I Rub My Duckie Bondage provided for review by Vibrator.com

Mimi

There are two things I think I should mention right away –

1. I’m not really into animal shaped, cutesy toys.

2. It takes a lot to please my clit, especially with the medication I’ve been taking recently.

This is the perspective that I am coming from, yet I still wanted an I Rub My Duckie of my own. Of course, we needed the Bondage version, the second release of the Collector’s Series. With its lace up “leather” corset , red ball gag, tattoo, and miniature handcuffs, it’s really cute and fun. If someone were to see it through the clear shower doors, they probably would just assume that it’s another silly thing in our apartment full of many silly things.

The Bondage Duckie is easy to hold, even while wet, and most of its use, for me, has occurred as a warm up in the shower. There is only one level of vibration and it is centered mostly in the duck body, felt the strongest through the tail end. The vibration feels very good and can cover a broad area, but I have not been able to have an orgasm. Like I said, it serves as a good warm up toy that I can leave in the shower and smirk at from time to time.

The only outright annoyances come from the battery compartment and the method by which you can turn the vibration on or off. I didn’t mind the battery compartment requiring the use of a screwdriver because, honestly, if they die on me I’ll switch to my hand or get out of the shower to use a different toy. However, if the idea of being interrupted at all while masturbating is unsettling to you, then you should probably go for a different vibrator. In order to turn the vibrator on or off, you have to squeeze the Bondage Duckie at the base of the neck. You know how there are stuffed animals in grocery stores and such that sing songs or speak, and all you need to do is “PRESS HERE”? You know how sometimes the pressing is more like “SQUEEZE AS HARD AS YOU CAN IN THIS GENERAL AREA AND HOPE FOR THE BEST”? Yeah…. So we understand each other.

No Trash!

These complaints, in my opinion, are minor. Does anyone buy vibrators like these actually expecting to get off effectively? I don’t know. Considering the way my body functions, I wouldn’t. The Bondage Duckie is a luxury toy in the sense that it is enjoyable and certainly a fun item to have in your collection, but it’s completely non-essential.

Joseph

Ok…so it’s a rubber duckie (usually associated with toddlers) that is covered in bondage gear (only associated with toddlers if you like federal penitentiaries) that you are meant to vibrate your vagina with. That’s not weird. Not at all.

Of course, I am being obtuse. This is one of those discreet sex toys meant to be kept in plain site without raising more than an eyebrow. It does a good job of that.

Beyond that, it is pretty easy to use from the partner’s perspective. It is easy to hold and the vibration is fairly easy to direct. It still weirds me out a little bit, though….

“You like that duckie? Yeah, you like it?” See? Weird.

I don’t suppose I should be too weirded out though, many sex toys resemble baby toys.

One more thing. It can never be completely sterilized so no sharing unless you’re fluid bonded.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics:

Intensity:

Volume:

Ease of Cleaning:

Functionality:

Overall:

Ahem…

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Basic Essentials Softee provided for review by Eden Fantasys

Joseph

Marketing Guy 1:
What do chicks love?

Marketing Guy 2:
My Dick!

MG 1 & 2:
WOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH!

MG 1:
No seriously, though…they love pink…and….and….

MG 2:
My Dick!

MG 1:
Textures! Let’s make a vibrator that is pink and covered in texture of some kind.

MG 2:
But let’s make the texture removable so I can put it on My Dick!

MG 1:
Um..sure…

Expert tip for guys — don’t turn the sheath inside out and try to use it as a sleeve. Just don’t.

And they made it in China cause it is cheaper and put “SOLD AS NOVELTY ONLY…This product is intended for use as a novelty product only. For external use only.” Yep. It is a vibrating dildo that is not meant for internal use.

Ok, so that endearing disclaimer aside, let’s talk material. The outer sheath is made of TPR which is pretty easy to clean (assuming it doesn’t have a million little bumps all over it) but can not be disinfected. The vibrator itself is ABS, a mix between elstomer, rubber and hard plastic. Same story there, easily cleaned but impossible to disinfect. It is, however recyclable (probably not with the motor in it, though).

The Basic Essentials Softee takes one AA battery and has an adjustable speed dial at the base to control the speed of vibration. It is water proof and oh-so-pink.

Don’t buy it.

Mimi

When EdenFantasys offered the Basic Essentials Softee to us for review, I accepted the offer thinking our experience could go one of two ways –

1. It would be a simple toy that is surprisingly exciting and novel in its sensation.
2. It would be uncomfortable and oh so ho-hum.

After getting its soft, nubbed pink body out of the packaging, I immediately tested the dial-control for vibration range, intensity, and ease of use. I found it promising. Plus, there’s something about the physical sensation of turning a dial that I really enjoy. Don’t try to make sense of it. I’m just mentioning this because the dial turning may be the thing I like most about this toy.

(Oh yeah, it’s like that.)

Joseph removed the TPR shell – the nubby sleeve which reminds me of art history freshman year – exposing a much more simplistic, “traditional” vibrator beneath. Still pink. Still could go either way.

I could see being excited about the idea of having two toys in one, but really this is more like getting no toys at all. And then crying.

Why? Well….

Most of the intensity is in the “head”, which is smooth, not nubbed like the rest of it. I guessed the point of the nubbiness then was to stimulate the vulva in a new way. Guessed wrong. It feels like a lubricated gelatin mace is groping me.

Although the vibration did feel good, it wasn’t really strong enough to push me over the edge. So it might be good for some warm-up foreplay or orgasm control, but otherwise it’s a big fat disappointment.

While it was inside me I kept thinking, “This might feel good without those nubs.” It wasn’t painful, per se. It was just uncomfortable. Yes, I know – you can remove the nubby texture. The problem with the intensity is still present.

Since the Basic Essentials Softee has a removable sleeve and it’s waterproof, cleaning is easier than it would be if… say… there were no water in the world anywhere ever and you were dead. Okay, I’m exaggerating. However, it’s no exaggeration that cleaning the TPR nubby sleeve is a pain in the ass. In fact, considering the Basic Essentials Softee cannot be sterilized in any way, you may want to go ahead and use a condom with each use anyway. Voila! Clean-up is easier.

Or buying a different toy altogether. That might be easier.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics:

Intensity:

Volume:

Ease of Cleaning:

Functionality:

Overall:

(Bad) Dream of the Sex Toy Reviewer’s wife

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

The Alumina Revolve provided for review by ProductEROTICA.com (their site seems to be down, but they really did send it to us.)

Mimi

When looking at the Alumina Revolve, in all of its shiny purple aluminum splendor, I suspected it might just be a nice looking toy with mediocre results. (Of course it looks good. It’s a Tantus product.) There are those sensual, smooth bulbs to consider, certainly, but it’s straight instead of curved, and curved toys tend to be the winners of my g-spot. I am pleased to announce that my initial suspicions were incorrect – the Alumina Revolve is a gorgeous double-sided dildo that performs as well as it looks.

The curved design is a preference of mine because it often makes accurate thrusting against my g-spot easier, for both myself and my lover. And if I want more pressure, I can easily push down on the end I’m holding, thus pushing the end inside up against my g-spot even harder. It’s perfect. The glory of the Alumina Revolve is that the side with only one bulb at the end is large enough that you probably won’t need a curved design in order to hit your g-spot. Thrust, lean back, sigh. It’s also good for partnered play for that reason as well – he or she doesn’t have to worry quite so much about continually hitting just the right spot inside of you.

At 8 inches in length and 1 3/8 inch in diameter, the Alumina Revolve is long enough for you or a lover to hold either end comfortably. This is especially important when squirting. My only complaint for my other two g-spot loving toys – the njoy Fun Wand and the LELO Gigi – is that their small design can make them difficult to handle once the juices start flowing. If you’re like me and your orgasms are best with continual thrusting through to the very delicious, overwhelming end, then of course any slippery disruption to the thrusting is frustrating.

The length of the Alumina Revolve is also handy (heh, get it, handle, handy) when using it for anal play. I would not normally suggest using a toy that does not have a flared base anally, but as long as you’re careful to hold onto the Alumina Revolve tightly, it should not cause you a problem. You’d have to REALLY not be paying attention to get this 8 inch long toy stuck in your own or someone else’s ass. Besides, those rippling, graduating bulbs on the other end of the Alumina Revolve sort of beg to be in your ass, don’t they?

Or was it my ass that was begging? It’s hard to keep track of these things sometimes.

In any case, it feels very good without being much of a strain on your behind, thus making
it an excellent warm-up toy or easy addition to a masturbation session. If you want a different option for play, every Alumina product is capable of being unscrewed and attached to another. I’ll let Joseph elaborate on that and the clean up (which is a snap).
In case you’re incredibly dense and hadn’t noticed it yet, I am really impressed with this toy. Really. It has enlightened me. I feel like I need to make a pilgrimage to Tantus. I won’t, but you know, that’s how I feel.

Joseph

Although she tested it while I was out, I can attest that Mimi’s drooling praise is 100 percent genuine. There was quite a wet spot on the sheet AND a wet towel AND a smirking Mimi with the purple wonder not far away when I returned.

Even from my perspective, I have to say this is one hell of a toy. It is beautiful, safe, and very functional. What more could you possibly ask?

The box claims that it is made from aeronautical aluminum. Frankly, I don’t know what that means. What I do know is that it is made from anodized aluminum. I will spare you the technical process, but basically that means that it is aluminum that has been chemically and electrically bound to its coating. The benefit of this process is that the Revolve is easily disinfected and much more durable than traditional aluminum. It is also one of the most environmentally safe metal treating processes. It is also fully recyclable. That’s a good thing.

Ok, I know you don’t give a shit about the process by which it is made, so I’ll drop that. Let’s move on to cleaning!

To clean:

Use warm soapy water or put in dishwasher (oh snap).

To disinfect:

Clean with 10% bleach solution or boil.

Quite easy.

Aside from being easy to clean, the Alumina line has another great feature: They are interchangeable!

There are four products in this line and they all come apart roughly in the middle. The ends can then be swapped as you see fit. Any end will fit into any other end. The screw in the middle comes out so you can swap male and female ends. Head on over to Tantus’ website and look at the full line: Pace, Motion, Flow, and Revolve.

We haven’t gotten our hands on any of the others yet, but we hope to someday. Until then we’re more than happy with the Revolve by itself.

P.S.

The Alumina line retains temperature remarkably well. This means that a dunk in a warm glass of water makes it sooo niiiiice. But, if you leave in your cold ass bedside table and try and use it, you’ll receive a squeal and a smack for sure.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics:

Ease of Cleaning:

Functionality:

Overall:

FUCK YEAH purple rock star!

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!