We use a system of rating metrics at the end of every review. They are the same for the same type of products. For example, we use one set of metrics for all the vibrators that we review, another set for the adult films, and yet another set for the masturbation sleeves. You get the idea.
Because ratings are meaningless if you don’t understand them, we thought it would be helpful to explain what we mean with each metric and how our rating system works.
First off, we rate on a scale of one to five. One is low or bad and five is high or good. For example, a rating of one for the volume of a vibrator means that it is rather quiet while a rating of one for sound quality in a porn means that the sound is rather bad.
Now, onto definitions of the words we use to rate:(listed alphabetically)
Aesthetics: How attractive something is, how pleasing to the eyes we find a product.
Craftsmanship: How well something is put together, the level of materials and construction.
Creativity: In reference to adult films. Just like it sounds, how creative the film is.
Consistency: In reference to lube. How thick it is. One for very runny, five for very thick.
Discretion: In reference to fetish items. How easily concealed it is.
Ease of cleaning: How much of a pain is it after? Is it ever really clean?
Ease of installation: Can you just slip it on or do you need power tools to have fun?
Educational Value: In reference to books and films. How much useful information there is.
Entertainment Value: In reference to books, films, and games. How fun/exciting it is.
Experience level: In reference to anal toys. How much practice you should have before attempting a particular toy.
Functionality: How well it does what it was intended to do.
Intensity: Just that. How intense the toy is.
Longevity: In reference to lube. How long it keeps desired area lubricated.
Retention: In reference to anal toys: How well it stays put.
Quality of writing: In reference to books. Yeah, we are professional editors. We can judge.
Safety: In reference to fetish items: Simply, how safe an item is.
Scent: In reference to lube. How strongly scented a lube is.
Tackiness: In reference to lube. How sticky a lube is.
Taste: In reference to lube. How strong of a flavor a lube has.
Versatility: In reference to lube. Can it be used for vaginal and anal? Can it be used on toys of all materials?
Volume: In reference to vibrators. The likelihood that your neighbors will call the police while you use a particular toy.
There ya go. In addition to these metrics, we always have an overall rating. That rating denotes our impression of the item. One for super-shitty, five for blow-your-socks-off awesome.