Our first contest was a colossal failure. We did not have a single entry. We cried a little.

Our second contest was as large a success as the first was a failure. We had a veritable smorgasbord of comments to choose from and it was a very difficult choice. It took us almost two full episodes of Gilmore Girls (yes, we are huge dorks when not being super sexy) to pick our winner.

Without further ado, the winner of the Under the Bed Restraint System provided by Babeland is Jacqueline and she said:

I’m thankful for my incredible girlfriend and the very, very few friends at our hyper-conservative school who actually know she’s my girlfriend. I love that she complements me perfectly, from being the perfect top for me to being the perfect study partner to being the perfect roommate.

Sometimes it’s so scary trying to start this life when no one can even know about it, but she’s beyond willing to try everything with me (which is also fun – and the under the bed restraints would be AMAZING (especially given the grad school applications sucking our budget away)) and I still can’t believe I got her.

That was sappy enough. XD I’m also beyond thankful for our teensy tiny toy collection that just began in February. There’s so much exciting stuff still to explore in the future!

We just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to provide a discreet lesbian with a discreet bondage system. She’ll send us pictures of how appropriate it is if we’re lucky. (Hint, hint.)

A big thanks to everyone that entered! There were so many sexy and heart-warming things to be thankful for listed. It was truly a joy to read all of the honest and thoughtful comments. We hope that you’ve had the best Thanksgiving and that you all continue to find things to be thankful for in your lives in and out of the bedroom.

Vibratex’s Tumbelina provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

The Thumbelina is what is commonly referred to as a rabbit or dual stimulation vibe. It’s pretty obvious why. They are designed with dual stimulation in mind; Internal (often G-spot) stimulation and external clitoral. The rabbit name comes from the fact that the clitoral tickler resembles the ears of a rabbit. Sometimes it is even in the shape of a rabbit.

This one in particular is made with G-spot stimulation in mind. It has a bulbous head that is motorized to rotate at a variable speed. The clitoral tickler also has a variable speed motor. In theory, this should stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris with minimal work on your part. I don’t know about you, but I am digging the trend in female sex toys to be more and more automated. Several of them require little to no effort. You just plug them in, turn them on, lay back and enjoy. The downside to toys that do all the work for you is that they are not much fun for partnered use. For example, the Thumbelina is designed in such a way that it is not necessary to move it once you find the sweet spot and dial it up. Not really much for a second person to do except enjoy the show. Don’t get me wrong, watching a beautiful woman pleasure herself is nothing to complain about, but there is always something to be said for teamwork. Before you send me an email about it, I know that it is a MASTURBATION toy and so it is fine for it to be catered to solo use. But…we’re a married couple and we’re going to make observations like that. Deal.

Thinner than most of the dual vibes that I’ve seen, the Thumbelina is 3-3/4” x 1-1/4” and made of transparent purple elastomer. That, of course, means that it cannot be sterilized so you must use a condom with it if sharing with someone you are not fluid bonded with. I imagine that could be somewhat tricky due to the bullet that juts out of the side of this thing.

It is powered by 4 AAA batteries and goes WHUANG-WHUANG-WHUANG when it is activated. Not only are its gyrations somewhat comical, but they are LOUD too. And don’t think that having it in your vag will help. Doesn’t muffle the sound at all.

Mimi

I did not like my first experience with a rabbit vibrator (Rockin’ Robin), in fact I hated it, but I decided not long after beginning our review site that I’d keep trying them to see if one could do it for me. The Thumbelina is not the one, if such a rabbit vibrator exists.

Simply, it does not hit my g-spot unless I tilt it in such a way that my clit is neglected and vice versa for my clit. The clit normally wins because it feels better and I’m more likely to orgasm, but even still the vibration lacks enough oomph to push me beyond warm up. And obviously why bother with a toy designed to stimulate my g-spot and my clit to only (sort of) stimulate one of them? To that, I say pshaw.

Although it would be a fantastic luxury to be able to stimulate both with only one toy, it seems like a stretch in my mind. My body has special, specific needs for specific areas, shaped and sometimes inhibited by my own desires. Many women that I know function the same way. It’s one of the reasons why we buy bikinis as separates. Or why buying jeans is NOT an easy task.

The best thing going for the Thumbelina is the vibration and rotation control panel. It’s very easy to maneuver while using the toy. It may be the only stand out thing about it, other than the unnecessarily loud noises it makes. As Joseph mentioned, the toy is loud – loud enough that you should not use it while someone is in the next room unless you have loud music playing. There is some bumpy texture on the surface of the Thumbelina, but it does little to make the toy more appealing.

Basically, I would not recommend the Thumbelina to anyone. Sad, but true.

The Naked Truth:

Intensity:

Volume:

Aesthetic design:

Versatility:

Ease of cleaning:

Overall:

The only good thing about this toy is that you can make it rave.

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

Rough Sex is composed of five scenes that are presented as the female performer’s real life fantasies. Adrianna Nicole and Marco Banderas act out a breaking and entering scene, Satine Phoenix plays a stranded motorist at the mercy of good samaritan Derrick Pierce, Francesca Le forces Christian to pay more attention to her – with a flogger, Marie Luv gets caught in a lie by Julius Ceazher and has to pay the price, and Sasha Grey….just fucks Danny Wylde. Each scene starts off with both performers explaining what the performers like about rough sex, what the term means to each of them, and (for the females) what the fantasy involves.

This film certainly lives up to its title. There is plenty of slapping, spitting, hair pulling, choking, and manhandling. Over the course of our relationship, Mimi and I have been discovering and pushing our sexual boundaries. Spanking, hair pulling and aggressive sex are becoming more and more common between us. We are still tender with one another when it feels right, but we also have the outlet of very aggressive, passionate sex in our repertoire. Because I have come to enjoy rough sex so much, I expected to enjoy the depictions in Rough Sex quite a lot.

I was pleased to hear the performers speak to their likes and dislikes and describe why they chose the specific partner that they did to help them make their fantasies come true. There were only a few moments within the actual sex that I found appealing, though. For the most part, this felt like just another porn movie to me. The people looked like freakish sex mannequins, the sex acts were sterilized of all emotion and the god awful porn noises were ubiquitous. The editing choices cut out almost all of the transitions and all of the safe sex practices.

Speaking of safe sex, there was a DVD extra that went over the importance of safer sex and that is the only place that it is mentioned or acknowledged as important. I understand that the idea is to portray a fantasy and that realistic depictions of anal warm up or condom or dental dam usage would interfere with that suspension of disbelief. However, the sad truth in America (thanks in large part to Abstinence Only education) is that a lot of people get most if not all of their ideas of what sex should be from the media, porn included. It seems like there must be some sort of acceptable middle ground.

I’ve made my opinions on mainstream porn pretty clear before and maybe that takes some of my credibility away but I was not excited by this film.

Mimi

I really wanted to love Rough Sex because I happen to enjoy slapping, biting, scratching, manhandling, and the like – both as the one doing and receiving. I also have a great deal of respect for Tristan Taormino. It seemed like a match made in pornographic heaven.

As you can probably tell already, that was not the case.

Satine and Derrick Pierce’s “stranded” fantasy scene and Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde’s switch scene were the most arousing and dynamic to me. Perhaps that has something to do with the roughness and power play in those scenes appearing much more natural and pleasurable to both individuals. (I have a stranded fantasy, too, which may contribute.) The connection between Satine and Derrick is continuous, and it helped me believe that domination. When she mouthed “thank you” as she lay on the ground with his cum on her bare chest, I thought, “Now that’s something I can relate to.” As Sasha and Danny exchange power and react to situations within the scene, their lusty playfulness is, again, something that feels palpable to me. I’m not interested in pure fantasy. Just as these five women are orchestrating their fantasies into reality, I’m interested in where fantasy meets our imperfect physicality.

This is why I take similar issue to Rough Sex as Joseph. I won’t bother repeating what he has said, for obvious reasons, but I want to be clear that I definitely agree with his points about the overall sterilization that occurs in this film. Like I said, I really respect Taormino and I think she has done a lot to bring subjects like anal sex, nonmonogamy, and rough sex to new audiences, but surely a balance can be created.

Technically speaking, this is a well made porn about rough sex, specifically women fulfilling their fantasies. If you don’t have similar stipulations as us when it comes to porn, you may love Rough Sex. I have to settle for only liking it.

Rough Sex? Check.