Triple Crown Vibrating Beads (Bona Dea)

Triple Crown Vibrating Beads

Triple Crown Vibrating Beads provided for review by Babeland

Joseph

I am rather inexperienced with anal toys of all kinds. The only one that I’ve ever used other than the Bona Dea (what this product is called everywhere but Babeland) is the Flexi Felix. With that in mind, I do not endorse this product.

Although it feels pretty good when you actually get it in and all the beads are vibrating, it has some HUGE design flaws that prevent its comfortable use. But before I get into that, let’s talk about its construction.

The Bona Dea is a set of three beads with an independently controlled vibrating bullet in each bead. It is 6-1/2″ x 1-1/8″ and is made from 100% silicone which makes it silky smooth and easy to disinfect. The bullets are made from hard plastic, have a push-button on/off control and last for about 40 minutes. They take two LR41 (tiny watch) batteries a piece. These batteries will run you about $ .50 each if you need to replace them.

Now that you have an idea of just what it is, allow me to tear it to shreds. I have enough complaints that I am actually going to employ the list method of bitching. It is more scientific.

  1. Those fucking vibrating bullets: They need TWO tiny little batteries to work and only last for 40 minutes. They are made of hard plastic which means that they cannot be disinfected. They twist apart so you can replace the aforementioned tiny batteries. That means there is a large opportunity for feces and bacteria to get inside of them and fester. The on/off control is placed in the same spot that you have to push in order to insert the Bona Dea. That makes accidentally turning them on and off inevitable.
  2. The removal key: This is an included metal hook that is the only way to remove those fucking vibrating bullets. You must cram it down the hole that a bullet rests in, turn in 90 degrees, and then yank it out hard. Think about that for a moment. BEFORE you can clean this thing that has been in an ass, you must grab it, shove a metal thing down a small hole, then pull a hard plastic bullet that has also been in said ass out and it ain’t easy. You have to hold on to the beads to have enough leverage to pull the bullet out. F-U-N! Oh yeah, the key can scratch the beads or the bullets creating new crevices for bacteria.
  3. The holes that the bullets go into: These serve as somewhat of a colon shovel. Enough said.
  4. The linkage method of the beads: The beads are not linked in the middle like normal anal beads (0-0-0) but are linked at the edges (0_0_0). This both makes them harder to remove and makes the colon shovels more effective by stretching them upon removal. Sheesh.

Bona Dea FAIL!

It seems like it would be better to embed the bullets completely and make them rechargeable rather than the arduous and clumsily method chosen. Then the linking method could be properly done, the thing could be properly cleaned, and I wouldn’t be so infuriated.

Ewwww

Oooo-Sexy

Mimi

Wow… what to say… what to say…

He’s right. Pulling the Bona Dea from its stylish packaging, it looks impressive and exciting. Vibrating beads in my ass? That sounds fantastic. I’ll try anything twice.

I did try it – numerous times, actually. It does feel good once you insert them, accidentally turning one off in the process, and as they come out vibrating on an orgasmic wave. All of that is fine or great even.

Then cleaning them is terrible and not worth the previous pleasure. I repeat, Not Worth The Previous Pleasure. Even if you do it immediately, build up can occur inside the vibrating bullets, and it has for us as I’m sure it does for everyone. The poo will go where it will. Try getting it out of those little bullet crevices without damaging it. I dare you. Post a YouTube video. Convince me, please.

It won’t matter, though, because I’m totally throwing it out. Now.

The Naked Truth

Aesthetics: ★★★★★

Ease of Cleaning: ☆☆☆☆☆

Retention: ★★★★★

Experience Level: ★★★★☆

Overall: ★☆☆☆☆

where it belongs

Good looks will only take you so far…

365 Reasons To Have Sex 2010 Daily Calendar

Box

365 Reasons to Have Sex 2010 Calendar provided for review by Babeland

Mimi

365 Reasons to Have Sex Calendar

It sounds silly, so bear with me here, but I’m really particular about calendars. I mean, you are committed to using this calendar for an entire year to suit all of your time organizational needs – and to look appealing. Or make you giggle.

The 365 Reasons to Have Sex Calendar that we received from Babeland for review is stylishly put together and as I flipped through its pages, it did in fact make me giggle a few times. I’m not even a fan of the page-a-day calendar (you cannot really plan ahead with these calendars), but I am still pretty jazzed to have this on our desk.

Why? Well, it’s amusing. For each day you get a reason to have sex, “prep for sexcess” – which includes “The Pickup [line]” and “The Wisdom” – and the whole right side of the page is devoted to communicating with your partner how bad you want it, where, when, whether he or she should bring anything, and some more incentive points (“The kids won’t hear us.”). I always enjoy an excuse to leave Joseph a dirty message. This calendar gives me an excuse and a place to do it. Every. Beautiful. Glorious. Day. Of. 2010.

Eff yes.

A few reasons I especially enjoy:

“I’m freshly shaved.”

“The supply closet is unlocked.”

“I want to break in my new car.”

“Simon says.”

Friday 1 blank

Joseph

Mimi is right. It is really silly to be particular about calendars.

She’s also right that this one kicks ass.

The Naked Truth

Entertainment Value: ★★★★★

Aesthetics: ★★★★★

Functionality: ★★★★★

Ease of Cleaning: N/A

Overall: ★★★★★

Friday 1 Mimid

“Pussy is a good resolution, too.” What does that even mean? My wife is so crass.