Contest — We screwed up!

We recently screwed up.

We mismanaged our various wishlists of sex toys and ended up with two of Tantus’ Bend Over Beginner kits because it was on two lists. Whoops.

Now you can be the most fashionable mannequin torso on your block!

We thought the best way to deal with our excess booty would be to give it away and the wonderful folks at Tabu Toys agreed with us.

So…without further ado, here are the rules:

Leave a comment on this post telling us about a time that you have screwed up. It could be a professional screw up (asking two suppliers for the same product), a personal screw up (the time I was hitting Mimi with the Leather and Chrome Crop and she farted all over me and we laughed so hard we had to stop) or just screwing the wrong person.

Just like our last contest, sexiness is not required but it may help you with our ultra-non-arbitrary selection process.

Understand? Great. You have until New Year’s Day 2010.

Trackbacks Comments
  • Kayla says:

    Biggest time someone else screwed up was in the middle of a conference hall. I’m a bigger girl, but nothing HUGE, and I sat down in one of the conference chairs and the legs completely gave out on it. Everyone started laughing and insulting, and I ran out of the conference hall. THAT sucked.

    As for my biggest screw up, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and we were using lube out of plastic squeeze container. Well, it turns out the lid was very sturdy onto the bottle, and when I went to put some on my fingers, the lid popped off and I got half the bottle. We both died giggling and that was it for the sex. We could have probably turned our bed into a slide-and-slide there was so much lube! :)

    And isn’t Tabutoys amazing? I love it.

  • Ilse says:

    Please disqualify me from the contest, k? I got enough stuff :) I just can’t resist a forum where I can expose myself as a dingbat to the whole world. There are so many stories… But this one still makes me cringe:

    When I was 8 months pregnant, living in Seattle, I was taking the bus to work downtown one morning, and decided to buy a newspaper from the machine at the bus stop. I put my money in, got the paper, and the door snapped shut on my jacket, right over a big metal button, and I couldn’t pull it out.

    I dumped all the change I had into the machine, trying to get it to open again, but I had jammed it. So, I stood there, stuck in the newspaper box until the bus pulled up.

    When I showed the bus driver my problem, a bunch of people filed off the bus to help me, putting more quarters in, pulling on my coat, until finally the bus driver couldn’t wait anymore, and left me there, stuck in the newspaper box.

    People waved at me as the bus drove away.

    Of course, it never occurred to me, or anyone else, that I should just take the coat off and leave it there.

    And I am still stuck in the box to this day.

    I mean, I eventually yanked hard enough, in some superhuman adrenaline-fueled rush of anger and embarrassment, that I got my coat out.

    Thank you.

  • I had the bright idea to try resistance play with my sub. I barely break 100 lbs, she’s 170 lbs. I didn’t so much overpower her as demonstrate just how quickly I can be accidentally hurled out of bed and onto the floor. It’s not for a lack of bondage either…

    There was also one time where I tried to go down in the shower and I almost drowned.

  • Kathryn says:

    Off hand I must say the first time I was Dominating someone I had just met and he was so hot I completely lost my focus on the scene and forgot turn on the camera so when it was all over and I went to upload the film there was nothing there. He’s still just as hot but I am better focused now.

  • rb83 says:

    On a romantic getaway with a lover, I began opening a bottle of champagne (cheap stuff, no doubt). As I was wrestling the (plastic) cork out of the bottle, it discharged into my forehead, raising a welt and causing an ever-so-slight trickle of blood from the plastic ‘nipple’ at the top of the cork. Many lessons gleaned, including the necessity of maintaining sangfroid in the hopes of ‘getting lucky’…

  • Matt says:

    Hmmm. One night, I had just gotten a cock ring and decided no better time than the present to try it. I took it out of the packaging and slid it on. As soon as I was completely hard, the ring snapped, sending major pain through my cock. Needless to say, this was the end of any fun we could have had that night.

  • Jack says:

    I was mowing the grass and spotted a small (like the tip of my pinkie) rock near my feet. Thinking that I shouldn’t leave it in the grass in case the mower hit it, I threw it towards the house where I had thrown some bigger rocks. well, I threw the light rock wrong and it hit the patio and then the sliding glass door. I didn’t think anything of it till I noticed a growing spiderweb of cracks in the door the next day. By the following day the safety glass in the door had completely cracked into tiny pieces. The glass still felt solid, but I spent a good bit of money to get it fixed.

  • Darling Dove says:

    The biggest time I ever screwed up…
    I can’t say I have things as bad or publicly embarrassing as others, so I’ll give a sampling.

    Well, the first one is school related and not really my fault. I had gotten my GED and was going to the ceremony. You go up when they call you, they give you your display diploma, you hold it and your family takes pretty pictures, and then you go stand in line.
    I have a last name with a C, so I was called pretty early. I go up and shake hands and smile, go through the motions and… the hosts shuffle things around on their desk… they forgot my display diploma. So they pat me on the shoulder and I go stand there for the whole ceremony with nothing to hold. Eventually they find it near the end of the ceremony and so I kinda posed for some pictures while still on the stage and while we were being posed for a group pic, to try and make up for the fact that I didnt have a chance for solo pics.

    I dont know if it was because I am short or because everyone else genuinely did think I was a freak but how the pics came out made it look like everyone around me was staring at me. I so wanted to die when I got the pics back. It really hurt my memory of that day, which should have been proud.

    Another one would be a bit of a romantic chain-fail. My bf (now fiance) was trying to propose all cutely, he got me a teddy bear and tied the ring into the bow. So he gave me the teddy bear and for the longest time I DIDNT NOTICE at all. His mom finally grinned and asked if he was going to tell me and he pointed it out to me. I felt so stupid. To make it worse, he’d tied it in so tight that I couldn’t get it out. So he untied it and handed it to me. According to his mom he was supposed to put it on my finger, and he really was. But since he had handed it to me and I was already super embarrassed, I just put it on myself. I still really regret it to this day, even though it was such a silly thing.

    I’ve never really had sexual fails, but chasing my fiance around to put his leash on the collar I got for him was really hilarious. His parents inevitably found out and now they joke about it all the time with him and tell me to take him for a walk.

    So, while I’ve certainly not had the sexiest fails, I suppose they are still fails in the end.

  • Dr.Ruthie says:

    Oh goodness, where to start?

    There was the time that I was demonstrating a condom at a safer sex workshop, and to show how much it stretches I rolled it over my hand and spread my fingers. Too bad I didn’t trim my nails first! Of course, it broke and my little demo failed miserably. Now I stick to putting them on dildos, inflating them or rolling them down my fist.

    Or how about the time a little kid burst into a private pleasure workshop for moms, grabbed my big, plushy vulva puppet and hugged it to her face while cooing “prrrrrretty!” I’m not sure who screwed up there, but it was certainly funny!

    Perhaps the best one is a classic. It wasn’t so much the wrong person, but the wrong time. With a huge snow storm outside and the dorm room to ourselves, we decided to try a little light bondage and then add in some cherry sauce, chocolate, etc. Of course, someone pulled the fire alarm and the RA insisted that we vacate the room immediately. There he and I stood in the snow, both wearing pastel bathrobes, flip flops and ice cream toppings, and him with some bits of rope still attached to his limbs…. shivering away while our friends laughed! I’m proud to say that we marched bravely back to the room afterward and continued where we left off.

  • Pepper says:

    My most embarrassing sex-related screw-up was when I was 17. I had my first serious boyfriend and we were just starting to move past making out and on to advanced hanky panky. I’d never seen a boy naked in person, so I took him to my grandparents’ house (thinking they wouldn’t be home) and undressed him in a downstairs bedroom. A few minutes after I saw my first penis up close, I heard the front door open and my grandfather call, “Hello?” My boyfriend quickly put on his boxers–backwards–and dashed down the hall to the bathroom. Needless to say, we were caught.

    It was hugely awkward “introducing” him to them later at a family dinner. Even now I can’t think about the whole thing without cringing, though by this point I can finally laugh.

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