is its fakeness and it exploitative nature.

I was wrong about Superfreak. It falls into the good porn category instead of the so-bad-it-is-good category. Awkward camera angles aside, this was a great example of what porn could be. Granted it was silly and didn’t even try to have a real plot, but the sex was real and engaging and it was well lit and recorded. I look forward to seeing more of Houston’s work.

We were hoping to summon the ghost of Rick James.

Mimi

This is the first film of Shine Louise Houston’s that I’ve had the pleasure of watching. The DVD packaging looks very professional and sets the tone – freaky, funny, and hot. Reading “real people having real sex” in the synopsis led to a brief glimmer of lustful hope; however, I was still really skeptical about enjoying it because, well… Madison Young is on the cover and while I am a fan of her ass, I am not a fan of her work. Another porn with her as the leading star simply did not sound appealing.

Despite the film opening with a scene that had Madison masturbating, it is immediately clear that Houston’s films is different – colourful, stylish, good quality, good sound, wild, and intentionally funny. Intentionally is the key word there. Even the music that accompanies each scene fits in line with the humorous, casual atmosphere. It’s not over the top, but definitely lingering close enough to make you sweat.

The ghost of a funk singer inhabiting people and getting them to do “freaky” shit is a very simple plot, but it allows the viewer to know what he or she’s getting into from the beginning and provides a basis for the humor. And like any good film plot, it holds the scenes and characters together, making the scenes fluid and (I’m using this word loosely) believable. Who has sex in a crowded room? Young does if she’s got Rick James’ ghost inside her! She also, apparently, learns how to stop masturbating like she’s having a damn self-induced seizure and really gets down to business with her Hitachi Wand, rope, and glass dildo.

When Young gets to the party, Dylan Rion wastes no time to make her move, which Young intercepts with a bold (and wicked cheesy) pick-up line. They start kissing and fucking with a strap-on against a wall, which at some points was really hot on account of Young’s juicy ass being gripped by Rion’s hands. Rion’s animated playfulness is also really entertaining after the sex part of their scene is over and they’re kneeling behind a couch, recovering and acknowledging their actions. I still can’t stand the noises Young makes or her facial expressions, but it’s not enough to completely ruin the scene.

My favourite scene was the one with Shawn and Vasa because it was the most intense, energetic, fun, and those two are just flat out sexy. They both seemed completely comfortable and happy to be playing their respective parts. I love the inclusion of the water! Obviously, for practical reasons, some “cleaning” was necessary since Vasa just took a piss in the kitchen sink, but watching Shawn spit water onto Vasa’s pussy and then Vasa’s surprised/excited facial reaction was enough to make my hips stir and sexual appetite grow. (Note to self: We need a kitchen sink hose. Oh, and a bigger kitchen.) Nothing about their interaction feels fake, forced, or exaggerated. How fucking hot is that? When Vasa wiped some of Shawn’s nether juices on her face and in her mouth, I almost squealed. Seriously. This is one sexy scene.

In second place, regarding my favourite scenes, would be the one between newcomer real life couple Rozen and Guy Handful. The acting was about what you’d expect in porn (not very good), but their sex scene was much better than what you’d expect. (The second option is more important, if you ask me.) No obnoxious noises, no fake expressions, and Rozen has amazing, natural looking breasts. She appears to completely forget the cameras, bucking her hips hard and screaming.

The last scene was difficult for me to enjoy because I took such a disliking of the half-laughing, half-goat noises Lorelei Lee was making constantly. It would have been fine, really, but when I say constantly, I mean she stopped to inhale. We muted it so that I’d stop yelling at the television and startling the cats. I also took issue with there being ass to vag finger insertion because even though I know they stopped and cleaned/lubed up periodically, I think that porn should be held to a practical, safe standard. Like when Rion and Handful had condoms on their strap-ons – that made sense, that felt appropriate. However, if you’re not paying attention like I was at the time (hawk eyes!), then you probably wouldn’t even notice and, all of that said, it was still a hot “stone femme” on femme scene.

Having seen Bride of Sin already and knowing Young is a huge rope slut, it’s encouraging to know that Houston obviously let Young use the rope for her masturbation scene. Positive female sexuality? Houston’s not all talk. Frequently throughout this simple, fun film we are introduced to notions of gender identity, roles, and how people are challenging them everyday just by leading honest, authentic lives. You can see this fully articulated in the Behind Kink interview where a rather soft spoken, joking, encouraging Houston directs her crew and talks about challenging pre-determined roles, whether it’s directly related to porn or life itself. All of this is worthy of respect, if not titillation. Probably both.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: 5 out of 5 stars

Level of Arousal: 4 out of 5 stars

Educational Value: N/A

Storyline: 3 out of 5 stars

Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!