The Fleshlight Ice provided for review by Tabu Toys

Joseph

The Fleshlight Ice is a modern wonder of fake vagina technology. It is by far the best non-animate thing that I’ve ever had the pleasure of sticking my dick in. It is one of the many variations on the original Fleshlight.

If you’re reading this, I assume that you are familiar with what a Fleshlight is. If not, head on over to their website and browse around a bit. I guess if you’re too lazy for that, I’ll explain. To oversimplify, it is a tube made of Superskin (which feels much like super soft silicone) housed inside a hard plastic case.

The Fleshlight Ice is a variation on the original that is clear. The idea there is that you can see your wang move in and out of the sleeve. It is actually kinda cool.

One of the features of the Fleshlight is the variation available for the inside of the sleeve. Again, if you’re interested you can learn more about this on the Fleshlight website. The particular model that we were sent has the “speed bump” interior which has hundreds of soft beads lining the inside of the sleeve.

The Fleshlight arrives powdered and the instructions inform you that you can re-powder it with corn starch to achieve a silky smooth feeling. This is a bit perplexing to me because the instructions also recommend that you soak the sleeve in hot water until it is comfortably warm…which washes off all the powder. That’s just a waste of corn starch.

Without powder, the sleeve is hella sticky. This can be somewhat unpleasant and annoying when taking it out of the case or trying to put it back in. It will stick to the inside of the case and bunch up in an obnoxious manner if you’re not careful. Replacing the sleeve can feel a bit like Operation. Thankfully it does not make that god awful buzzing noise when you mess up.

The stickiness is not really an issue when you are using the Fleshlight though. This is because of that wonderful and indispensible substance known as lube. Seeing as the Fleshlight does not produce its own lubrication, it is necessary to lube yourself or the sleeve before use.

When properly lubed, it feels freaking fantastic. The hard outer case serves to keep the canal of the sleeve nice and tight while in use and there is an adjustable valve at the end that allows you to restrict the airflow which causes various levels of suction. The case is also useful because it allows you to cram the Fleshlight into things for hands free use. They sell furniture with Fleshlight sized holes in them (which I imagine are quite the conversational piece) but I’ve found that stuffing it in between the mattress and box springs works just fine.

The only real problem that I have with the way it feels is that the speed bumps make the sensation so intense that it is over rather quickly. Yup, it makes me come really quickly. I suppose that it could be argued that the whole point of a masturbation sleeve is to make you come but the buildup is a big part of the fun. It is no coincidence that this model is the one that they sell as a stamina builder.

After you’re done building your stamina comes the cleaning. You need to take the sleeve out of the case, wash the come out of it, let it dry and then put it back in the case. Easy, right? No.

The washing out part is pretty simple but the drying is quite the pain in the ass. You have to let it sit for at least a couple of hours and then turn it inside out and repeat. I know, letting something sit is not that hard, but take into consideration that you have to leave this giant translucent slug out in the open for a minimum of four hours. Not very discrete.

Cleaning issues aside, this is hands down the best masturbation sleeve that I’ve encountered. Cleaning issues considered, it only very narrowly passes the almighty Is It Worth It test but it does pass the test.

Lookit them bumps!

Mimi

I know that some people turn masturbation sleeves into a partnered event, but I’m not really inclined to do that. I’m likely to get distracted and start blowing him instead or giggling or thinking about egg salad. (Every now and then I crave… things.) Now that I’ve loosely explained my cognitive and psychological deficiencies, I’m sure it’s unnecessary for me to elaborate extensively on the fact that there isn’t much I can say about the Fleshlight Ice. Since Joseph won’t let me say HUZZAH and be done with it, I will add a few little notes from my perspective:

Fleshlight Ice is pretty classy looking as far as masturbation sleeves go; in fact, I’m the one who wanted it for him and it wasn’t my sadism kicking in, either. Had I not selected it for him and I were to find it drying in the bathroom, I would not be disgusted. Amused, yes. Wondering how often he masturbates, yes. Fingering it, yes. Trying to come up with an appropriate chick name for it, yes. Inclined to throw it at a wall near his head and laugh as it sticks for a moment before sliding down, yes. Disgust or shame does not enter the equation anywhere.

Oh, and you will definitely find it in the bathroom unless there’s a special section in a cabinet that it can dry in. A little Fleshlight Ice loft, so to speak. It takes a while to dry thoroughly and unless you think mildew is sexy, you need to give it enough time. Depending on how often you masturbate… well, you get me. Planning may be involved. If family is coming over for dinner, maybe you should wait for your little rendezvous with the Fleshlight Ice until the coast is clear.

Based on what I’ve read, the Fleshlight Ice is worth every dime because not only does it feel fantastic, it’s also made with quality materials that will last a long time provided that this luxury toy is cared for properly. In sum, it is a pretty swank sex toy.

HUZZAH!

The Naked Truth

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Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Vibratex’s Tumbelina provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

The Thumbelina is what is commonly referred to as a rabbit or dual stimulation vibe. It’s pretty obvious why. They are designed with dual stimulation in mind; Internal (often G-spot) stimulation and external clitoral. The rabbit name comes from the fact that the clitoral tickler resembles the ears of a rabbit. Sometimes it is even in the shape of a rabbit.

This one in particular is made with G-spot stimulation in mind. It has a bulbous head that is motorized to rotate at a variable speed. The clitoral tickler also has a variable speed motor. In theory, this should stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris with minimal work on your part. I don’t know about you, but I am digging the trend in female sex toys to be more and more automated. Several of them require little to no effort. You just plug them in, turn them on, lay back and enjoy. The downside to toys that do all the work for you is that they are not much fun for partnered use. For example, the Thumbelina is designed in such a way that it is not necessary to move it once you find the sweet spot and dial it up. Not really much for a second person to do except enjoy the show. Don’t get me wrong, watching a beautiful woman pleasure herself is nothing to complain about, but there is always something to be said for teamwork. Before you send me an email about it, I know that it is a MASTURBATION toy and so it is fine for it to be catered to solo use. But…we’re a married couple and we’re going to make observations like that. Deal.

Thinner than most of the dual vibes that I’ve seen, the Thumbelina is 3-3/4” x 1-1/4” and made of transparent purple elastomer. That, of course, means that it cannot be sterilized so you must use a condom with it if sharing with someone you are not fluid bonded with. I imagine that could be somewhat tricky due to the bullet that juts out of the side of this thing.

It is powered by 4 AAA batteries and goes WHUANG-WHUANG-WHUANG when it is activated. Not only are its gyrations somewhat comical, but they are LOUD too. And don’t think that having it in your vag will help. Doesn’t muffle the sound at all.

Mimi

I did not like my first experience with a rabbit vibrator (Rockin’ Robin), in fact I hated it, but I decided not long after beginning our review site that I’d keep trying them to see if one could do it for me. The Thumbelina is not the one, if such a rabbit vibrator exists.

Simply, it does not hit my g-spot unless I tilt it in such a way that my clit is neglected and vice versa for my clit. The clit normally wins because it feels better and I’m more likely to orgasm, but even still the vibration lacks enough oomph to push me beyond warm up. And obviously why bother with a toy designed to stimulate my g-spot and my clit to only (sort of) stimulate one of them? To that, I say pshaw.

Although it would be a fantastic luxury to be able to stimulate both with only one toy, it seems like a stretch in my mind. My body has special, specific needs for specific areas, shaped and sometimes inhibited by my own desires. Many women that I know function the same way. It’s one of the reasons why we buy bikinis as separates. Or why buying jeans is NOT an easy task.

The best thing going for the Thumbelina is the vibration and rotation control panel. It’s very easy to maneuver while using the toy. It may be the only stand out thing about it, other than the unnecessarily loud noises it makes. As Joseph mentioned, the toy is loud – loud enough that you should not use it while someone is in the next room unless you have loud music playing. There is some bumpy texture on the surface of the Thumbelina, but it does little to make the toy more appealing.

Basically, I would not recommend the Thumbelina to anyone. Sad, but true.

The Naked Truth:

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The only good thing about this toy is that you can make it rave.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

pjur med Clean provided for review by ProductEROTICA.com

Joseph

This product is pretty much an adult version of Wet Naps. A good one, at that.

As any man that has ever charmed the cobra without proper planning knows, come is damn hard to clean up. Water just makes it sticky, normal soap just rubs it around. It’s like trying to clean up melted marshmallows.

I took one for the team and made myself a big sticky mess earlier today. It was on my hands, penis, pubes, and lower belly. I’m a hella hairy guy, too. So when I say that it was a mess, I’m not kidding. Now that you have that lovely image in your head, let me tell you how freaking easy it was to clean up with one of these wipes.

It only took me one of the “intimacy soft cleaning fleece” wipes to clean myself completely. All that sticky mess gone with just one little wipe. It left the area basically scentless and slightly moist. So that’s it for how well it cleans intimate areas. I’ll leave the description of how it works on sex toys to Mimi.

Now, down to brass tacks:

The pjur med Clean wipes are alcohol free, perfume free, anti-bacterial, and anti-viral. The package says that they are intended for gentle, hygienic cleaning of intimate areas and utensils. As far as the anti-viral aspects, you should take that with a grain of salt. The package clarifies that “when cleaning utensils pjur med clean has to a certain extent an anti-viral effect against lipophilic, enveloped viruses.”

The package that we were sent contains 25 wipes. It also has a resealable opening so that your wipes will stay moist until you need them and if you’re livin’ right, needing them shouldn’t take you too long.

Mimi

There isn’t much for me to say about the pjur med Clean wipes. They’re soft wipes. They’re alcohol and perfume free. They perform their job well. Ta-da!

I used them on myself – both to freshen up and to clean come off of me – as well as on a few toys. Just as Joseph said, one wipe is truly sufficient. In fact, when I used two wipes on myself because I felt especially unclean pre-sex, it caused a slight stinging sensation for a few seconds. After inspecting myself, I could find no sign of irritation, but I would still recommend only using one wipe as a time. If nothing else, you’ll save money that way and create less waste by only using one wipe.

According to the packaging and based on my own experience, this product does not negatively affect latex, rubber, or silicone so you should be able to use pjur med Clean wipes on your sex toys. They’re especially handy for toys that are prone to collecting (cat) hair and lint or toys that have a lot of ridges that make cleaning them quickly an art form in itself.

I’m not going to be using this product frequently, but to know that it’s there for special circumstances, like when I don’t feel like taking a shower, is really comforting. Just like chocolate pudding and reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The Naked Truth:

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Eat your heart out, Randy Newman.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!