The Alumina Revolve provided for review by ProductEROTICA.com (their site seems to be down, but they really did send it to us.)

Mimi

When looking at the Alumina Revolve, in all of its shiny purple aluminum splendor, I suspected it might just be a nice looking toy with mediocre results. (Of course it looks good. It’s a Tantus product.) There are those sensual, smooth bulbs to consider, certainly, but it’s straight instead of curved, and curved toys tend to be the winners of my g-spot. I am pleased to announce that my initial suspicions were incorrect – the Alumina Revolve is a gorgeous double-sided dildo that performs as well as it looks.

The curved design is a preference of mine because it often makes accurate thrusting against my g-spot easier, for both myself and my lover. And if I want more pressure, I can easily push down on the end I’m holding, thus pushing the end inside up against my g-spot even harder. It’s perfect. The glory of the Alumina Revolve is that the side with only one bulb at the end is large enough that you probably won’t need a curved design in order to hit your g-spot. Thrust, lean back, sigh. It’s also good for partnered play for that reason as well – he or she doesn’t have to worry quite so much about continually hitting just the right spot inside of you.

At 8 inches in length and 1 3/8 inch in diameter, the Alumina Revolve is long enough for you or a lover to hold either end comfortably. This is especially important when squirting. My only complaint for my other two g-spot loving toys – the njoy Fun Wand and the LELO Gigi – is that their small design can make them difficult to handle once the juices start flowing. If you’re like me and your orgasms are best with continual thrusting through to the very delicious, overwhelming end, then of course any slippery disruption to the thrusting is frustrating.

The length of the Alumina Revolve is also handy (heh, get it, handle, handy) when using it for anal play. I would not normally suggest using a toy that does not have a flared base anally, but as long as you’re careful to hold onto the Alumina Revolve tightly, it should not cause you a problem. You’d have to REALLY not be paying attention to get this 8 inch long toy stuck in your own or someone else’s ass. Besides, those rippling, graduating bulbs on the other end of the Alumina Revolve sort of beg to be in your ass, don’t they?

Or was it my ass that was begging? It’s hard to keep track of these things sometimes.

In any case, it feels very good without being much of a strain on your behind, thus making
it an excellent warm-up toy or easy addition to a masturbation session. If you want a different option for play, every Alumina product is capable of being unscrewed and attached to another. I’ll let Joseph elaborate on that and the clean up (which is a snap).
In case you’re incredibly dense and hadn’t noticed it yet, I am really impressed with this toy. Really. It has enlightened me. I feel like I need to make a pilgrimage to Tantus. I won’t, but you know, that’s how I feel.

Joseph

Although she tested it while I was out, I can attest that Mimi’s drooling praise is 100 percent genuine. There was quite a wet spot on the sheet AND a wet towel AND a smirking Mimi with the purple wonder not far away when I returned.

Even from my perspective, I have to say this is one hell of a toy. It is beautiful, safe, and very functional. What more could you possibly ask?

The box claims that it is made from aeronautical aluminum. Frankly, I don’t know what that means. What I do know is that it is made from anodized aluminum. I will spare you the technical process, but basically that means that it is aluminum that has been chemically and electrically bound to its coating. The benefit of this process is that the Revolve is easily disinfected and much more durable than traditional aluminum. It is also one of the most environmentally safe metal treating processes. It is also fully recyclable. That’s a good thing.

Ok, I know you don’t give a shit about the process by which it is made, so I’ll drop that. Let’s move on to cleaning!

To clean:

Use warm soapy water or put in dishwasher (oh snap).

To disinfect:

Clean with 10% bleach solution or boil.

Quite easy.

Aside from being easy to clean, the Alumina line has another great feature: They are interchangeable!

There are four products in this line and they all come apart roughly in the middle. The ends can then be swapped as you see fit. Any end will fit into any other end. The screw in the middle comes out so you can swap male and female ends. Head on over to Tantus’ website and look at the full line: Pace, Motion, Flow, and Revolve.

We haven’t gotten our hands on any of the others yet, but we hope to someday. Until then we’re more than happy with the Revolve by itself.

P.S.

The Alumina line retains temperature remarkably well. This means that a dunk in a warm glass of water makes it sooo niiiiice. But, if you leave in your cold ass bedside table and try and use it, you’ll receive a squeal and a smack for sure.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics:

Ease of Cleaning:

Functionality:

Overall:

FUCK YEAH purple rock star!

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Divine Vibrator provided by Babeland

Joseph

The Divine Vibe by Doc. Johnson is somewhat less than divine. Or at least, that what it seems like from my perspective.

That’s the thing, my perspective, as one without a vagina is somewhat limited about things like g-spot stimulators and vibrators meant to be inserted into said non-existent vagina. Therefore, I’ll just break down the dimensions and logistics of this bad mama jama.

The Divine Vibe is an 8” x 1 ¾” variable speed vibrator that has a curvature intended to stimulate the G-spot internally. It is made of ABS (the same stuff as Lego blocks) plastic which is a durable and recyclable plastic made comprised of a mix of elastomer, rubber, and hard plastic. ABS will dissolve when exposed to acetone, so no harsh cleaners.

The vibe comes in two colors, “Yin and Yang” (read: Black and White to the non-marketing goon) and is packaged in a mostly clear plastic container that says “Harmony” for reasons we cannot discern.  It takes two AAA batteries which are not included and has a single button to control the speeds (low, medium, high). I feel kind of silly because it seems like I should be able to figure this out, but there is a symbol on the box and the bottom to the vibe that confuses me. It is a trashcan with a big X over it. I guess this means that this toy must not be thrown away…so….what should you do with it when you are finished getting in sync with your inner core? This? Really, click on that link. It is worth it.

As far as using it on someone, it is pretty easy on the hand. The big, bulbous base makes it very easy to grip and maneuver and the ABS keeps the temp nice and slightly cool.

Because if you don’t “close cap tightly” bad things could happen.

Mimi

Let me just start by saying that I have an odd relationship with g-spot vibrating toys. I tend to dislike them. (I’ll write more about this for our upcoming Lelo Gigi review.) Still, I am open to experimentation and Doc. Johnson’s Divine Vibe could be used in various other ways, so I decided to give it a try.

I received the Yin (black) Doc. Johnson’s Divine Vibe and after pressing the button down toward the battery compartment three times to feel the three different settings, I was pretty convinced that I might actually have a clitoral orgasm with this toy. The low and middle setting are worthy yet the highest setting is the one I used the most.

It didn’t happen. I tried on several occasions, and although it felt good, it didn’t feel close to good enough. I ended up pulling out my Hitachi every time.

We decided that Joseph should use it on me while I use the Hitachi to see how it feels inside me as well as handled by another person.

That was a whole lot of vibrating.

Due to the width and shape of the Divine Vibe, I felt rather “full” while it was inside me. Eventually I had a clitoral orgasm, which felt good. It was a slow burn.

Then I went to wash the Divine Vibe and realized there is a tiny crevice between the “head” of the vibrator and those three ridges in the center. This tiny crevice is a collector, and it is hard to clean. At least it’s waterproof and you can submerge and scrub to your heart’s content. Maybe you don’t care about something as tiny as that crevice.

Maybe you should go masturbate with some Legos then. At least you could build cool shit afterwards.

As I mentioned, it is waterproof and it functions really well as a vibrator that lives in the bathroom and is used on my clit occasionally in the shower as a warm-up. And it does feel great in that capacity. It teases while stimulating because you need more, and that’s where other toys or partners come in. Hopefully.

Divine? More like Pretty Good to Have Around.

The Naked Truth:

Intensity:

Volume:

Aesthetic design:

Versatility:

Ease of cleaning:

Overall:

Jesus: Yo, B! Who the hell is this lumpy fool?

Buddha: I dunno, but he a jive-ass sucka!

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!