Triple Crown Vibrating Beads provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

I am rather inexperienced with anal toys of all kinds. The only one that I’ve ever used other than the Bona Dea (what this product is called everywhere but Babeland) is the Flexi Felix. With that in mind, I do not endorse this product.

Although it feels pretty good when you actually get it in and all the beads are vibrating, it has some HUGE design flaws that prevent its comfortable use. But before I get into that, let’s talk about its construction.

The Bona Dea is a set of three beads with an independently controlled vibrating bullet in each bead. It is 6-1/2″ x 1-1/8″ and is made from 100% silicone which makes it silky smooth and easy to disinfect. The bullets are made from hard plastic, have a push-button on/off control and last for about 40 minutes. They take two LR41 (tiny watch) batteries a piece. These batteries will run you about $ .50 each if you need to replace them.

Now that you have an idea of just what it is, allow me to tear it to shreds. I have enough complaints that I am actually going to employ the list method of bitching. It is more scientific.

1. Those fucking vibrating bullets: They need TWO tiny little batteries to work and only last for 40 minutes. They are made of hard plastic which means that they cannot be disinfected. They twist apart so you can replace the aforementioned tiny batteries. That means there is a large opportunity for feces and bacteria to get inside of them and fester. The on/off control is placed in the same spot that you have to push in order to insert the Bona Dea. That makes accidentally turning them on and off inevitable.
2. The removal key: This is an included metal hook that is the only way to remove those fucking vibrating bullets. You must cram it down the hole that a bullet rests in, turn in 90 degrees, and then yank it out hard. Think about that for a moment. BEFORE you can clean this thing that has been in an ass, you must grab it, shove a metal thing down a small hole, then pull a hard plastic bullet that has also been in said ass out and it ain’t easy. You have to hold on to the beads to have enough leverage to pull the bullet out. F-U-N! Oh yeah, the key can scratch the beads or the bullets creating new crevices for bacteria.
3. The holes that the bullets go into: These serve as somewhat of a colon shovel. Enough said.
4. The linkage method of the beads: The beads are not linked in the middle like normal anal beads (0-0-0) but are linked at the edges (0_0_0). This both makes them harder to remove and makes the colon shovels more effective by stretching them upon removal. Sheesh.

Bona Dea FAIL!

It seems like it would be better to embed the bullets completely and make them rechargeable rather than the arduous and clumsily method chosen. Then the linking method could be properly done, the thing could be properly cleaned, and I wouldn’t be so infuriated.

Oooo-Sexy

Mimi

Wow… what to say… what to say…

He’s right. Pulling the Bona Dea from its stylish packaging, it looks impressive and exciting. Vibrating beads in my ass? That sounds fantastic. I’ll try anything twice.

I did try it – numerous times, actually. It does feel good once you insert them, accidentally turning one off in the process, and as they come out vibrating on an orgasmic wave. All of that is fine or great even.

Then cleaning them is terrible and not worth the previous pleasure. I repeat, Not Worth The Previous Pleasure. Even if you do it immediately, build up can occur inside the vibrating bullets, and it has for us as I’m sure it does for everyone. The poo will go where it will. Try getting it out of those little bullet crevices without damaging it. I dare you. Post a YouTube video. Convince me, please.

It won’t matter, though, because I’m totally throwing it out. Now.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics:

Ease of Cleaning:

Retention:

Experience Level:

Overall:

Good looks will only take you so far…

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Vibratex’s Tumbelina provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

The Thumbelina is what is commonly referred to as a rabbit or dual stimulation vibe. It’s pretty obvious why. They are designed with dual stimulation in mind; Internal (often G-spot) stimulation and external clitoral. The rabbit name comes from the fact that the clitoral tickler resembles the ears of a rabbit. Sometimes it is even in the shape of a rabbit.

This one in particular is made with G-spot stimulation in mind. It has a bulbous head that is motorized to rotate at a variable speed. The clitoral tickler also has a variable speed motor. In theory, this should stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris with minimal work on your part. I don’t know about you, but I am digging the trend in female sex toys to be more and more automated. Several of them require little to no effort. You just plug them in, turn them on, lay back and enjoy. The downside to toys that do all the work for you is that they are not much fun for partnered use. For example, the Thumbelina is designed in such a way that it is not necessary to move it once you find the sweet spot and dial it up. Not really much for a second person to do except enjoy the show. Don’t get me wrong, watching a beautiful woman pleasure herself is nothing to complain about, but there is always something to be said for teamwork. Before you send me an email about it, I know that it is a MASTURBATION toy and so it is fine for it to be catered to solo use. But…we’re a married couple and we’re going to make observations like that. Deal.

Thinner than most of the dual vibes that I’ve seen, the Thumbelina is 3-3/4” x 1-1/4” and made of transparent purple elastomer. That, of course, means that it cannot be sterilized so you must use a condom with it if sharing with someone you are not fluid bonded with. I imagine that could be somewhat tricky due to the bullet that juts out of the side of this thing.

It is powered by 4 AAA batteries and goes WHUANG-WHUANG-WHUANG when it is activated. Not only are its gyrations somewhat comical, but they are LOUD too. And don’t think that having it in your vag will help. Doesn’t muffle the sound at all.

Mimi

I did not like my first experience with a rabbit vibrator (Rockin’ Robin), in fact I hated it, but I decided not long after beginning our review site that I’d keep trying them to see if one could do it for me. The Thumbelina is not the one, if such a rabbit vibrator exists.

Simply, it does not hit my g-spot unless I tilt it in such a way that my clit is neglected and vice versa for my clit. The clit normally wins because it feels better and I’m more likely to orgasm, but even still the vibration lacks enough oomph to push me beyond warm up. And obviously why bother with a toy designed to stimulate my g-spot and my clit to only (sort of) stimulate one of them? To that, I say pshaw.

Although it would be a fantastic luxury to be able to stimulate both with only one toy, it seems like a stretch in my mind. My body has special, specific needs for specific areas, shaped and sometimes inhibited by my own desires. Many women that I know function the same way. It’s one of the reasons why we buy bikinis as separates. Or why buying jeans is NOT an easy task.

The best thing going for the Thumbelina is the vibration and rotation control panel. It’s very easy to maneuver while using the toy. It may be the only stand out thing about it, other than the unnecessarily loud noises it makes. As Joseph mentioned, the toy is loud – loud enough that you should not use it while someone is in the next room unless you have loud music playing. There is some bumpy texture on the surface of the Thumbelina, but it does little to make the toy more appealing.

Basically, I would not recommend the Thumbelina to anyone. Sad, but true.

The Naked Truth:

Intensity:

Volume:

Aesthetic design:

Versatility:

Ease of cleaning:

Overall:

The only good thing about this toy is that you can make it rave.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!

Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox provided for review by Tunti Enterprises

Mimi

Tabu Toys and Tunti answered our plea for a special case to hold our collection of sex toys, and we are really appreciative of both, but I have to admit the Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox (referred to from now on as Tunti Toybox) is much fancier, as the name suggests. As one would expect, it’s also significantly more expensive.

It feels and looks pretty durable, although it arrived with a dent in it. (I’m not suspicious of Tunti sending us an already dented box, by the way.) It seems more like a camera case or a lock box than a make-up bag, which is what some other cases I’ve seen online resemble. This makes the Tunti Toybox much more gender neutral, too, if that matters to you. The interior is 12 x 10 x 5, so it can fit virtually everything you need inside it. The only must-haves that I couldn’t make room for were the Hitachi Magic Wand and the Leather and Chrome Crop.

The inside is lined with a dark gray, soft yet firm foam, which the website claims to be color-fast and easy to clean. The top lid of the case is lined with crushed purple velvet and this adds a very slight touch of colour and sensuality to otherwise austere case.

My favourite aspect of the Tunti case is the fact that you can continually rearrange it according to your needs – the dividers are adjustable so you’re not stuck with any particular size. I despise it when a company predetermines the size for an organizing tool or accessory (such as a wallet) and then I’m stuck with something that suits my needs to a limited degree. There are four dividers and one center pink plexiglas divider. The pink plexiglas divider is not adjustable, which can be mildly annoying, but it certainly helps to keep toys and lube and batteries in their designated “homes”. And the plexiglas is not attached so you can remove it completely. There two mesh pockets that assist to this end as well.

The four LED two AA battery powered lights are certainly functional in the sense that you don’t have to find and turn on a lamp or light switch in the dark to find your condoms, lube, or vibrator. Thus, if you are not alone and do not wish to expose yourself to bright lights, then this feature is really helpful and comforting. It’s not a selling point for me personally, but I can see the value in it. Sometimes those overhead lights are simply too much.

The Tunti Toybox can be locked and it comes with two keys, so this is an added layer of privacy. I say ‘added’ because the box itself does not scream SEX TOYS AND OTHER SEXY STUFF OH YEAH at whoever may come across the box. It could be a box you keep important papers in or mementos from a previous relationship you still want but don’t want to look at or your DVD collection of Full House which you’re too embarrassed to keep with your other DVDs in the living room… With the Tunti Toybox, you’re covered.

Another excellent characteristic of the Tunti Toybox is that it fits nicely under the bed. Space conservationists rejoice!

Unfortunately, you have to part with quite a lot of cash to get yourself a Tunti Toybox, and I am not one to advocate buying something you cannot afford. If you cannot imagine spending nearly $100 on a case for your toys, no matter how special it is, then by all means try a different case.* If you can afford to splurge on a case for your toys, condoms, lube, and so on, then I think the Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox is your best bet. If you take care of it, I’m sure it will last a long time and in a way pay for itself. I mean, these are your tools for sexual satisfaction and exploration, NOT your tampons or hair ties or belt buckles or watches or whatever the fuck. Be nice to yourself. Be nice to your toys.

* Here is a link to other suggestions people have offered in regards to toy storage

Joseph

Man, Mimi wrote one thorough review there. I really don’t feel like I have to say much to give you guys and gals a good idea of what you’re getting into with the Tunti Toybox.

I only have two things I would like to add about this product; One positive and one negative.

Positive:
Because of the sturdy design, the Tunti Toybox could easily double as a personal defense item if it needed too. If you bash somebody with this thing, they are gonna feel it.

Negative:
I’m not an electrician but it seems to me that there must be a better way to power those lights. They look like small LEDs but they are powered by two AAs in a somewhat obtrusive location. Would some watch batteries in a more streamlined location not work just as well?

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics:

Practicality:

Discretion: 

Capacity: 

Overall: 

Grabbing the wrong sex toy is a mistake no one wants.

P.S.

Tunti is currently GIVING A TUNTI ILLUMINATING BOUDOIR TOYBOX AWAY! Just follow this link, write a little haiku before the 27th, and keep your fingers crossed.

Getting Undressed is better when you tell everyone on the internet!