Guest Review: Orchid G + Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot (V and Z)

Orchid G + Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot provided for review by Babeland

Zinaida

To begin with, I just want to say that on a whole, I haven’t been entirely interested in G-spot toys, or actually, the G-spot. This could be for a couple of reasons: 1) I’m fairly a newbie when it comes to sex, so I’m still completely enamored by the clit, or 2) While I know a ton about the G-spot, I’ve never really been pushed to try it—sometimes I have a hard time changing from something that’s tried and true. So, I was pretty excited to receive the Orchid G and The Smart Girl’s Guide to G-spot combo.

Opening the package for the vibrator though, the only thing I could think was, “Shit, this thing is huge!” I’m not gonna lie, I was rather intimidated by it. Its widest point is 1-3/8”, and it’s barely smaller than a large egg, as you can tell by the picture. The vibrations in this baby are hella strong though. You turn on the vibrator by twisting the bottom, and it increases in intensity the more you twist. The Orchid G on low is comparable to the Babeland Bullet on high. When V was using it for clit stimulation, I was straddling her shin, and I could feel the vibrations from her leg bone (which could make for some interesting play).

Overall though, I couldn’t get the vibe in. Ok, ok—I didn’t even TRY to get the vibe in. As I was trying and it got close, I tensed up so much I knew it was going to be hopeless. Wondering if other people had the same problem, I went on the Babeland site and looked at reviews for the Orchid G, and sure enough there were a small handful of people who said that it was too big for insertion, very hard (it’s made out of plastic), or awkward. It is waterproof though, which is always great bonus in a toy.

The partner to this combo, The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot by Violet Blue, is an extremely educational book. For those who don’t know a lot about the G-spot and would like to, this book would be a great place to start. She outlines female anatomy, finding the G-spot and what to do with it, tips for talking about it with a partner, and female ejaculation. The book is an easy read, and it’s nice having lots of G-spot information in one place. The very end also has an index of online shopping, resources, recommended reading, and safe sex information.

However, I did have a couple of problems with the book:

1. There are four porn interludes written by erotica writer Alison Tyler. Now, I could go off on how these stories were filled with your classic cheesy porn type of writing, or how some of them gave off an anti-feminist air, but I won’t. I will say, however, that these stories seemed like propaganda. They were simply a reiteration in story form of what Violet Blue had already written, and that plus the bad writing were off-putting to me.

2. Toward the end of the book, the G-spot almost disappears completely. Instead, the writing begins to focus on anal sex, clit stimulation, and BDSM. But, more on that later.

Overall, I do think that this is a good combo set. The vibrator seems great; my body just needs a smaller one. The book is very informative, but I felt like by the end of it I should have wanted to explore G-spot stimulation. Instead, I’m still not that interested in trying it out yet.

Vita

Before I say anything else, I think Babeland has a great idea in selling these two together; I’m all for combo sets that save you money. However, this one, to me, had two major flaws.

As a girl who only wears junior size tampons, I was a little startled by the Orchid G. Things never look quite as big online as they do in real life. This was the cause of Flaw #1: the Orchid G proved too big for little me, even with lube. As a clitoral vibrator, it’s great; it’s actually the strongest of all my toys (yes, everything I own is still battery-operated), and that was a fun discovery. Its Very Big Head felt great against me, and the twist at the bottom to control it was convenient enough. That same Very Big Head, though, has yet to fit where the book said I should put it. This seems like a shame, since the combination of strong vibrations and Very Big Head promises to be delightful…one day.

Now, onto the book. I’ve heard about it before but never had the chance to read it; g-spots intrigue me but I’m mostly an external stimulation kind of girl. Nonetheless, I found the first half of the book full of information that made me a little bit more curious than I had been. The writing style occasionally can be too cutesy for my taste, but the background, anatomy lesson, and general informative tidbits were useful and interesting. I have two major qualms with this book, however, that I’m adding up to make Flaw #2.

First, an entire chapter as well as parts of other chapters felt completely unnecessary and unrelated, like Z mentioned. Chapter 6, entitled “faster, deeper, more!”, was supposedly about ways to enhance g-spot play; specifically, she went into detail about anal sex, oral sex, and power play. And she did indeed go into detail: she covered the basics of anal, plugged her book The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, and gave a variety of S/M options that seemed likely to scare off a beginner. In each section was a brief reference to how playing with the g-spot was great in addition to these tactics, but it felt tacked on, and I didn’t need pages on “Getting Started with Anal Penetration” to tell me that.

Second, there was erotica. Don’t get me wrong – I love erotica, when it’s well written and I’m in the perfect mood to enjoy it. But when I’m halfway through learning about my g-spot and I’m hesitant about the entire ordeal, a short story that feels like thinly veiled propaganda (to steal Z’s analogy) isn’t going to do anybody any good. I know it’s impossible to please everyone when it comes to erotica, but I feel like the chances aren’t in Violet Blue’s favor. Not only did the stories come across as didactic and/or forced, but they were unnecessary. I almost didn’t read the last two, but I’m glad I did, because they introduced me to great phrases like “to collect a fresh dose of your honeyed juices” and “I’m going to take you even further—to a tropical island called ‘coming together’”—not really what I cared about in an otherwise educational read.

All that said, there was a good deal of information in the book, and I wouldn’t by any means discount it. I wasn’t as huge a fan as I expected to be, but it’s certainly not a bad book. I love the idea of packaging it together with a vibrator to make the exploration that Violet Blue talks about at length convenient and easy, but at least for us, this combination didn’t do it. Now, if there were vibrator or size options for the combo, that could come closer to doing the trick. In the meantime, though, I’m quickly becoming a fan of the Orchid G for clit stimulation.

The Naked Truth

Orchid G

Aesthetics: ★★★★☆

Intensity: ★★★★☆

Volume: ★★★½☆

Ease of Cleaning: ★★★★★

Functionality: ★★★★★ (well, for external use)

Overall: ★★★★☆

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot

Aesthetics: ★★★★★

Educational Value: ★★★★★

Quality of Writing: ★★★☆☆

Entertainment Value: ★★☆☆☆

Overall: ★★★½☆

Awww, what a cute pussy.

Moregasm

Moregasm provided for review by Babeland

Although I’ve been a visitor to the Babeland website for years and have seen pictures of their stores, I’ve never actually been to one. I suspect reading their new book Moregasm is much like walking through the Babeland door, looking around, and having helpful employees answer all of your questions. In terms of design and photography, Moregasm follows an aesthetic that is hip, fun, colourful, and easy to read. It’s 800 times less embarrassing than sneaking a peak at your mom’s copy of some such sex guide made in the 60’s with two skinny, monster bushy lookin’ people “making love” on the cover. It’s also much safer than trusting some random sex blogger on the internet. (Ha!)

Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning, the founders of Babeland, enlisted the help of Jessica Vitkus (writer), Sarah Small (photographer), and Headcase Design (duh) to bring Moregasm together. All involved deserve a big pat on the back. Not only is the book very informative – even for bold sexual adventurers who have a big cowboy belt buckle proclaiming, “been there, fucked that” – it also navigates the sticky terrain of not being too heavily biased toward Babeland products really well. They do an excellent job of presenting information in an exciting, yet easy to understand and comforting way. I wish this book had been there for me as a pre-teen. I probably would have still made some bad decisions, but I’d have this snazzy sex book to show off to my girlfriends!

Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh

As you may be able to tell from the pictures and my tone, it is precisely the youthful “hip-ness” of this book that may make older people feel silly or out of place when reading it. I’m not saying they wouldn’t find any of its information useful. My grandmother revealed to me a few months ago that until then my grandfather had never removed her bra. It’s a small example, but you get my point. I would urge any older man or woman reading this book to try seeing it as a new adventure, and not their sad attempt at being young and cool. (Please don’t torture yourself like that. If you don’t believe me because I’m too damn young to know any better, head over to Joan Price’s blog. She’s a smart lady.)

The only disappointment was in “The Satisfied Customer: The Lube Guide” section. It gives a brief introduction to lubricants – not mentioning SILICONE lube, by the way – and then offers three examples of Babeland water-based lubricants. In case you didn’t know, there are many, many, many different kinds of lube. Some are better than others, some are more expensive than others. It depends on your needs. When I was open to those two pages, I felt like I was reading a Babeland advertisement, not a guide to lubricant. Why did they not show an extensive variety as they did for other products like vibrators and anal toys? I don’t know. Since they did suggest a wider variety of products later in the book, I don’t see any reason to take huge issue with it. It’s just a little baffling, that’s all.

Lubricant is important, especially if you have problems with self-lubrication (which as Moregasm points out, may or may not be related to your level of desire) or for anal play, so I would suggest doing some research aside from what Moregasm offers in its pages.

Thankfully, several resources are listed in the back of Moregasm, from “BDSM” to “Youth”, so you can look up more information on topics of interest. It’s a nice continuation of the educate-yourself, sex-positive attitude.

I would eat both of those things. Possibly at the same time.

Joseph

Mimi has done an excellent job of covering Moregasm. I will play the part of the downer and add one final note.

Remember that this book is written by a sex product retailer and they sell everything that they promote in the book. Now as Mimi said, Babeland has done a great job of not being too biased in their promotions, but the fact still remains that they have a vested interest in promoting the products they promote.

So look through its hip and easily approachable pages. Take away lots and lots and lots of sex positive information. Say “Hallelujah, Woot, or Hells Fucking Yes” (whichever you prefer) that a business like Babeland exists.

Just be sure to do a little independent research before buying anything. = )

And now…a tap dance!

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: ★★★★☆

Educational Value: ★★★★★

Quality of Writing: ★★★★★

Entertainment Value: ★★★★½

Overall: ★★★★½

If you’re hungry for more, check out their first book: Sex Toys 101