Behind the Red Door

Behind the Red Door provided for review by Good Releasing

Mimi

I’m not much of a porn buff, so not surprisingly, Carlos Batts’ Behind The Red Door is my first experience with April Flores (or Fatty D), Kelly Shibari, and Ashley Blue. April Flores is the star – making an appearance in every scene except two short masturbation scenes – and the overall aesthetic of this porn seems centered around April Flores’ colourful, bold, and feminine persona.

The premise is very simple in concept: April Flores goes from room to room, exploring the “dolls” who inhabit them – Syd Blakovich, Ashley Blue, Kelly Shibari, and Matador (an “action” figure). The visual and audio experience of behind the red door is a bit more complex, especially than your average porn, in that it employs a lot more play with editing, music, colour saturation, black and white film, and the actual moaning (or silence) of the performers themselves. It’s more like art than porn. Or given how loud the music is and how infrequently we hear moaning, slurping, or “FUCK”, it even seems like it could be a music video. A very naughty music video.

All of the scenes had their highlights, but my favourites were definitely the scenes with April Flores and Syd Blakovich (first scene) and then later April Flores and Matador. I have a bit of bias toward Syd Blakovich in that I am in love with her and have never disliked her performances. It’s true. Syd Blakovich sweating and smirking and spanking is pure awesome. However, there’s a lot of merit to this scene on its own. I never thought I could really appreciate foot play, but I got really into watching April Flores toe fuck Syd Blakovich while also sucking her toes. Their mutual aggressiveness, pleasure, and playfulness throughout this whole scene is flat out sexy, hands down. Oh, and there’s a chick money shot. Hell yes.

The scene with Matador starts out pretty humorous (the guy is wearing a costume, and you know, costumes just tickle me) and the black and white cinematography adds an element of film noir arty-ness to it. Gone are the bright colours, that vibrant hair and the sequins and the blue sparkling eyeshadow. The humor slips away pretty quickly as April Flores begins to suck Matador’s cock, getting spit on her face, messing up her hair and her makeup. While watching April Flores fuck him on the couch, I actually thought to myself, “Damn this is beautiful.” The glint of light on her face from all the sweat, spit, and tears, her hair all wild – to me, this is sex. Not that phony bullshit passed off as sex in advertisements, mainstream music videos, and general porn. Nope. April Flores brings the sex, ladies and gentlemen.

As I said, the other scenes of behind the red door had highlights – Ashley Blue’s legs (me-ow), Kelly Shibari’s giggling humor and sexy eyes, the clothing and costumes, the peculiar taxidermy “Animal Room”, the film repetition of specific moments when the performers are really enjoying themselves, the flashing lights and editing that emphasize the voyeurism taking place. I appreciate the seemingly experimental/to hell with the norm nature of the overall project. That said, I think it’s not working in a few areas.

1.)    Music. I was distracted a few times in the first scene because it kept going back and forth between the same two songs. This had a tiring effect, like I wanted the scene to be over soon.

2.)    Editing. In a few places the splicing, saturation, and repetition seemed excessive or just distracting. Nobody wants to be distracted by freakish flashes of yellow skin and the dildo that disappears into a black hole.

3.)    Sound. The limited sound being heard from performers worked for me in the first scene and the complete absence of it from a few others scenes worked for me as well. It didn’t later on in the film. Why? I think it’s because there were more facial close-ups and dynamic shots in the scenes that worked. The scene with Kelly Shibari and April Flores, for example, seemed a bit flat to me because I couldn’t hear anything from the performers. Nor were there visual clues hinting at the dynamism of the interaction. So I wasn’t left with much.

Overall, think behind the red door is pretty exciting and I want to see more of April Flores and/or Carlos Batts’ work. If nothing else, it’s another example of pornographers pushing boundaries and incorporating a more tangible aesthetic than what has been going on. God bless the art fags.

Joseph

Because Mimi gave such a thorough and accurate account of what it feels like to watch Behind the Red Door, I’ll be brief.

I agree with Mimi that there were certain parts of the performances that were quite hot but that did not save it for me. I attribute all of the hotness to the performers themselves and disagree with nearly every editing choice:

  • The music is distracting. Especially in the two scenes that the same two songs are on a loop but to some degree in every scene.
  • The jumpy, almost syncopated repetition of moments is overused.
  • Some of the camera work is just downright sloppy.
  • There is a several minute montage before any of the scenes begin that is imagery from the house interlaced with bits of the scenes to come that felt more like a trailer than an introduction.
  • The god awful CGI transition made it look cheap.
  • The over use of saturation and filters made me think of someone who has just learned about all the cool things that Photoshop can do and wants to tell you about it. In length.

For me, it comes down to the way I think about it. If I consider it a piece of art, then I can applaud the inventiveness and experimental nature of the whole experience and hope that the film maker makes it to graduation. If I think about it as porn (meant to arouse) I just think of it as an annoying failure. It is possible for something to be highly artistic and arousing, but this is not.

Oh yeah, and this text preceded the film:

“The sexual situations in the following adult feature are shown for educational and informational purposes only. We highly recommend that individuals follow the Surgeon General’s accepted guidelines for safe sex, which are monogamy, and/or adstinence [sic], or at a minimum, the use of a condom combined with a selective choice of sexual partners. We hope you find the following feature an enjoyable stimulation to your adult practice of safe sex. Thank you!”

Sheesh…aside from spelling abstinence wrong, they also claim that this is meant to be educational and informative? Either the film makers are being facetious or have some serious fears about the obscenity laws in America. Either way, that is weak.

The Naked Truth (we could not agree on ratings, so there are two sets)

Mimi

Aesthetics: ★★★½☆

Sound Quality: ★★★½☆

Educational Value: N/A

Entertainment Value: ★★★½☆

Creativity: ★★★★☆

Overall: ★★★½☆

Joseph

Aesthetics: ★½☆☆☆

Sound Quality: ★★☆☆☆

Educational Value: (hey, they claimed it was educational) ☆☆☆☆☆

Creativity: ★★★★☆

Overall: ★★☆☆☆

The porn that split up our marriage.

Review Series: Bend over Beginner – Part 1

Bend over Beginner Kit provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

We live in a very strange culture. On one hand there is sex in nearly every advertising message that we see. And boy do we see them. It is estimated the average American is confronted with 3,000 advertising messages in some form per day.

Then on the other hand, our national stance on sex is the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting LALALLALALLALA! I am referring, of course, to the fact that a huge number of schools in this nation still teach abstinence only sex education. Because if you don’t teach kids about sex, they won’t have it!

This type of ignorance mixed with over stimulation often gives rise to confusing feelings and the proliferation of misguided concepts about sex and sexuality. Don’t tell me that you have never heard the ludicrous assertions “If I have sex on my period, I can’t get pregnant” or “Well, a blowjob is not sex so you can’t catch anything from giving one“ or the slightly more articulated “If a man receives anal sex, that makes him a fag.”

I grew up in this environment (and I imagine most of you did, too) and while I was able to get my hands on good solid information about sex and sexuality, I am still aware of the general climate in which I live and operate.

It is with that in mind that I announce our first ever review series: The Bend over Beginner kit from Tantus. The reason that we have chosen to do this in a series is because pegging is a very sensitive subject both where we live and at large. We are hoping that by going slowly with this subject, we can cover it more completely and address some of the issues that people have with it.

In this installation we are simply going to talk about the product itself.

The kit is two 100% silicone dildos (7/8″ x 4-1/2″ and 1-1/4″ x 5-1/2″), an adjustable (up to 60″) velvet harness with a pocket for the included bullet vibrator. It also has an interchangeable O-ring in case you want to use larger dildos.

As always with Tantus, the quality of all the materials seems very high and everything is easily cleanable. The harness is machine washable and the dildos can be sanitized via boiling or washing with bleach.

The next installment will cover how the harness fits, warm up and the use of the smaller dildos.

Do YOU have any experience pegging or being pegged? Share your experience with us. Either leave a comment or send us an email. Whichever you are more comfortable with.

Review: Xtreme Pack Mini G-Spot Bullet

Xtreme Pack Mini G-Spot Bullet provided for review by Tabu Toys

Mimi

The Xtreme Pack Mimi G-spot Bullet is a brightly coloured green and purple with flashing red lights, a toy reminiscent of a handheld video game system, minus the PEW-PEW shooting noise. It really does seem like a toy.

But the Xtreme Pack means business. The 2.25″ x 1″ bullet vibrator plugs into a plastic and rubber controller with buttons to increase intensity, change the setting, or turn it off. As you increase the intensity, red lights appear or disappear in a crescent across the controller. The controller is pretty easy and straight-forward. You can handily rest it on your chest while masturbating, changing the settings periodically with ease. The bullet itself is designed with a curve at the end to stimulate the g-spot, but it also works well for stimulating the clit. It takes two AA batteries, which are not included.

I didn’t really enjoy it inside me, regardless of the setting or intensity. It just felt like my pelvis was vibrating and I really didn’t feel like it was assisting me in any way. Most of its use has been external, against my clit. I varied my use between the tip and the wider backside of the bullet. If you’ve never used a bullet vibrator before, you should know that as you are holding the bullet, you can feel all of the vibration in your fingers. As you make the bullet vibrate more intensely, the sensation may become distracting in your fingers. Some women experience this, some women don’t or they get used to it. At first it irritated me (as it does with every new bullet I try), but eventually I got used to it.

Although I did not reach orgasm on even the highest setting, I do believe that if I were not on medication at this time, it would have been more likely to happen. Or if I wasn’t so stressed out. In other words, if your body is not giving you the silent treatment like mine is, you’d probably get more out of the Xtreme Pack. Due to the fact that this vibrator takes AA batteries, its intensity and power can only reach so high. It does not compare to a plug-in or a rechargeable vibrator. So even though it calls itself “Xtreme”, it’s really not. The Xtreme Pack is kind of in a grey area for me, a middle ground where I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it either and it therefore becomes best explained with a shrug.

What you can’t see is that those lights blink like an epileptic nightmare.

Joseph

I have no problem with the concept or actual use of this product. A G-spot bullet on a long cord attached to a very easy to use control panel. It has 5 speed and 7 settings. That’s cool. It is pretty powerful for what it is and the materials are not great but they are not awful.  There is not really anything inherently wrong with this product. However….

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE COLOR CHOICES AND THE NAME? Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet? Seriously? What makes it xtreme (extreme even) and why is it neon green and purple. Is the target market 12 year old boys?

The confounding color choices, the name, and the fact that the package claims that this product has a “soft rubber cote” leads me to believe that  the marketing people were drunk when they approved this one. Or maybe they had been watching too many Mountain Dew commercials…

Hey Joseph, what’s a cote?

That’s a very good question. I’ll tell ya what a cote is. A small shelter for domestic animals (as sheep or pigeons). Yep. Don’t believe me? Look.

I could understand this screw up if the producer was a Japanese sex toy company. They have a notioursly hard time translating. Guess who the manufacturer is. Freaking Cal Exotics. From California.

I’ll wrap this post up with a call to action.

Why not write Cal Exotics and ask them how they managed to cover your sex toy with a soft rubber shelter for domestic animals?

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: ★★★★★

Intensity:  ★★★★☆

Volume: ★★☆☆☆

Ease of Cleaning: ★★★★☆

Functionality: ★★★★☆

Overall: ★★★½☆

So EXTREME they had to remove the first E from Mimi & Joseph on Vimeo.