Under the Bed Restraint System from Sportsheets

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Under the Bed Restraint System provided by Babeland

Mimi

Sportsheets’ Under the Bed Restraint System is difficult to write about because it’s a simple design that functions exactly as it appears on the packaging. Four cuffs are attached to four 60-inch restraint straps, connected together by a 60-inch strap that goes underneath your mattress length-wise. The cuffs have velco enclosures and the straps can be adjusted to offer the non-restrained person more control over the restrained person’s position.

I’m using these terms instead of ‘Master’, ‘Domme’, or ‘sub’ because although I think this is an excellent product, it’s probably not particularly thrilling for individuals that are more demanding of their bondage scenes. The fact that the non-restrained person can free his/herself has both positive and negative implications – 1.) it can help build trust and comfort for individuals unfamiliar with bondage and 2.) it can disrupt the true feeling of being at the “mercy” of another person. And as I’m hoping you are aware, a lot of what happens with bondage is mental. So it’s kind of a casual, beginner, or mostly-vanilla-but-trying-some-kink toy.

However, with some other toys and some creativity there is room for expansion, which is something that will always earn a toy some gold stars in my book. For example, if the cuffs start to bother you because of how soft they feel or because they don’t lock, you can purchase harder, more bad ass, locking cuffs to replace the old cuffs. Or you could use the Restraint System as a base for more extensive bondage play. Last night he used the cuffs at the head of our bed to restrain my feet so I was vag and ass out exposed, and in a brief moment of distracted thought, I considered the myriad of ways that I could be tortured and tormented, or how my arms could possibly be tied to my legs or my chest. Throw in some rope, a paddle, an ice cube, or butt plug and you are golden. So many possibilities.

That’s really the beauty of this product. It’s simplistic, a common denominator from which you can fine tune your own brand of kink. And shouldn’t that be the point?

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her-ubrs

Joseph

I have no background in BDSM of any kind. I didn’t even really know what the letters stood for until recently and I still forget sometimes. Since I’ve been with Mimi, I have been ever so slowly exploring the world of rope, blindfolds, nipple clamps, and the blurring of the fine line between pleasure and pain.

I think that my level of experience with bondage is exactly right for this product. Don’t get me wrong, this is a bondage product; it is just one that is best for light bondage or people that are new to it, not entirely comfortable with heavier bondage play, or just want to feel kinky without the heightened level of trust and inherent danger that comes with some BDSM acts.

Sportsheets’ Under the Bed Restraint System is the very definition of straight forward. I mean, look at what they called it. There is no question about what this product is or does. It is a restraint system. That goes under the bed.

Unlike the Astrea II and communism, this is a very simple concept that functions beautifully in reality. I was able to install (read: put under the mattress) in less than five minutes and can restrain her at any time in a matter of seconds because it is always there. Although we don’t care to bother with concealing it, if one chooses, it is also very easy to keep out of sight but within reach. The straps and cuffs can just tuck away behind the headboard and your comforter can cover the ones at the bottom.

The cuffs are attached to the straps with clips that can be opened and moved with ease. This is nice because you can clip the cuffs together to restrain your playmate off the bed, and then reattach the cuffs to the straps when it is time to move into the bedroom.

My only reservation about wholeheartedly endorsing this product is the packaging. All of Sportsheets’ packaging and marketing materials that I’ve seen are exactly the kind of air-brushed, over stylized, scantily clad model propaganda that bothers me about the adult industry.

With that said, all and all, this is a brilliantly executed product. It is simple, well designed and versatile.

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“Excuse me, your kink is showing.”

The Naked Truth:

Intensity: N/A

Volume: N/A

Design: ★★★★★

Versatility: ★★★★★

Ease of cleaning: ★★★★★

Overall: ★★★★★



Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up”

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Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up” Provided by us by our favorite: Babeland

Mimi

My romantic relationship with Him actually began as an open relationship because neither one of us was ready to give up our casual, sexual relationships with other people, plus for a few months I lived about a thousand miles away. As friends we had already established trust through a mutual commitment to self-awareness and communication, so it made acknowledging our independent sexual exploits easier to cope with.

We are currently (happily) monogamous, but seeing as how it’s unlikely I’ll wake up one day no longer desiring vagina, we’ll probably negotiate terms for nonmonogamy in the future. I have never really believed that I could be monogamous without lying or cheating, which is unacceptable to me, but I think it’s working for me right now because despite being in a “normal” relationship, we still think about it on very individualistic terms. For example, I do not believe that I can fulfill all of his needs all of the time, nor do we believe we possess each other by virtue of our love.

In sum, we are predisposed to favor a lifestyle that follows self-created standards instead of societal standards. I was really looking forward to reading “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino.

This book reads similar to a sociological study yet with more frequent use of humor, personal insight, and bias. It’s also much more approachable, which is important considering the nature of the subject. There are moments when Taormino’s obvious preference for nonmonogamy becomes like propaganda to join a special club. (All the cool kids are doing it.) One can overlook these moments, though, because they’re minor in comparison to Taormino’s commitment to helping people live as authentically to themselves as possible.

If you are even a little experienced with nonmonogamy, parts of this book may seem monotonous to you; however, I recommend reading this book in its entirety because Taormino slips in things that are good to remember. In relationships we have a habit of forgetting ourselves and/or the values that made the relationships so great in the first place. It’s good to be reminded of things like this:

“When you don’t honor your feelings and instincts, when you don’t verbalize what you want and need, when you keep silent so you don’t rock the boat, it’s only a matter of time before you feel bad. “

After reading this book, you may find that it can help reinforce/redirect your monogamous relationship because the necessities of nonmonogamy apply to other styles. Communication, personal boundaries, self-awareness, trust – these are all aspects of a healthy partnership.

Aside from the clarity and examples Taormino offers, I really enjoy the practicality she employs, which makes her message truly penetrative. Continually I thought to myself, ‘Yes, that makes sense’. It makes sense to not make promises about the rest of our lives because we don’t know what’s going to happen. It makes sense to embrace other people you love instead of lying about it to yourself and your partner, where it will breed resentment and mistrust. It makes sense to challenge your fears and insecurities by forcing them to the surface.

“Opening Up” is not just about fucking multiple people. This book is about re-thinking what history and culture has brought us, then make a decision for yourself. Are you monogamous because you consciously choose to be or because everyone in your family is monogamous? Would you be happier if you could pursue your interest in the same sex? Can you be the submissive that your primary partner wants? Do you believe that the current family structure is really the best for raising children? These are the kind of questions you’ll ask yourself (and perhaps your partner) while reading this book and probably long after your done. It’s an excellent beginning to an exciting, interesting, and totally relevant subject.

Joseph

Opening Up is a must read for anyone considering an open relationship for the first time and must skim for those with previous open experience.

The book is very well written and approached from a holistic and qualitative perspective. This gives much of the book an academic feel that can be tricky. You (or at least I did) have to keep reminding yourself “This book is not the result of an extensive sociological study. This book is one woman’s opinion.” Taormino’s opinion is that open relationships are vastly superior to traditional monogamous relationships and that comes through quite clearly in the book. Some aspects are quite heavy handed. Which is fine for a book that is one woman’s opinion, you just have to keep reminding yourself. There is no et al here, it is just Taormino and her personally edited interviews.

Aside from sometimes having a deceivingly decisive feel about it, it is a great book for beginners. It outlines the history of open relationships, the different types and styles (and acknowledges that there is limit to what can be done), some of the problems that are more common in open relationships, and best practices for making relationships work. On that last item, I left out the word open because most of the things that Taormino reccomends for making an open relationship work are really things that are needed to make any relationship work: honesty, respect, time management, consideration of your partner(s) feelings, etc.

Each chapter is smattered with excerpts from interviews that Taormino conducted while researching the book. This gives a healthy “real people” feeling to the book and often puts Taormino’s points in the words of real people living the lifestyle.

Taormino also includes the legal considerations of being in an open relationship as well as different approaches to raising children, coming out to loved ones, living in peace in this society and safer sex practices. The holistic way that the subject is approached in this book is what makes it fantastic and indispensable. Open relationships are a LIFE choice and not just about getting to fuck other people while keeping someone to watch TV on the couch with and Taormino portrays that wonderfully.

As someone with a little experience with open relations and a lot of experience with interpersonal relations, I did find parts of the book to be tedious and painfully simple. But I am not who the book is written for. For someone that is approaching open relationships for the first time, it is gold.

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Do more mommies and daddies mean more birthday presents?

The Naked Truth:

Design: ★★★★★

Readability: ★★★★★

Educational Value: ★★★★★

Overall: ★★★★★

Shine Louise Houston’s “Superfreak”

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Shine Louise Houston’s Superfreak provided by Blowfish

Joseph

In non-porn movies there are several levels; good, okay, bad, and so-bad-it-is-good. Although I think that almost all porn is bad, I thought that Superfreak would be a so-bad-it-is-good porn.

It starts off with our pal Madison Young pretending to masturbate (badly) at home. Then the main and only plot device comes into the room: The ghost of Rick James. Said ghost dives into Young and, possessed by the funky spirit of James, she pulls out her trusty Hitachi Wand and masturbates for real. Watching Young please herself is much more enjoyable than watching her pretend to please herself or watching her speak.

Once Young has vibed and shaken herself silly, she puts on some clothes and goes to a party. At said party, Young immediately approaches Dylan Rion and says a wonderful pickup line, “It’s a good thing I brought my library card cause I’m checking you out.” Based on Rion’s reaction, I am glad I’ve never used this line. Rion proceeds to fuck Young in a room full of people. How rude.

This scene has some very hot moments but it also has some very awkward camera angles. The awkward camera angles are in every scene of Superfreak and never stop being perplexing. After the two are done fucking in the corner, James exits Young in search of a less spent host which he finds in Guy Handful who is arguing in the bathroom with Rozen.

However, because the film is anachronistic, we see James enter Shawn in the kitchen before we see Handful and Rozen. Shawn finds Vasa right after she is done pissing in the kitchen sink because the bathroom was taken (we see why later, yowza) but this does not deter Shawn in the least. She takes a mouthful of water, sprays it into Vasa’s pussy and then immediately goes to town. What follows is in my opinion the hottest scene in the movie. I say this not only because Vasa is super cute, but because the chemistry between Vasa and Shawn seems very natural (we learn in the behind the scenes that they are a couple in real life) and the sexuality portrayed is very raw and powerful.

After that hotness is over, we get to see what was going on in the bathroom with Handful and Rozen. They were arguing. But then James came in and with his supernatural superfreak supercharm ended the argument with one sentence. “Less talking, more fucking.” And there was. Rozen’s intense pleasure convulsions and wails really make this scene. Though, it makes her look like the one that is possessed.

Next we see Dana DeArmond and Princess Donna being bored on a couch. They discuss going home but before they can get up to leave, Lorelei Lee plops down between them and asks if she has missed the party. They respond the way any reasonable young women would, by throwing Lee down on the coffee table and tag-teaming her. This scene has some hot moments in it as well, but the noises that Lee makes (kinda like a goat) are so obnoxious to us that we had to mute it in order to enjoy the hot parts. The ghost of Rick James has nothing to do with this impromptu party sex, but walks in and sees it. And approves.

After the credits rolled, we watched the extras and I’m very glad that we did. There are interviews of every cast member and it is revieled that everyone but Rion and Young knew each other before shooting. I have a lot of respect for Houston for casting that way. It greatly reduced most of what I hate about porn which is its fakeness and it exploitative nature.

I was wrong about Superfreak. It falls into the good porn category instead of the so-bad-it-is-good category. Awkward camera angles aside, this was a great example of what porn could be. Granted it was silly and didn’t even try to have a real plot, but the sex was real and engaging and it was well lit and recorded. I look forward to seeing more of Houston’s work.

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We were hoping to summon the ghost of Rick James.

Mimi

This is the first film of Shine Louise Houston’s that I’ve had the pleasure of watching. The DVD packaging looks very professional and sets the tone – freaky, funny, and hot. Reading “real people having real sex” in the synopsis led to a brief glimmer of lustful hope; however, I was still really skeptical about enjoying it because, well… Madison Young is on the cover and while I am a fan of her ass, I am not a fan of her work. Another porn with her as the leading star simply did not sound appealing.

Despite the film opening with a scene that had Madison masturbating, it is immediately clear that Houston’s films is different – colourful, stylish, good quality, good sound, wild, and intentionally funny. Intentionally is the key word there. Even the music that accompanies each scene fits in line with the humorous, casual atmosphere. It’s not over the top, but definitely lingering close enough to make you sweat.

The ghost of a funk singer inhabiting people and getting them to do “freaky” shit is a very simple plot, but it allows the viewer to know what he or she’s getting into from the beginning and provides a basis for the humor. And like any good film plot, it holds the scenes and characters together, making the scenes fluid and (I’m using this word loosely) believable. Who has sex in a crowded room? Young does if she’s got Rick James’ ghost inside her! She also, apparently, learns how to stop masturbating like she’s having a damn self-induced seizure and really gets down to business with her Hitachi Wand, rope, and glass dildo.

When Young gets to the party, Dylan Rion wastes no time to make her move, which Young intercepts with a bold (and wicked cheesy) pick-up line. They start kissing and fucking with a strap-on against a wall, which at some points was really hot on account of Young’s juicy ass being gripped by Rion’s hands. Rion’s animated playfulness is also really entertaining after the sex part of their scene is over and they’re kneeling behind a couch, recovering and acknowledging their actions. I still can’t stand the noises Young makes or her facial expressions, but it’s not enough to completely ruin the scene.

My favourite scene was the one with Shawn and Vasa because it was the most intense, energetic, fun, and those two are just flat out sexy. They both seemed completely comfortable and happy to be playing their respective parts. I love the inclusion of the water! Obviously, for practical reasons, some “cleaning” was necessary since Vasa just took a piss in the kitchen sink, but watching Shawn spit water onto Vasa’s pussy and then Vasa’s surprised/excited facial reaction was enough to make my hips stir and sexual appetite grow. (Note to self: We need a kitchen sink hose. Oh, and a bigger kitchen.) Nothing about their interaction feels fake, forced, or exaggerated. How fucking hot is that? When Vasa wiped some of Shawn’s nether juices on her face and in her mouth, I almost squealed. Seriously. This is one sexy scene.

In second place, regarding my favourite scenes, would be the one between newcomer real life couple Rozen and Guy Handful. The acting was about what you’d expect in porn (not very good), but their sex scene was much better than what you’d expect. (The second option is more important, if you ask me.) No obnoxious noises, no fake expressions, and Rozen has amazing, natural looking breasts. She appears to completely forget the cameras, bucking her hips hard and screaming.

The last scene was difficult for me to enjoy because I took such a disliking of the half-laughing, half-goat noises Lorelei Lee was making constantly. It would have been fine, really, but when I say constantly, I mean she stopped to inhale. We muted it so that I’d stop yelling at the television and startling the cats. I also took issue with there being ass to vag finger insertion because even though I know they stopped and cleaned/lubed up periodically, I think that porn should be held to a practical, safe standard. Like when Rion and Handful had condoms on their strap-ons – that made sense, that felt appropriate. However, if you’re not paying attention like I was at the time (hawk eyes!), then you probably wouldn’t even notice and, all of that said, it was still a hot “stone femme” on femme scene.

Having seen Bride of Sin already and knowing Young is a huge rope slut, it’s encouraging to know that Houston obviously let Young use the rope for her masturbation scene. Positive female sexuality? Houston’s not all talk. Frequently throughout this simple, fun film we are introduced to notions of gender identity, roles, and how people are challenging them everyday just by leading honest, authentic lives. You can see this fully articulated in the Behind Kink interview where a rather soft spoken, joking, encouraging Houston directs her crew and talks about challenging pre-determined roles, whether it’s directly related to porn or life itself. All of this is worthy of respect, if not titillation. Probably both.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: ★★★★★

Level of Arousal: ★★★★☆

Educational Value: N/A

Storyline: ★★★☆☆

Overall: ★★★★½