Guest Review: Orchid G + Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot (V and Z)

Orchid G + Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot provided for review by Babeland

Zinaida

To begin with, I just want to say that on a whole, I haven’t been entirely interested in G-spot toys, or actually, the G-spot. This could be for a couple of reasons: 1) I’m fairly a newbie when it comes to sex, so I’m still completely enamored by the clit, or 2) While I know a ton about the G-spot, I’ve never really been pushed to try it—sometimes I have a hard time changing from something that’s tried and true. So, I was pretty excited to receive the Orchid G and The Smart Girl’s Guide to G-spot combo.

Opening the package for the vibrator though, the only thing I could think was, “Shit, this thing is huge!” I’m not gonna lie, I was rather intimidated by it. Its widest point is 1-3/8”, and it’s barely smaller than a large egg, as you can tell by the picture. The vibrations in this baby are hella strong though. You turn on the vibrator by twisting the bottom, and it increases in intensity the more you twist. The Orchid G on low is comparable to the Babeland Bullet on high. When V was using it for clit stimulation, I was straddling her shin, and I could feel the vibrations from her leg bone (which could make for some interesting play).

Overall though, I couldn’t get the vibe in. Ok, ok—I didn’t even TRY to get the vibe in. As I was trying and it got close, I tensed up so much I knew it was going to be hopeless. Wondering if other people had the same problem, I went on the Babeland site and looked at reviews for the Orchid G, and sure enough there were a small handful of people who said that it was too big for insertion, very hard (it’s made out of plastic), or awkward. It is waterproof though, which is always great bonus in a toy.

The partner to this combo, The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot by Violet Blue, is an extremely educational book. For those who don’t know a lot about the G-spot and would like to, this book would be a great place to start. She outlines female anatomy, finding the G-spot and what to do with it, tips for talking about it with a partner, and female ejaculation. The book is an easy read, and it’s nice having lots of G-spot information in one place. The very end also has an index of online shopping, resources, recommended reading, and safe sex information.

However, I did have a couple of problems with the book:

1. There are four porn interludes written by erotica writer Alison Tyler. Now, I could go off on how these stories were filled with your classic cheesy porn type of writing, or how some of them gave off an anti-feminist air, but I won’t. I will say, however, that these stories seemed like propaganda. They were simply a reiteration in story form of what Violet Blue had already written, and that plus the bad writing were off-putting to me.

2. Toward the end of the book, the G-spot almost disappears completely. Instead, the writing begins to focus on anal sex, clit stimulation, and BDSM. But, more on that later.

Overall, I do think that this is a good combo set. The vibrator seems great; my body just needs a smaller one. The book is very informative, but I felt like by the end of it I should have wanted to explore G-spot stimulation. Instead, I’m still not that interested in trying it out yet.

Vita

Before I say anything else, I think Babeland has a great idea in selling these two together; I’m all for combo sets that save you money. However, this one, to me, had two major flaws.

As a girl who only wears junior size tampons, I was a little startled by the Orchid G. Things never look quite as big online as they do in real life. This was the cause of Flaw #1: the Orchid G proved too big for little me, even with lube. As a clitoral vibrator, it’s great; it’s actually the strongest of all my toys (yes, everything I own is still battery-operated), and that was a fun discovery. Its Very Big Head felt great against me, and the twist at the bottom to control it was convenient enough. That same Very Big Head, though, has yet to fit where the book said I should put it. This seems like a shame, since the combination of strong vibrations and Very Big Head promises to be delightful…one day.

Now, onto the book. I’ve heard about it before but never had the chance to read it; g-spots intrigue me but I’m mostly an external stimulation kind of girl. Nonetheless, I found the first half of the book full of information that made me a little bit more curious than I had been. The writing style occasionally can be too cutesy for my taste, but the background, anatomy lesson, and general informative tidbits were useful and interesting. I have two major qualms with this book, however, that I’m adding up to make Flaw #2.

First, an entire chapter as well as parts of other chapters felt completely unnecessary and unrelated, like Z mentioned. Chapter 6, entitled “faster, deeper, more!”, was supposedly about ways to enhance g-spot play; specifically, she went into detail about anal sex, oral sex, and power play. And she did indeed go into detail: she covered the basics of anal, plugged her book The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, and gave a variety of S/M options that seemed likely to scare off a beginner. In each section was a brief reference to how playing with the g-spot was great in addition to these tactics, but it felt tacked on, and I didn’t need pages on “Getting Started with Anal Penetration” to tell me that.

Second, there was erotica. Don’t get me wrong – I love erotica, when it’s well written and I’m in the perfect mood to enjoy it. But when I’m halfway through learning about my g-spot and I’m hesitant about the entire ordeal, a short story that feels like thinly veiled propaganda (to steal Z’s analogy) isn’t going to do anybody any good. I know it’s impossible to please everyone when it comes to erotica, but I feel like the chances aren’t in Violet Blue’s favor. Not only did the stories come across as didactic and/or forced, but they were unnecessary. I almost didn’t read the last two, but I’m glad I did, because they introduced me to great phrases like “to collect a fresh dose of your honeyed juices” and “I’m going to take you even further—to a tropical island called ‘coming together’”—not really what I cared about in an otherwise educational read.

All that said, there was a good deal of information in the book, and I wouldn’t by any means discount it. I wasn’t as huge a fan as I expected to be, but it’s certainly not a bad book. I love the idea of packaging it together with a vibrator to make the exploration that Violet Blue talks about at length convenient and easy, but at least for us, this combination didn’t do it. Now, if there were vibrator or size options for the combo, that could come closer to doing the trick. In the meantime, though, I’m quickly becoming a fan of the Orchid G for clit stimulation.

The Naked Truth

Orchid G

Aesthetics: ★★★★☆

Intensity: ★★★★☆

Volume: ★★★½☆

Ease of Cleaning: ★★★★★

Functionality: ★★★★★ (well, for external use)

Overall: ★★★★☆

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot

Aesthetics: ★★★★★

Educational Value: ★★★★★

Quality of Writing: ★★★☆☆

Entertainment Value: ★★☆☆☆

Overall: ★★★½☆

Awww, what a cute pussy.

X: The Erotic Treasury

This time we are reviewing X: The Erotic Treasury

Her with the Treasury and her favorite toy

This book was sent to us by our friends at Babeland

Joseph

I don’t actually have that much experiance reading erotica so I feel that I may have been somewhat more harsh on the qaulity of writing than is fair. For the most part, I found that the stories were varied and interesting as far as subject matter goes (fetishes galore) but that the actual craft of story telling left something to be desired.

Understand that each story is by a different author so there is of course a wide variety of style within the book. That means that while some of the authors did not appeal to me personally, others I found to be very well crafted.

The range of subject matter is truly astounding. There are 40 stories contained within the stylish red binding and each one focuses on a different fetish or sexual specificity. The nice thing about that is that you are bound to find something that you can appreciate. The problem there is that each story is so specific, you may only find one thing that apeals to you.

The bottom line for this book in my opinion is that it is a compilation. That means that if you are looking for a book to turn you on with each page, this is not it.

However, if you are interested in learning more about erotica in all of its various forms, this book is an excellent starting place. You will certainly be able to find something that you like and go from there.

Mimi

Reading erotica usually does more for me than watching pornographic films, probably because I can imagine people to my liking, instead of being faced with tanned, waxed, plasticized human-like beings getting it on. Most often, they remind me too much of the Barbie dolls I had as a child. (Coincidentally, they also fucked each other and had orgies. My bisexuality may in part be blamed on the fact that I only had one Ken doll, and he didn’t even have a dick.) It’s not sexy.

So when we ordered The Erotic Treasury, I was rather excited about the prospect of having a whole new book full of stories that are likely to arouse. Considering it’s a collection of stories, brought together by editor Susie Bright, I thought there’s bound to be at least a few kinky stories to my preference, and even some sick, twisted shit to make me laugh or squirm.

When it arrived and I held the dark, elegantly crafted book in my hands, I expected less of the sick and twisted, more of the well-written and sensual. It’s a book that I wouldn’t mind leaving out in the living room on my book shelf. Granted, I’m not really a shy or shameful girl, but let’s say my hyper-conservative mom comes over and looks at my books for whatever reason. Knowing she saw The Erotic Treasury won’t make either of us feel to disturbingly awkward. It’s pretty and doesn’t really give away the kinky exploits within.

That said, this book is quite kinky.

One story after another dives into a particular fetish – shoes, spanking, lactation, vegetables, etc. – and notably, there’s not necessarily sexual intercourse involved. I can respect that. BDSM, for example, can often be intensely sexual without explicitly involving sex. (Hopefully it does eventually, though, right? Right.) Many of the stories demonstrate an understanding or appreciation of the psychology of desire, of how the most erotic moments of our lives might have little to do with physical penetration.

My only complaint is that many of the stories are so specific in their primary modes of attraction that despite being, for the most part, well-written, a reader might feel a strong reaction and connection to only a few stories in the collection of forty. Some of the humorous or novelty characteristics end up distracting from instead of contributing to the stories. However, even if the fetish within a story is not your idea of a good time at all, the writers often describe the sensations associated with desire and sex well enough that it’s often at least a littlearousing. If nothing else, it’ll spark your imagination.

The Naked Truth

Design: ★★★★★

Readability: ★★★★☆

Educational Value: N/A

Overall: ★★★★☆